Pre-marital sex - No brainer

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#21
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#21
Lily777 said:
So the current "Christian man" I'm dating, 44 years old, goes to church, writes music onto God, etc is "discouraged" because I want to wait for marriage before sex. He says he does love me. But because I don't want to have sexual relations, he says it's not going to work out and that we should remain friends.

It's a no brainer, right?

I know it is, but I need ya'll to tell me it's a no brainer.

Cause I can't believe the relationships I'm running into with what I thought were men who loved the Lord and I though His Word made it perfectly clear fornication is a sin.

How could he possibly love me if he breaks up because he isn't getting what he wanted? He's full of it, right? No brainer?
Click to expand...
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4(NAS)

It would be a no-brainer for me. I don't plan on having sex before marriage and I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm not going to get support in my decision to honor God's rule on the issue.

In my case, I've been upfront with women on this issue. I've made it clear from the beginning that I plan to wait until marriage to be sexually active.

The gal I'm currently dating respects and supports our decision. We both plan on waiting until marriage to be sexually active.

My suggestion is to be clear with men from the get-go. Decent/honest men will not only respect your decision, but agree with it and be striving for the same goal. While it can be hard to find such men, they do exist. Patience may be key. :)
 
NotmebutHim

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
#22
May 17, 2015
2,921
1,593
113
47
#22
Not saying it isn't hard to wait sometimes. It certainly is. But I know that the Lord will give me the strength to do it.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#23
Aug 13, 2014
25,441
8,408
113
#23
With sin things that should be no-brainers might take a bit of brain anyway - mostly to figure out why we do them when they are sin.

Logic point: Things are specified as "sin" because they will cause us harm.

Logic point: Things specified as "sin" are usually things our human nature wants to do. God never had to say "Thou shalt not hit thine hand with a hammer."

Logic point: One doesn't even need to be told something is a sin to know to avoid it. All that is needed is to look at other people who have done it. It never turns out well.

Empirical proof of logic: I don't have to pay anybody a child support check. :cool: But a lot of guys I know have to send that check every month.

Conclusion: Find a guy who is intelligent enough to not get stuck in the sin trap. (Yeah, yeah, I know, easier said than done...)
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#24
Aug 13, 2014
25,441
8,408
113
#24
One word from xkcd:


Okay, another word from xkcd:
 
T

Trail-of-Truth

Guest
#25
#25
Go down to the courthouse in secret and get married, then have the wedding for everyone else when you're ready. If he's not willing to do that, he might leave after he gets what he wants.
 
M

Messy

Banned
#27
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#27
Trail-of-Truth said:
Go down to the courthouse in secret and get married, then have the wedding for everyone else when you're ready. If he's not willing to do that, he might leave after he gets what he wants.
Click to expand...
No don't do that. I married within 3 weeks because he had to have sex. A disaster from day one.
If he just dumps her for this he doesn't love her at all.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#28
Aug 12, 2011
10,448
2,676
113
#28
Lily777 said:
I know it is, but I need ya'll to tell me it's a no brainer.
Click to expand...
it's a no brainer.

makes me wonder how he interprets the passages that talk about fornication.

hmm.
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#29
Nov 15, 2014
1,583
128
63
#29
cinder said:
I think there are a lot of people who don't know the difference between love and getting flooded with hormones and wanting to have sex. Lots of people confuse the two and it is a very costly mistake to make.
Click to expand...
I never thought I would find myself agreeing with cinder, but mark this day on your calendar, folks. I agree with her. LOL :D
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#30
#30
Test_F_i_2_Luv said:
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4(NAS)

It would be a no-brainer for me. I don't plan on having sex before marriage and I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm not going to get support in my decision to honor God's rule on the issue.

In my case, I've been upfront with women on this issue. I've made it clear from the beginning that I plan to wait until marriage to be sexually active.

The gal I'm currently dating respects and supports our decision. We both plan on waiting until marriage to be sexually active.

My suggestion is to be clear with men from the get-go. Decent/honest men will not only respect your decision, but agree with it and be striving for the same goal. While it can be hard to find such men, they do exist. Patience may be key. :)
Click to expand...
Yes thank you. I was clear from the get go with him. He knows I'm waiting. I think he wanted to "try" but then now is being a child and/or God only knows what is going through his brain. Some one that will give him what he wants probably came into the scene. He just sent me a text asking me how I'm doing today. LOL Smooth talkin.. I know. I'm only here for a bit so will try reply later.

I CANNOT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I already know it, but I just needed the support. Crying, getting mad, (which getting mad helps better I think lol) and trying to let go.

And of course prayer.

And he needs prayer too.


Thank you and God bless you so much! Jesus Christ our Lord Reigns!!! He is the TRUTH forever!!!!!!!
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#31
#31
Trail-of-Truth said:
Go down to the courthouse in secret and get married, then have the wedding for everyone else when you're ready. If he's not willing to do that, he might leave after he gets what he wants.
Click to expand...
I asked him to talk to the pastor and a minister friend on it. He said he's not ready to do that. I guess he wants his cake and eat it too?
 
M

Messy

Banned
#32
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#32
Lily777 said:
I asked him to talk to the pastor and a minister friend on it. He said he's not ready to do that. I guess he wants his cake and eat it too?
Click to expand...
Maybe he has Dutch ancestors. It's really sad. I would warn him. I warned a few of those guys from dating sites.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#33
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#33
If he's pushing you for sex, that should tell you right there what kind of guy he is. If he were a true christian, he'd wait until marriage. The fact that he wants to break up, is a telling sign that he is a player and will go find someone else who WILL give it to him.. :/
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#34
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#34
Lily777 said:
1 Corinthians 10:8
Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
Galatians 5:19
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
1 Thessalonians 4:3
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:


I don't see anything in here that says if you love her, you should have sex right? Yeah I'm a bit angry right now and hurting right now, because I'm beside myself on how a Christian man can say he loves me and give me this line of bologna.
Click to expand...
He obviously isn't a christian, or at least not acting like one. He's full of it all right.. lol.. Stop letting him play you..
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#35
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#35
Lily777 said:
I asked him to talk to the pastor and a minister friend on it. He said he's not ready to do that. I guess he wants his cake and eat it too?
Click to expand...

My guess is he wants MANY cakes and to eat them too.. :/ If he's not willing to talk to a pastor about this, it's doubtful that he wants to stop acting this way..
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#36
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#36
Lily777 said:
Thank you, thank you and thank you. Can't believe how much it hurts. Thank you. I'm not alone, I know our God is with me. I'm thankful not that you went through the same or similar experiences, but so thankful that you took care to answer and that helps not feel so alone. If that makes sense.

What blows my mind is that he can tell me he loves me. "Yes I love you, and yes it hurts to let you go." Because he knows I don't want to, or that I want to wait. My goodness, my goodness, I say. Beside myself.

In the hurt/anger I want to cry WOLF among the sheep, but that could be falsely accusing. Because how can a WOLF profess Jesus Christ as our Lord? How could a WOLF write songs saying how much he loves the Lord? He may be struggling with this sin, and I'm sure he'll find many a woman who'll put out for him, as he's an attractive man. But him telling me he loves me thing, just baffles my mind.

This man is so kind, and gentle. He doesn't get mad at me, he's super sweet to me, I adore how he is to me and others. But this. I've prayed to the Lord about this. I know the answer. But I can't believe this, yet again.
Click to expand...

Remember this, even satan masquerades as an angel of light. Obviously this guy is trying to act like the greatest thing since MJ's moon walk.. lol
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#37
Aug 12, 2011
10,448
2,676
113
#37
Lily777 said:
I asked him to talk to the pastor and a minister friend on it. He said he's not ready to do that. I guess he wants his cake and eat it too?
Click to expand...
me thinks he's "not ready" to do that because he knows they will answer with Scripture, and he doesn't want to hear it.

i could be wrong.
 
H

HappyGuy

Guest
#38
#38
Plain and simple no sex before marriage. the scriptures say flee fornication.

1 corinthians 6:18

1Co 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.





 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#39
Nov 15, 2014
1,583
128
63
#39
HappyGuy said:
Plain and simple no sex before marriage. the scriptures say flee fornication.

1 corinthians 6:18

1Co 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.





Click to expand...
Preach it brother!!!! :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.