Midnight Confessions

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AuntieAnt

Senior Member
Feb 23, 2016
4,477
1,053
113
I'm afraid that no matter how much time passes things will never change. I act weird and people can read me from a mile away. They know I'm awkward and out of place.
There have been so many things I've missed out on...and it's not that I want those years back. I just want to feel normal. Why can't I be a normal 29 year old who has friends and goes out on weekends? It's just another Friday alone with my books and laptop for me. It's been this way all my life. While all the other girls hung out with each other, I stayed home watching tv with my parents. Even my little brother went out.
I don't care about missing out anymore...but now I feel like I lack the skills I should have developed years ago. I work full time and go to school but socially, I'm so behind. I'm alone and it's all my fault.
Do you attend church? I was going to suggest maybe invite a few ladies from church over a couple times a month for maybe a movie, game night, or just tea & fellowship. Or invite ladies from your work. Each person can bring a snack or drinks. You could hold a Bible study in your home, or perhaps a ladies exercise class. Anything where you can make friends and have fun, ya know? I actually did all those things when I was a young Christian because I had moved to a new location and was lonely for fellowship. I met a lot of great friends that way.

Believe me, you are not alone feeling that you're weird, LadyInWaiting. My entire family are weirdo nerds. I'm their leader. :p We make the best of it by just owning it and laughing about it. But isn't it lots more fun being at liberty and not having to live up to some worldly cookie-cutter standards to fit in? From what I've observed on this site the past several years, I haven't seen too many people I would call "normal" here, have you? I think we fit in pretty well with these bunch of oddballs. :LOL::ROFL:(y)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,885
7,274
113
64
Florida
Do you attend church? I was going to suggest maybe invite a few ladies from church over a couple times a month for maybe a movie, game night, or just tea & fellowship. Or invite ladies from your work. Each person can bring a snack or drinks. You could hold a Bible study in your home, or perhaps a ladies exercise class. Anything where you can make friends and have fun, ya know? I actually did all those things when I was a young Christian because I had moved to a new location and was lonely for fellowship. I met a lot of great friends that way.

Believe me, you are not alone feeling that you're weird, LadyInWaiting. My entire family are weirdo nerds. I'm their leader. :p We make the best of it by just owning it and laughing about it. But isn't it lots more fun being at liberty and not having to live up to some worldly cookie-cutter standards to fit in? From what I've observed on this site the past several years, I haven't seen too many people I would call "normal" here, have you? I think we fit in pretty well with these bunch of oddballs. :LOL::ROFL:(y)
If I woke up one day and felt normal I would probably consider seeing a doctor 'cause there would probably be something wrong with me. I re-invent myself each day - it's the new normal, or possibly abnormal. :)
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
Do you attend church? I was going to suggest maybe invite a few ladies from church over a couple times a month for maybe a movie, game night, or just tea & fellowship. Or invite ladies from your work. Each person can bring a snack or drinks. You could hold a Bible study in your home, or perhaps a ladies exercise class. Anything where you can make friends and have fun, ya know? I actually did all those things when I was a young Christian because I had moved to a new location and was lonely for fellowship. I met a lot of great friends that way.

Believe me, you are not alone feeling that you're weird, LadyInWaiting. My entire family are weirdo nerds. I'm their leader. :p We make the best of it by just owning it and laughing about it. But isn't it lots more fun being at liberty and not having to live up to some worldly cookie-cutter standards to fit in? From what I've observed on this site the past several years, I haven't seen too many people I would call "normal" here, have you? I think we fit in pretty well with these bunch of oddballs. :LOL::ROFL:(y)
I get scared of talking to people because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird. I have social anxiety and that's always prevented me from making lasting friendships. I've come a long ways, but the SA is always there making me feel less interesting or less fun than others. But I like your ideas, Auntie! I'll give them a try. The only problem is that the ladies I go to church with are older than me and they have responsibilities to their families. It can be difficult to just hang out sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm one of the youngest adults at my church. I don't mind being friends with older people. I can't really relate to people in my generation anyways. lol But the women older than me are usually busy with families.

Actually you know what? There was one time around Christmas that they had a party at the church. I went and talked a lot with the ladies group. Unfortunately, one of them told me "Mija, you need to get married soon if you want to have kids." :cautious::rolleyes:
But I need to try harder, I know it's my fault. I'm going to pray God sends me some Godly friends that I can trust and spend time with. :giggle:
Thank you for the advice!
 

AuntieAnt

Senior Member
Feb 23, 2016
4,477
1,053
113
I get scared of talking to people because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird. I have social anxiety and that's always prevented me from making lasting friendships. I've come a long ways, but the SA is always there making me feel less interesting or less fun than others. But I like your ideas, Auntie! I'll give them a try. The only problem is that the ladies I go to church with are older than me and they have responsibilities to their families. It can be difficult to just hang out sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm one of the youngest adults at my church. I don't mind being friends with older people. I can't really relate to people in my generation anyways. lol But the women older than me are usually busy with families.

Actually you know what? There was one time around Christmas that they had a party at the church. I went and talked a lot with the ladies group. Unfortunately, one of them told me "Mija, you need to get married soon if you want to have kids." :cautious::rolleyes:
But I need to try harder, I know it's my fault. I'm going to pray God sends me some Godly friends that I can trust and spend time with. :giggle:
Thank you for the advice!
I, too had SA when I was around your age. It was such an awful frightening struggle. I honest to goodness had to make sure I had a legit "exit excuse" before I attended any functions just in case I got overwhelmed & wanted to flee. Once I got stuck in the church nursery with one of the most intimidating and snobbiest ladies in the church. I was mortified and wouldn't even speak to her because I was so anxious. We were both sitting in rocking chairs, nursing our babies when she just blurted out, "I bet you think I'm a snob." And I said, "Yep, I do!" And she added, "It's an act. I'm afraid of these women here." She had anxiety, too! Do you know that young woman and I became best of friends, like sisters and our kids grew up together like we were family. You just never know how many other ladies feel the same way you do. Most people struggle with anxiety and fear not fitting in. I think it would be so worth it to step outta your comfort zone to find other women who need your friendship as much as you need theirs. :giggle:
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
I, too had SA when I was around your age. It was such an awful frightening struggle. I honest to goodness had to make sure I had a legit "exit excuse" before I attended any functions just in case I got overwhelmed & wanted to flee. Once I got stuck in the church nursery with one of the most intimidating and snobbiest ladies in the church. I was mortified and wouldn't even speak to her because I was so anxious. We were both sitting in rocking chairs, nursing our babies when she just blurted out, "I bet you think I'm a snob." And I said, "Yep, I do!" And she added, "It's an act. I'm afraid of these women here." She had anxiety, too! Do you know that young woman and I became best of friends, like sisters and our kids grew up together like we were family. You just never know how many other ladies feel the same way you do. Most people struggle with anxiety and fear not fitting in. I think it would be so worth it to step outta your comfort zone to find other women who need your friendship as much as you need theirs. :giggle:
Wow Sis! You seem super friendly, I would never have guessed that you struggled with SA too. That's a very sweet story. I love how God always finds a way to bless us. ;):giggle:
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,418
1,633
113
It’s just a front people are using. Most of us are struggling with different types of issues. Me, I’m struggling with dyslexia, PTSD, and some other stuff.
I had PTSD for most of my life-I just didn't know it. EMDT(?) helped me a lot.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
694
446
63
I, too had SA when I was around your age. It was such an awful frightening struggle. I honest to goodness had to make sure I had a legit "exit excuse" before I attended any functions just in case I got overwhelmed & wanted to flee. Once I got stuck in the church nursery with one of the most intimidating and snobbiest ladies in the church. I was mortified and wouldn't even speak to her because I was so anxious. We were both sitting in rocking chairs, nursing our babies when she just blurted out, "I bet you think I'm a snob." And I said, "Yep, I do!" And she added, "It's an act. I'm afraid of these women here." She had anxiety, too! Do you know that young woman and I became best of friends, like sisters and our kids grew up together like we were family. You just never know how many other ladies feel the same way you do. Most people struggle with anxiety and fear not fitting in. I think it would be so worth it to step outta your comfort zone to find other women who need your friendship as much as you need theirs. :giggle:

That's a really cool story...thanks for the share.

Friendships can occur in some pretty unlikely ways and sometimes are just around the corner. It does usually require us to make an effort and is awkward and anxiety definitely occurs for me but I kind of listen to the Lord in it and plunge sometimes. It gets easier and more fluid but I still retreat socially.

It's like exercising. Gotta work those social muscles. You get sore at first but eventually that goes away...there are times after a hard experience you will be sore again..but keep pressing forward. Dial back at times if you feel wounded. Bring it before the Lord. He doesn't want you alone either. @ Lily or whomever else ;)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,885
7,274
113
64
Florida
I get scared of talking to people because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird. I have social anxiety and that's always prevented me from making lasting friendships. I've come a long ways, but the SA is always there making me feel less interesting or less fun than others. But I like your ideas, Auntie! I'll give them a try. The only problem is that the ladies I go to church with are older than me and they have responsibilities to their families. It can be difficult to just hang out sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm one of the youngest adults at my church. I don't mind being friends with older people. I can't really relate to people in my generation anyways. lol But the women older than me are usually busy with families.

Actually you know what? There was one time around Christmas that they had a party at the church. I went and talked a lot with the ladies group. Unfortunately, one of them told me "Mija, you need to get married soon if you want to have kids." :cautious::rolleyes:
But I need to try harder, I know it's my fault. I'm going to pray God sends me some Godly friends that I can trust and spend time with. :giggle:
Thank you for the advice!
I believe that I might have a touch of that SD also. As I got older I realized that society in general is really not worth the effort to keep up an appearance. and tend to avoid people that can't accept me for who I really am.

My safe haven is my home, the world outside is considered hostile territory.

I am sure that you really didn't need that lady's opinion about the correct age to have kids.

Regarding friends, my counsel is to maybe focus on acquiring one good friend rather then many friends as my theory is that the more friends one has the least insignificant each one becomes. My wife is my best friend, in the world outside, especially at work I just have acquaintances. One reason for this is that I am an introvert and social gatherings tend to drain the life out of me.

Perhaps I'm abnormal but that's just who I am.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,885
7,274
113
64
Florida
That's a really cool story...thanks for the share.

Friendships can occur in some pretty unlikely ways and sometimes are just around the corner. It does usually require us to make an effort and is awkward and anxiety definitely occurs for me but I kind of listen to the Lord in it and plunge sometimes. It gets easier and more fluid but I still retreat socially.

It's like exercising. Gotta work those social muscles. You get sore at first but eventually that goes away...there are times after a hard experience you will be sore again..but keep pressing forward. Dial back at times if you feel wounded. Bring it before the Lord. He doesn't want you alone either. @ Lily or whomever else ;)
My social muscles have atrophied. :)
 
K

KnowMe

Guest
Let’s see had a emergency last nite, and back to being single all in one nite gee that’s life for yea.
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
433
664
93
26
South Carolina
I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,418
1,633
113
I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.
I hope you won't let any man determine your worth. My double ex had a southern accent, and I loved it!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,885
7,274
113
64
Florida
I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.
You are absolutely good enough and the truth is that this guy didn't deserve you. A southern accent is not a bad thing to have either. I'm a southern big city boy myself but even though I moved to Florida from Michigan in 1985 I still talk like I'm from Detroit.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,664
1,969
113
I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.
Aw, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. 😟 You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

I hope you won't be discouraged about your accent. I grew up in the North, and have always been fascinated by the South. A Southern accent is like a beautiful melody. ☺️

Ironically, most of the good friends I've made on CC are from the South, and say it's a sign to move down there!

I hope God gives peace and joy with who He made you to be. 🙂