Does he like me or is he just being a gentleman?

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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#121
Dec 7, 2013
403
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#121
Sirk said:
Why does romantic and friendly have to be mutually exclusive? I'd rather have something progress organically than by force.
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Being upfront prevents confusion... hopefully.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#122
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
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#122
I think where people get sideways is that they are "upfront" with other people's feelings instead of their own.
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#123
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#123
Sirk said:
I think where people get sideways is that they are "upfront" with other people's feelings instead of their own.
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Then be upfront with your own feelings instead.

Problem solved.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#124
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#124
spunkycat08 said:
Then be upfront with your own feelings instead.

Problem solved.
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if it were that easy the family forum wouldn't be littered with broken relationships and false starts.
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#125
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#125
Sirk said:
if it were that easy the family forum wouldn't be littered with broken relationships and false starts.
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My answer to the OP's problem is this...

God needs to be involved in the very beginning.

Both of them need his guidance and wisdom.

God will tell them what he wants for the 2 of them.

Because God knows what is best for the 2 of them.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#126
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
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#126
spunkycat08 said:
My answer to the OP's problem is this...

God needs to be involved in the very beginning.

Both of them need his guidance and wisdom.

God will tell them what he wants for the 2 of them.

Because God knows what is best for the 2 of them.
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While that is true and also a nice religious sentiment it still doesn't get to the heart of the matter. And that is that most people don't know how to communicate their feelings or even know what it is they are feeling.
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#127
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#127
Sirk said:
While that is true and also a nice religious sentiment it still doesn't get to the heart of the matter. And that is that most people don't know how to communicate their feelings or even know what it is they are feeling.
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Then according to you exactly what is the solution to this problem?
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#131
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
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#131
We have to educate people as to how we will be treated. If people don't play by our rules then we have a choice to make. We can try to change them (which never works) we can keep them around and hope they change while they continually cross the line (which rarely works) or we can jettison them from our lives. If we are married to one we probably made a bad choice.
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#133
#133
Sirk said:
We have to educate people as to how we will be treated. If people don't play by our rules then we have a choice to make. We can try to change them (which never works) we can keep them around and hope they change while they continually cross the line (which rarely works) or we can jettison them from our lives. If we are married to one we probably made a bad choice.
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In other words you either hug them like Barney if they're nice or pull a soulja boy and superman that person...if they suck.... ;)
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#134
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#134
Sirk said:
We have to educate people as to how we will be treated. If people don't play by our rules then we have a choice to make. We can try to change them (which never works) we can keep them around and hope they change while they continually cross the line (which rarely works) or we can jettison them from our lives. If we are married to one we probably made a bad choice.
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Which is what the OP needs to do.
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#135
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#135
The OP and her male *friend* ended up in the grey area, which is a murky area of 1) uncertainty, 2) frustration, and 3) irritation.

Why would anyone want to end up in the grey area?
 
Deidre

Deidre

Senior Member
#136
Sep 4, 2016
258
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#136
He sounds interested. That's what interest ''looks like.'' I hope that he asks you out, if it is meant to be, and God's will. :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
#137
#137
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#138
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#138
Another chance for a beautiful relationship bites the dust... :(

 
Last edited:
violakat

violakat

Senior Member
#139
Apr 23, 2014
1,242
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#139
A. I know many men who believe that if a woman eats out with them, even if it's platonic, they should pay the bill. So, this is not really a reliable way of seeing if he likes you. (Although, based on some of the other things in your original post, it did come across that way.)

B. Relationships quite frequently start from friendships. And he maybe trying to take it slow, not rush things. He also may have a hard time expressing his feelings.

C. I agree with Sirk, don't try to pressure him and find out his feelings. Let your friendship grow organically. He's called you a good friend. You have an answer for now. Could it progress from there, who knows? But definitely keep praying and seeking God.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#140
#140
violakat said:
A. I know many men who believe that if a woman eats out with them, even if it's platonic, they should pay the bill. So, this is not really a reliable way of seeing if he likes you. (Although, based on some of the other things in your original post, it did come across that way.)
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Really? Really? That sounds a bit silly and not appropriate and not the least bit fair.
 
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