Midnight Confessions
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Y
A few confessions from me this evening:
1. I hate going to AA. I do it because I feel obligated to go. I'd rather not.
2. I keep a membership here because I like the exchanges with a few people and I appreciate a place on the Internet that isn't overloaded with profane language and pseudo-pornography. That being said though, I am not like you. I don't believe what you believe and I never will.
3. A lot of times when I do something that gets me in trouble, I do it knowing I'm going to get in trouble, but do it anyhow because negative consequences are seldom very negative. I also do it because it's NOT what other people would do. Yes, I'll be different even if I have to burn my life to the ground to do it.
1. I hate going to AA. I do it because I feel obligated to go. I'd rather not.
2. I keep a membership here because I like the exchanges with a few people and I appreciate a place on the Internet that isn't overloaded with profane language and pseudo-pornography. That being said though, I am not like you. I don't believe what you believe and I never will.
3. A lot of times when I do something that gets me in trouble, I do it knowing I'm going to get in trouble, but do it anyhow because negative consequences are seldom very negative. I also do it because it's NOT what other people would do. Yes, I'll be different even if I have to burn my life to the ground to do it.
Y
The past couple of weeks I've been actively trying (in my real life, not this digital construct), to speak only when I have something to say or to answer a question asked of me. At first, I did it because I was tired of having to repeat myself or explain myself. It turned into a bit of an experiment for me though and I wanted to see just how little audible speaking is necessary for me in my daily life. As it turns out, I need practically none to get through an average, normal day. It has been wonderful not having to repeat myself because someone wasn't paying attention. It has been wonderful not having to rephrase something so somebody understands (and the rephrasing makes what I had to say lose all meaning).
It's made me think though - practically all my words here at CC are just idle chit-chat that isn't necessary. I seem to post a lot but say very little. The playful banter once in a while is fun, but the rest of it seems like a waste of energy. The times when I think I have something to say I have to have faith that the message will get through, and it usually doesn't. Sometimes I fail to remember that there are people on the other end of the line, and people being people, their ability to comprehend is influenced by a host of factors, and my getting frustrated that they don't comprehend what I've said the way I said it is a silly use of my time.
It's made me think though - practically all my words here at CC are just idle chit-chat that isn't necessary. I seem to post a lot but say very little. The playful banter once in a while is fun, but the rest of it seems like a waste of energy. The times when I think I have something to say I have to have faith that the message will get through, and it usually doesn't. Sometimes I fail to remember that there are people on the other end of the line, and people being people, their ability to comprehend is influenced by a host of factors, and my getting frustrated that they don't comprehend what I've said the way I said it is a silly use of my time.
Y
I'm finding that it doesn't really take much communication to get through most interactions with people. For all the time and energy I had to go through as a young child learning how NOT to stutter and how to at the very least fake eye contact to make communication possible, I'm finding that it's really not needed most of the time.