Its a tough life!

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coolgirl

Senior Member
Mar 17, 2014
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#21
What is in your heart and mind is what matters. If looks were everything more than half of us in the world would be single and not married or happy.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#22
if you want to be recognized for your inner value, you have to lead with that. lead with your words and actions. that requires more discipline and time, but has a far more lasting impression.
It won't let me rep you again Monica. Ahhh. Brilliant reply. We should all be "leading" with the qualities that we want to be loved for. Help us, Lord!
 
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TannerM

Guest
#23
haha oh my to what this has become....... I am real haha .... I understand where you are coming from. I am in a uniquie position to where as I did not look like this always as a matter of fact I was the opposite of this. I guess that is why it affects me so much because outwardly I dont care what people look like and I am looking inwardly to them. I do not have problem with lust. I am called for a higher purpose and nothing will get in between God and I more of a thinking out loud post.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
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#24
Hi Tanner,

Thanks for being such a good sport. :)

I didn't mean to imply at all that you had a lust problem, and hope you didn't take it that way. I was just trying to make the point that some women struggle with lust as much as men, so seeing a man show off his dedication at the gym may be as difficult for some women as seeing a woman with a shirt that dips too low is for a man and may attract more superficial attention.

I just think it's important for men to remember to cover up and guard their goods as much as women. :)
 
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TannerM

Guest
#26
Hi Tanner,

Thanks for being such a good sport. :)

I didn't mean to imply at all that you had a lust problem, and hope you didn't take it that way. I was just trying to make the point that some women struggle with lust as much as men, so seeing a man show off his dedication at the gym may be as difficult for some women as seeing a woman with a shirt that dips too low is for a man and may attract more superficial attention.

I just think it's important for men to remember to cover up and guard their goods as much as women. :)
Thanks I take no offense to anything people say here. I came for honest relationships that are pleasing to God. I know you were making a point and not attacking me personally. I am still learning the dynamic of this site and you are right
since lusting is not a terrible issue for me I tend to shrug it off not putting much thought into how it affects both genders. My heart is open as always to Gods teachings.
 
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TaylorTG

Guest
#27
I have such a hard time finding women that are not just interested in my appearance. They only care what I look like. Anyone else sympathize?
But....you're handsome. -______-

You look boyish man. I'm surprised you say that woman are not interesting in your appearance.


OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST ONE OF THOSE TROLLS!


Nah, you look innocent enough!
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#28
TaylorTG, he's saying that women are only interested in his appearance.

TannerM, I can't say that I can relate (at all), but if you lead your life with a godly heart, the right woman will not only be attracted to you physically (as I believe that's important too) but also be captured by your love for Christ and who you are (which is more important).

(Why do I use parentheses so much)(I can't stop)
 
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
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#29
TaylorTG, he's saying that women are only interested in his appearance.

TannerM, I can't say that I can relate (at all), but if you lead your life with a godly heart, the right woman will not only be attracted to you physically (as I believe that's important too) but also be captured by your love for Christ and who you are (which is more important).

(Why do I use parentheses so much)(I can't stop)
Exactly; spiritual things and one's love for the Lord must come first.
 
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Thalassa

Guest
#30
Seriously, get over yourself.... You are not THAT good looking. You can have your peace of mind back (along with your arrogance) *giggles*
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#31
Tanner, if you want a woman to be interested in things other than your appearance posting a picture like so
http://christianchat.com/album.php?albumid=11688&attachmentid=74981 wouldn't be such a good idea would it??

If you put the way you look in peoples faces then how can you expect them to care about your personality. Especially if you are so blatantly advertising everything else. I'm not directing this just to you either.

You could have meant your original post a different way, but this is how i took it.
Wow. I don't...............I think I'm way out of touch. I'm just too far behind I think. I missed a century somewhere along the line.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#32
Fenner! Servant! You guys are going to get me in trouble!!! :p Lol!!

*Hugs*

On second thought, I think I would have enjoyed a nice cheeseburger lunch in a restaurant instead. :) I've always shied away from conventionally good-looking guys... too much competition from all those crowds of women vying for their attention... But that's just me. I tend to like the sweet, shy guy in the corner of the room.

Hey, maybe the good-looking guy can chop the firewood needed to grill a couple of burgers for my sweet, polite, modestly-dressed normal-looking date and I. Oh yeah, baby!! ;)


I have an odd story, I worked for an acquaintance of mine, her husband, he's an eye doctor and I worked for him for a while. Anyhow they met my Husband at the work Christmas Party. Monday at work the acquaintance says to me, "Boy your Husband is really good looking." So I say, "Thank you." I think he's handsome. But she was odd how she said it, then she says, "I was really surprised he's as good looking as he is, I thought he'd be different you know?" So I said, "No, I don't know what you mean." Because honestly what was she expecting a toad? I guess she didn't think she'd find him so attractive or maybe she thinks I'm ugly and was shocked someone handsome would want to marry me.

She and her husband always said stuff that was odd. Like stuff you would think, "Why would you say that?" It was a very odd conversation. I was not sad when I moved on from that job.
 

eugenius

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
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#33
This is actually very interesting. Most guys want to have the type of body you do Tanner. But it attracts the wrong kind of women. I'm an overweight geek, and also depressed about most women being superficial. Actually most people in general are superficial if you think about it. You can always try what I do, search OkCupid for everyone who mentions CS Lewis or Issac Asimov, or any other author I like, or an interest I have.

But of course once they see that I'm not from America originally, the relationship lasts 1.5 days. At least Ukraine has finally shown the world that they are pro democracy and justice and willing to die for it, so maybe Americans will stop ignoring my profile because of past cold war tensions. You want to talk about how superficial people can get?
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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#34
Eugenius, I used to work with many people from Ukraine. Some of the nicest hard working people I've ever worked with.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
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#35
Someone get this woman a cookie... err cheeseburger.
When I first read this post, I was in a hurry and misread it as, "Someone get this woman a wookie."

Oh, YEAH. Tall, dark, and furry, baby...
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
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#36
Seriously, get over yourself.... You are not THAT good looking. You can have your peace of mind back (along with your arrogance) *giggles*
Sorry for the double post, but I wanted to say something serious too.

First of all, Eugenius, not everyone in the USA holds hostility towards Ukraine. Our youth pastor lives there and has dedicated his life to serving the orphans there. He's married to a wonderful Ukrainian woman, and so is a friend of mine who lives here in the US. His wife is beautiful, smart, hard-working, a loving mom, and very admired in their community.

Second, I used to be someone too who thought that good-looking people can't possibly have any problems. I'm actually a bit ashamed to admit that because I always thought I was fairly good at understanding what other people were going through. But after listening to the stories of a few extremely good-looking people, it really changed my outlook. A few examples:

1. I had a friend in high school who was tall, lean, beautiful, and had a perpetual natural tan. She tried modeling because everyone said she should. But she told me she hated it--people in the business were constantly criticizing her, telling her to lose weight, change her hair, telling her, "I HATE this (physical feature) about you..." Guess what? She left modeling... and became a lawyer instead.

2. I'd never thought about this before but I talked to a woman once who was extremely beautiful and literally turned heads wherever she went. But, she pointed out that it was often frightening because she'd be walking somewhere and if strange men noticed her, they'd often follow her for long distances until they caught up with her, which was scary, not flattering. I know I wouldn't like that at all.

3. I knew someone who had gone through a time of being extremely good-looking and then being more ordinarily pretty (something that often happens with the passing of time). As she got older, she got married, and she said that she saw the loss of some of her looks as a blessing, because it allowed her to concentrate more on her marriage instead of fending off the attention she used to get.

3. I'm not saying every beautiful person goes through this, of course, and I'm not saying it only happens to beautiful people. But I knew someone once (a guy) who was so good-looking he could have put any male Hollywood star to shame. He had blond hair and the kind of dark blue eyes a person could literally drown in. But he confided that all his life, people--the wrong kind--had been attracted to him because of his looks. His father was a drug addict and from the time he and his siblings (who were all stunning as well) were young children, his father would prostitute his own kids to support his habit (right here in the good old US of A.)

I was stunned... and have always made it a point to be open-minded to what good-looking people may be going through ever since.
 
Dec 18, 2013
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#39
This is actually very interesting. Most guys want to have the type of body you do Tanner. But it attracts the wrong kind of women. I'm an overweight geek, and also depressed about most women being superficial. Actually most people in general are superficial if you think about it. You can always try what I do, search OkCupid for everyone who mentions CS Lewis or Issac Asimov, or any other author I like, or an interest I have.

But of course once they see that I'm not from America originally, the relationship lasts 1.5 days. At least Ukraine has finally shown the world that they are pro democracy and justice and willing to die for it, so maybe Americans will stop ignoring my profile because of past cold war tensions. You want to talk about how superficial people can get?
Heh skinny LOTR nerd here reporting for comment!

Oh boy not OKCupid. I did that tests on that site once not so much looking for a date, but just curious what sort of women it deem me compatible with but the women it paired me up with scared me lol. Ah well, that's okay we just keep pushing forward until we find the princess of the castle or die single.

Also fight on mighty Ukrainian cossack ye shall be all right my brother.
 
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TannerM

Guest
#40
Seriously, get over yourself.... You are not THAT good looking. You can have your peace of mind back (along with your arrogance) *giggles*
clearly i was misguided when i was sent to this website
i came for something totally other than this judgement and cruelty. I try to be humble and why hide my bodybuilding side its a huge part of my life. I have little pride left and what I do i am daily trying to give it to the lord. As far as confidence not arrogance, its earned with countless hours in the gym countless hour in food preparation and countess hours neglecting other areas of my life. I give God all the praise for what he has done in my life and has blessed me with. I came looking for some friendship and relationship to someone who maybe has had or is having the same thing go on in their life. As far as you saying im not that good looking thats your opinion i have said on this site already i believe being transcends beauty. I am by no means saying I am a super model im saying that the type of women i attract are superficial and that i have a hard time finding any with substance and that can anyone relate. I am sorry you had to come at my character like this having not once in your life met me.