Do you enjoy your singleness?

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tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#181
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#181
Afrikan said:
On this, i guess the best reply i can offer is that, i think HE meant that our personal pursuits in Heaven come second to GOD and all His ways - remember we don't hear about Archangel Michael's wife, he's too busy obeying GOD's commands to protect we who are on Earth.

Heaven, in my belief from what i can understand from the Scriptures, is on a different plane of existence; More than anything we can imagine so i guess such earthly thoughts don't matter in the face of GOD's majesty.

As a somewhat (naughty) plus, i doubt our new glorified bodies would have the 'plumbing' for proper coupling. :giggle:
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I hope that our new bodies have very adequate plumbing for such a thing. As far as earthly thoughts are concerned I don't believe that we will enter into heaven having absolutely no memory of what transpired while we were alive on earth.
 
Afrikan

Afrikan

Member
#182
Oct 9, 2019
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#182
I agree. On the 'thoughts' bit, i meant that, i think our 'Mentality' in Heaven will be radically different because, it seems like our lives in Heaven will be more GOD-Centered than they are here on Earth where our lives and responsibilities (Work, School, Family and even SIN) get in the way of constant communion with him. It seems like there is always some obstacle keeping us from perfect constant union with our GOD.

Also, remember when the Sadducees tried to challenge Jesus on this very issue regarding our lives in Heaven; Speaking in (MATTHEW 22 : 23-30) on whether the institution of marriage will be recognized in Heaven after we enter our final rest, HE gave them a reply that implied that, though the lady in question may have been someone's Wife (she was Married to 7 different men) while she was on Earth, in Heaven she is just one of the Saints - Pure and Perfect like the Angels of GOD are, NOT someone's Wife !!

Marriage or Coupling (or Intimacy;)) on Earth serves a definite purpose, whether it be Companionship or Child-Bearing or even Fun - but from my understanding, in Heaven, GOD satisfies all our needs - Our final PERFECT COMMUNION with HIM for all Eternity will be enough for us.

As an example: i'm assuming that Apostle Paul who was unmarried while on Earth, isn't online on CC in Heaven trawling the Singles Forum telling himself that GOD has a plan for his life - GOD IS HIS LIFE, his EVERYTHING !! :)
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#183
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#183
It seems some people dont really understand that the church as a body belongs to Christ.

So in a sense we as christians are all betrothed to be married. See Revelation...Jesus wedding supper.
Why people seem to put earthly marriage ABOVE heavenly marriage I dont know. I believe the only bliss is that match made in Heaven.

Are you ever going to find the perfect marriage on earth? Hardly.

There is a common phrase 'marry in haste, repent at leisure' wnd I have seen plently of married people repenting at leisure of their hasty marriage to ever think that marriage is the be all and end all. Especially if you are young.

Being single is great, you get to go anywhere and do stuff without being tied down. You experience life more to the full and can reach out to more people. Paul did write that he wanted people to be as he was, ie single in his own opinion, it was better than wanting something you couldnt have. It is very tiring thing to be around single people who want to be married, and married people who want to be single.
Just be happy as you are.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#184
Oct 31, 2019
1,610
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#184
Lanolin said:
When God said it isnt good for man to be alone, I will make a helper for him, he meant Adam who was the only man on the entire earth at the time!

Now there are heaps of people around. So how can people say they are alone. We all come from families right? Unless you are living out in the sticks, or choose to be alone, how can you really be alone?

Being single doesnt mean you are always by yourself esp cos God is always around. And He sends us the helper. Now Jesus didnt say he would all send us WIVES. (If Im mistaken and he did, then wheres mine? Lol) but we all have mothers, and brothers and sisters, and dads and aunties and uncles and friends and pets surely.

He puts the lonely in families. Now if yor parents are no longer here, then maybe God will send you someone else to be part of your family, but I dont think people should complain about the family or friends they ALREADY have. Get to know them better.
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I am not complaining about the family I already have; I am extremely grateful to God for them, but it is a different kind of relationship in a marriage. I also do not have anyone in my life that can be a male role model to my sons; they are struggling through life very hurt because they need a Dad... I can't be a Dad to them.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#185
Oct 31, 2019
1,610
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#185
Afrikan said:
I agree. On the 'thoughts' bit, i meant that, i think our 'Mentality' in Heaven will be radically different because, it seems like our lives in Heaven will be more GOD-Centered than they are here on Earth where our lives and responsibilities (Work, School, Family and even SIN) get in the way of constant communion with him. It seems like there is always some obstacle keeping us from perfect constant union with our GOD.

Also, remember when the Sadducees tried to challenge Jesus on this very issue regarding our lives in Heaven; Speaking in (MATTHEW 22 : 23-30) on whether the institution of marriage will be recognized in Heaven after we enter our final rest, HE gave them a reply that implied that, though the lady in question may have been someone's Wife (she was Married to 7 different men) while she was on Earth, in Heaven she is just one of the Saints - Pure and Perfect like the Angels of GOD are, NOT someone's Wife !!

Marriage or Coupling (or Intimacy;)) on Earth serves a definite purpose, whether it be Companionship or Child-Bearing or even Fun - but from my understanding, in Heaven, GOD satisfies all our needs - Our final PERFECT COMMUNION with HIM for all Eternity will be enough for us.

As an example: i'm assuming that Apostle Paul who was unmarried while on Earth, isn't online on CC in Heaven trawling the Singles Forum telling himself that GOD has a plan for his life - GOD IS HIS LIFE, his EVERYTHING !! :)
Click to expand...
But we are not in Heaven right now.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#186
Oct 31, 2019
1,610
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#186
Lanolin said:
It seems some people dont really understand that the church as a body belongs to Christ.

So in a sense we as christians are all betrothed to be married. See Revelation...Jesus wedding supper.
Why people seem to put earthly marriage ABOVE heavenly marriage I dont know. I believe the only bliss is that match made in Heaven.

Are you ever going to find the perfect marriage on earth? Hardly.

There is a common phrase 'marry in haste, repent at leisure' wnd I have seen plently of married people repenting at leisure of their hasty marriage to ever think that marriage is the be all and end all. Especially if you are young.

Being single is great, you get to go anywhere and do stuff without being tied down. You experience life more to the full and can reach out to more people. Paul did write that he wanted people to be as he was, ie single in his own opinion, it was better than wanting something you couldnt have. It is very tiring thing to be around single people who want to be married, and married people who want to be single.
Just be happy as you are.
Click to expand...
Why do you think I am putting earthly marriage before Heavenly marriage?
If I could just be happy as I am I would be; and Paul said it was better to not marry but that lifestyle clearly in scripture is not for everyone. Maybe you need to be more gracious with people who struggle in theses areas....
The Bible also says that 2 are better than one, and I'm sure this can be true of witnessing to the list together.
I didn't suggest that it was possible to find the perfect marriage or that I thought marrying hastily was a good thing. And btw I am not young.
The Bible also says he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#188
Dec 15, 2018
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#188
Butterflyyy said:
I am not complaining about the family I already have; I am extremely grateful to God for them, but it is a different kind of relationship in a marriage. I also do not have anyone in my life that can be a male role model to my sons; they are struggling through life very hurt because they need a Dad... I can't be a Dad to them.
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Do they have uncles?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#189
Dec 15, 2018
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#189
What happened to their dad? If you are widowed I am sorry but widowhood does happen to everyone that gets married, you must realise that. For some it happens sooner rather than later. Its how you deal with it and how your family pull together. Go to your church family and God. Thats what He's there for.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#192
Oct 31, 2019
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#192
Lanolin said:
What happened to their dad? If you are widowed I am sorry but widowhood does happen to everyone that gets married, you must realise that. For some it happens sooner rather than later. Its how you deal with it and how your family pull together. Go to your church family and God. Thats what He's there for.
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My husband left so he could have an easier life-he was unfaithful.
And I do realise that widowhood doesn't happen to everyone😐
Whether it happens sooner or later the point is it is very difficult. My friend has been widowed many years and brought up 3 boys on her own, and even though there were uncles, they are busy farmers and it's not the same as having a Dad. You haven't got a clue what it's like. I have tried to get church family to help- but the men in my church are mainly old and live far away.
It is unbelievably difficult to 'pull it together' on your own with 5 kids (4boys).... wow... Job's miserable comforters are on here... dear me
 
Alby

Alby

Banned
#193
Nov 25, 2019
337
157
43
#193
Butterflyyy said:
I am not complaining about the family I already have; I am extremely grateful to God for them, but it is a different kind of relationship in a marriage. I also do not have anyone in my life that can be a male role model to my sons; they are struggling through life very hurt because they need a Dad... I can't be a Dad to them.
Click to expand...
No, you can't and shouldn't try to be. I grew up without a strong male role model (my Dad was around but not really). I have found that connecting with my Priest who is an older man has helped me heal some ground in this regard. Also, when I got serious about Faith I realized that, yes, I don't really have a good earthly flesh and blood father but I do have The Heavenly Father and, for me at least, that helps immensely.

Since having a Dad isn't feasible at this very moment maybe they could seek strong male companionship through other means like Church or Big Brothers. I don't want to be annoying with advice tho, I know this isn't easy.

God Bless.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#194
Oct 31, 2019
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#194
Lanolin said:
What happened to their dad? If you are widowed I am sorry but widowhood does happen to everyone that gets married, you must realise that. For some it happens sooner rather than later. Its how you deal with it and how your family pull together. Go to your church family and God. Thats what He's there for.
Click to expand...
And I do go to God...a lot... but He doesn't play footy with my boys, or teach them how to do stuff, or talk to them when they are disrespecting me or pick them up when I'm sick etc.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#195
Jun 30, 2015
25,467
13,787
113
#195
Butterflyyy said:
I am not complaining about the family I already have; I am extremely grateful to God for them, but it is a different kind of relationship in a marriage. I also do not have anyone in my life that can be a male role model to my sons; they are struggling through life very hurt because they need a Dad... I can't be a Dad to them.
Click to expand...
It's refreshing to read this. Far too many women think they can do "anything" but fail miserably at modeling maleness for their children. Worse yet, many inadvertently (or intentionally) adopt feminist ideals which decry any need for males. Hopefully God will make up for this lack in your kids' lives.

You didn't mention this, but daughters need dads too. :)
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#196
Oct 31, 2019
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#196
Alby said:
No, you can't and shouldn't try to be. I grew up without a strong male role model (my Dad was around but not really). I have found that connecting with my Priest who is an older man has helped me heal some ground in this regard. Also, when I got serious about Faith I realized that, yes, I don't really have a good earthly flesh and blood father but I do have The Heavenly Father and, for me at least, that helps immensely.

Since having a Dad isn't feasible at this very moment maybe they could seek strong male companionship through other means like Church or Big Brothers. I don't want to be annoying with advice tho, I know this isn't easy.

God Bless.
Click to expand...
Thank you... yes I am trying to get them more involved in rugby so they are around men, but these are not Christian men. The problem I have found is that they tend to bond with older boys in gangs, as their role models and then there are drugs and weapons involved; and inevitably abusive behaviour because of drugs. There are very few goodness churches in UK now aswell making it more difficult for them to be with Christian men.
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
#197
#197
Butterflyyy said:
My husband left so he could have an easier life-he was unfaithful.
And I do realise that widowhood doesn't happen to everyone😐
Whether it happens sooner or later the point is it is very difficult. My friend has been widowed many years and brought up 3 boys on her own, and even though there were uncles, they are busy farmers and it's not the same as having a Dad. You haven't got a clue what it's like. I have tried to get church family to help- but the men in my church are mainly old and live far away.
It is unbelievably difficult to 'pull it together' on your own with 5 kids (4boys).... wow... Job's miserable comforters are on here... dear me
Click to expand...
I am also a single mom. I have a son. I understand moreso what you are experiencing. As you expressed, we don’t need to be ashamed of our desire to have a partner nor are we saying that desire is more important than God.

It points to God’s design for relationship and companionship. He is not cold hearted towards our good desires. ❤️
 
Alby

Alby

Banned
#198
Nov 25, 2019
337
157
43
#198
Butterflyyy said:
And I do go to God...a lot... but He doesn't play footy with my boys, or teach them how to do stuff, or talk to them when they are disrespecting me or pick them up when I'm sick etc.
Click to expand...
I have found that martial arts is full of young men who do not have a strong father figure and also full of men who are strong male role models. Maybe that could be an option. It really can't hurt and does nurture some of that male nature. Maybe explore some options in your area. Check the places out and talk to them before joining. There are many great people in this area I find.

Martial arts, under the right leadership, will provide discipline and respect.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#199
Oct 31, 2019
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#199
Dino246 said:
It's refreshing to read this. Far too many women think they can do "anything" but fail miserably at modeling maleness for their children. Worse yet, many inadvertently (or intentionally) adopt feminist ideals which decry any need for males. Hopefully God will make up for this lack in your kids' lives.

You didn't mention this, but daughters need dads too. :)
Click to expand...
Thank you Dino.... and yes it is very true, daughters do need their Dad- my beautiful daughter has had crippling depression on and off for 9 years because of the lack of this relationship, but at least we have been able to do some girl stuff together, especially when she was younger; and I have been able to nurture her in how to be a woman; whereas I couldn't nurture the boys in how to become a man because I'm not one.
Thank you for being kind.
 
up

up

Banned
#200
Oct 8, 2019
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#200
Yes!

But it's hard sometimes, I do get lonely but it is what it is,
I must go thru this to be healed properly to have God happy with me first and foremost,
funny thing is
im closer to Jesus ❤️
 
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