If You Were Married...

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Belka

Junior Member
Aug 24, 2017
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#21
...what would your ideal life look like?
The ideal for me would be to feel like I am not only part of my spouse's life,
but most importantly part of their heart and soul, and he of mine.

My deepest longing in terms of marriage is that of intimacy and deep union on all levels.
Having the same mind and spirit, and being truly sincere and loving with each other.
That would be the ideal.

But, like Lynx said, there's no such thing as ideal. Real life falls short of our ideals.
It saddens me, but it also makes me look forward to heaven so much more for that reason. : )
 

christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
594
282
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#23
just as Jesus loved His disciples, loving her, not with my feeling/emotion but by doing/serving/putting her ahead selflessly while expecting nothing in return. And in turn, she loves me just the same, giving herself, everything to me because she knows I will lay down my life for her and vice versa.
 
Mar 1, 2020
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#26
...what would your ideal life look like?
if/when I get married again, I will marry a Christian man this time. I want a man who will be the best father he can be, who will guide his household the way Christ wants Him to. Someone who strives to be christ-like and will love me by words and actions, as well as the children
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
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#27
Dreaming again, lol

Let's see ideally...

God centered, praying and reading the bible together. We laugh a lot, visit a lot, we butt heads from time to time, so we have our forgiving caps on. I'd want to submit and serve and hope he'd not run a muck with that or that stops, hahaha. Seriously, I'd hope we were both aiming to serve one another. I hope we'd have similar interests, especially for family and nature, oh and movies, and where we don't, that is a good time to give the other their own time, just not too much of it, lol. I don't know. I am sure it would be wonderful, but filled with effort, and sacrifice cause that seems to be at the root of every successful marriage.

Oh and good balanced give and take communication and realistic (reasonable) expectations only, please!!!

Oh one more thing. Let's keep laughing and playing because we should be a sanctuary for one another.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
2,721
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Georgia
#28
Lots of love, communication, companionship, prayer and cuddles.
 

Commanda89

New member
Apr 3, 2020
10
15
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#33
I already have the "ideal" life. I'm saved! My Lord has pursued me and loved me and he's preparing a place for me in His Kingdom. No earthly gift can compare to what God has prepared for His followers.

If I were to get married, I would want Christ to be the center of our marriage bc ultimately we're serving Him while we serve each other.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
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#34
The quickest path to disappointment is expectations. When we set up the ideal we create expectations. Instead of compromise and growing together to build something new, the ideal can lead to inflexibility. For example, if your ideal is to get little love notes and flowers as a proof of love you may not notice that he changed the oil in your car, folded your laundry the way you like or gave you the drumstick when he likes them too, and understand these things as expressions of love. An ideal cannot be one size fits all. I think that one of the few things that work is when you are dedicated to their happiness, growth, protection and sense of well being and they are doing the same. It can't be something idealized. All you will see is where things didn't measure up to an arbitrary goal. The more you take expectations out of the equation and see what things actually are, you can find reasons for joy.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#35
mmm but if you have a vision, best to write it down.
Otherwise how will it ever become reality. Imagine if the Bible was never written down and God just expected everyone to memorise it in their heads.
 
Sep 13, 2018
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#36
mmm but if you have a vision, best to write it down.
Otherwise how will it ever become reality. Imagine if the Bible was never written down and God just expected everyone to memorise it in their heads.
Yeah I know. like the Native Americans do. Or did...
 

KhedetOrthos

Active member
Dec 13, 2019
284
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#37
Well, life happens... But I was thinking more along the lines of where would you like to live, if you're a woman would you like to be a homemaker or have a career, kids/no kids/how many kids, pets, church once a week or more, and so on...
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#38
I dont think anyone has much choice at the moment on where to live.
I cant see moving anytime soon, I like being at home and my life as it is. Marrying would mean having to give up evrything, move to a new place, leave behind friends and family, possibly be in debt and have to organise a wedding. way too much stress.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#39
sorry never given much thought to being married. I see people that get married and they always move away somewhere new and its a huge hassle and expense, especially weddings. Maybe if you can afford to, but most people cant afford.
 
Sep 13, 2018
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#40
Most people I know moved away to college and or got a career, planted roots and got married...