Girls would you give a guy a chance that struggles with porn as a boyfriend?

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Sep 4, 2016
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#81
Watches porn on occasion, yes. Struggles with it? No. Just because we are Christians, doesn't mean we should accept any and all behaviors to prove we are ''nice'' people. lol
I'd guess I'd fall in the watches porn occasionally then. I just said struggle because, I was implying I don't want it my life.

But yeah, couple times a week. Probably less than 45 min a week.
 

Deidre

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2016
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#82
Jesus asks of us to take up our crosses and follow Him. Everyone's crosses are different. And Jesus won't magically remove the cross, but with Him, we can carry the cross. I feel bad for men who struggle with this, and my prayers for any here who do.
 
Sep 4, 2016
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#83
I think anyone who asks this also has to flip it around and ask how they would feel in the reverse situation.

Would you give a girl who struggled with being turned on by images/videos of other countless other men and their bodies to the most intimate degree, would you give her a chance at being your girlfriend?
yes, I would. As long as she wants it out of her life too.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#84
I'd guess I'd fall in the watches porn occasionally then. I just said struggle because, I was implying I don't want it my life.

But yeah, couple times a week. Probably less than 45 min a week.
It doesn't matter how long you watch it for. Even if you only watch it for just 2 minutes, then that's 2 minutes too long..
 
Mar 11, 2016
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abigail.pro
#85
yes, I would. As long as she wants it out of her life too.
Bruh, since you're struggling, I'll make the assumption that you WANT to be healed.

Why don't you get help first and focus on that? If you need someone to encourage you in your walk, there's church and theres a lot of support groups available (including us here).
 
Sep 4, 2016
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#86
My point was that I'm not looking at it 24/7, and I do want to get the pointer were it's 0 minutes.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
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#87
That's because Jesus was perfect. But you can bet that if he wasn't God in human form, Jesus would have had sin issues of his own. He WAS fully human, ya know. As well as fully divine, which means he couldn't sin even if he wanted to..
That doesn't change a fact the temptations will always be there? I'm not sure where you're going with that. With my sponsor 20 plus years clean of drugs and alcohol, he still has a feeling of wanting to every now and then. But it's not as bad as it was in the beginning because he took recovery a day at a time. Which is the case of someone battling porn. Those temptations are still going to be there, especially heavy in the beginning. So if you expected conquering would be getting rid of the temptations, that just doesn't happen.
 
C

CharlieGrown

Guest
#88
Does anyone honestly believe the women in porn want to be in porn? That logic would astound me. They are victims of culture, economy and abuse. Think about that the next time the urge is there, also they are someones daughter.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#89
Reading back over the last three pages of this thread, it was like deja vu all over again. I seem to remember the last thread like this went the same way. And the thread before that.
 
Sep 4, 2016
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#90
Okay, if you are wondering it seems like the root causes of it are loneliness and I've never really felt like I've been truly accepted. Other than God.
 

Deidre

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2016
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#91
I'd guess I'd fall in the watches porn occasionally then. I just said struggle because, I was implying I don't want it my life.

But yeah, couple times a week. Probably less than 45 min a week.
Thing is, porn is one of those things that just is negative. I don't imagine any woman doing that says ''I found the best job everrrr...I have wanted to be a porn star since I was a kid.'' lol It's usually because they don't feel good about themselves, that is what leads many women into that. If we were atheists, we could say, well these are just people expressing themselves, but since we are followers of Jesus, we should look at sex a little differently. It's not just about ''getting off.'' It's about bonding with someone special that you love. Porn has no love in it, at all. It's all about creating selfish ways of looking at sex, IMO.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#92
That doesn't change a fact the temptations will always be there? I'm not sure where you're going with that. With my sponsor 20 plus years clean of drugs and alcohol, he still has a feeling of wanting to every now and then. But it's not as bad as it was in the beginning because he took recovery a day at a time. Which is the case of someone battling porn. Those temptations are still going to be there, especially heavy in the beginning. So if you expected conquering would be getting rid of the temptations, that just doesn't happen.

Jsr, no offense, but it amuses me how often that you misinterpret my replies. I KNOW that the urges and temptations are still there and always will be. The fact that your sponsor "struggles well" with his addiction, just means that he is keeping in good control, but DOES still have the temptations for it.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
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#93
Jsr, no offense, but it amuses me how often that you misinterpret my replies. I KNOW that the urges and temptations are still there and always will be. The fact that your sponsor "struggles well" with his addiction, just means that he is keeping in good control, but DOES still have the temptations for it.
When you say something like conquer, it's kinda difficult to interpret that hen you said what you said at the very beginning. Kinda gives a vibe that because you've been what you've been through, every other man needs to have it completely together simply because one man or a few men in the past took advantage and were sociopaths.
 
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Mar 11, 2016
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abigail.pro
#94
Okay, if you are wondering it seems like the root causes of it are loneliness and I've never really felt like I've been truly accepted. Other than God.
NOW we're getting somewhere. See, we can't just treat the outer layer (finding a girlfriend) - that's a temporary solution. This will derail your thread though, for obvious reasons.

You know, the moment you truly realise how accepted and valued you are by God, other peoples' acceptance won't matter. And I know this sounds cliche but most of us here have been through that.

As for every other addiction, the root is our relationship with God, after all. If we work on that, like the branches that we are, getting help from the vine, we will bear fruits (and that's the freedom we all long for, the girlfriend you desire and MORE).
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#95
When you say something like conquer, it's kinda difficult to interpret when you said what you said at the very beginning.
''

Conquer, as in overcome the addiction and kick it's ascot. lol.. Not many can do that entirely once and for all.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#96
When you say something like conquer, it's kinda difficult to interpret that hen you said what you said at the very beginning. Kinda gives a vibe that because you've been what you've been through, every other man needs to have it completely together simply because one man or a few men in the past took advantage and were sociopaths.
Not true. But I shouldn't have to deal with their addictions, and make them MY problem. They should get help and make progress BEFORE entering into a relationship. Otherwise, it WILL fall apart. Why should a person let themself get subjected to the effects of that addiction?
 

Deidre

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2016
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#97
I'd guess I'd fall in the watches porn occasionally then. I just said struggle because, I was implying I don't want it my life.

But yeah, couple times a week. Probably less than 45 min a week.
If you'd like to stop the ''habit'', then maybe figure out why you like watching it. I mean, it could be as simple as an escape from stress, or you're bored. If you find other ways to deal with those things, then you can overcome it. (since you said you'd like it out of your life)
 
Sep 4, 2016
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#98
I know I'm valued by God. It's just other people that don't give a crap.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#99
And people SHOULD have their stuff together before going into a relationship. Maybe if they had crap together, then so many relationships wouldn't get destroyed by addiction.
 
U

Ultimatum77

Guest
The best way to conquer a porn problem is to not have technology. If you do have technology, you have an accountability partner and use something like covenant eyes or xxx watch. Those are apps that require you to share your search history with someone. Everything you search gets sent in an email at the end of the week to your accountability partner, and it flags if you searched for any type of porn.
That's only partly true, the battle is in the mind, so even if you went technology free for a week, but went to the mall/saw a billboard you could have bad thoughts b/c of the porn you've watched in the past...

It starts with a heart/mind change transformation which can only be done through prayer and reading the Bible to help cast down these vain imaginations.....technology freezing alone won't help....