Pre-marital sex - No brainer

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R

Rosesrock

Guest
#41
#41
Love and lust are two separate things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
 
M

Messy

Banned
#42
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#42
I could understand if someone couldn't wait for years. When they negotiated with me, that's the standard talk on day 2, I don't even find it weird anymore, I say well then you can marry earlier. He wanted to first be just friends, take it slow, and then he said yeah well but that doesn't work. No, not if you hang out together in an apartment and can't keep your hands with you, then go outside and if you first want to wait a year or 2 anyway, you can marry after that. No, they just have to have sex before marriage. My collegue gets married in a few weeks. He has 2 kids. Living together is the norm here for non christians and starting to be for christians too.
 
G

GraceRevelation

Guest
#43
#43
Yes ma'am no brainer :p
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#44
#44
jeremyPJ said:
I'll be glad to tell you Lilly, it's a no-brainer.
If he wants to break the rules with this, what will he do later? Sorry but that says a lot to me. A good man must respect your wishes, especially in the Lord.
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It just makes me wonder how someone who can profess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will take that as a "Grace". I think he said something like, "I know how I am", and that he knows what most people believe, but that he struggled with it for so long that he gave up on trying to wait. I think he said also that it caused him to be very mean, or not happy. Ok, so that is honest, I'll give him that. But how in the world can he not have the conviction? I mean the songs he wrote unto the Lord you wouldn't know the difference, as they do glorify God. It's such a disappointment. I really loved everything about him except that.

They man I dated before that was a virgin and he at least wanted to wait until marriage. But he WAS mean, which is like the total opposite.

I'm not giving in, it's not even an option. We are now broken up. I'm just bewildered at him not having the conviction. We may fall short at times, but how can he think it's ok?

I know what His Word says, "Itching ears".. hearing what they want to hear, etc. It's just a bummer bummer bummer.

Thank you also for your response. God bless you :)
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#45
#45
NotmebutHim said:
Not saying it isn't hard to wait sometimes. It certainly is. But I know that the Lord will give me the strength to do it.
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Amen : ) We pray for Him to give us the strength and it is His will so He honors that. Praise God!
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#46
#46
Lynx said:
With sin things that should be no-brainers might take a bit of brain anyway - mostly to figure out why we do them when they are sin.

Logic point: Things are specified as "sin" because they will cause us harm.

Logic point: Things specified as "sin" are usually things our human nature wants to do. God never had to say "Thou shalt not hit thine hand with a hammer."

Logic point: One doesn't even need to be told something is a sin to know to avoid it. All that is needed is to look at other people who have done it. It never turns out well.

Empirical proof of logic: I don't have to pay anybody a child support check. :cool: But a lot of guys I know have to send that check every month.

Conclusion: Find a guy who is intelligent enough to not get stuck in the sin trap. (Yeah, yeah, I know, easier said than done...)
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Right on. I guess I was hoping somehow, someway that even though he may have been stuck in the sin trap, my testimony of waiting on the Lord would rub off on him, that he would see how the Lord blesses waiting upon Him. Maybe not today, maybe and prayerfully another day. We are all still growing I know.

Thank you also. God bless.
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#47
#47
Lynx said:
One word from xkcd:


Okay, another word from xkcd:
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Haha, a little humour is always good in these times. :D Thank you, God bless you :)
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#49
#49
blue_ladybug said:
If he's pushing you for sex, that should tell you right there what kind of guy he is. If he were a true christian, he'd wait until marriage. The fact that he wants to break up, is a telling sign that he is a player and will go find someone else who WILL give it to him.. :/
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Yeah, wow huh. They sure know how to smooth talk it too, and be kind and sweet and sugar and spice and everything "nice".
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#50
#50
Lily777 said:
So the current "Christian man" I'm dating, 44 years old, goes to church, writes music onto God, etc is "discouraged" because I want to wait for marriage before sex. He says he does love me. But because I don't want to have sexual relations, he says it's not going to work out and that we should remain friends.

It's a no brainer, right?

I know it is, but I need ya'll to tell me it's a no brainer.

Cause I can't believe the relationships I'm running into with what I thought were men who loved the Lord and I though His Word made it perfectly clear fornication is a sin.

How could he possibly love me if he breaks up because he isn't getting what he wanted? He's full of it, right? No brainer?
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Its a no brainer. If he respects you he'll wait,in fact he wouldn't even ask.
 
Machiavelli

Machiavelli

Banned
#51
May 28, 2016
66
0
0
#51
He could love you, but I'd argue he loves himself more. Here is a quote from one of the greatest movies ever made, The Shawshank Redemption:

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”

He could love you enough to let you go. You're a reminder to him of his imperfections pertaining to what the word of God says of premarital sex. A lot of people are content with their personal sins. They can rationalize and justify their short-comings in their heads so that they can live how their flesh dictates. I don't know him personally to make an opinion on him, but the fact he wants to remain friends while not being romantically linked leads me to believe he sees you as "too bright" and "too sweet" for him.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#52
#52
Lily777 said:
Yes so a no brainer right? He's giving me a line a bull to try to get his way right?
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Yes, he's giving you a line of bull, 100%. He's not worthy of you. Move on and find someone who is.
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#53
#53
blue_ladybug said:
He obviously isn't a christian, or at least not acting like one. He's full of it all right.. lol.. Stop letting him play you..
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LOL I know sister. I even had a non Christian tell me "pull myself together' LOL They are virgin too, (I'm trying witness to them) but they have morals in that department. Yeah, when I look back at it all, it almost seems like he's been hoping for that all along. Concur and then destroy! LOL Not this woman. I cannot thank the Lord so much for saving a wretch like me. I know He knows best for us and loves us so much. I love Him so much. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Wow. I wonder why I keep getting these situations? LOL I guess learning on both behalves. I didn't go ballistic on him anyway. I kept it super super short. When he asked if I was ok, I simply said no, but that time and prayer and more pray always helps. He said he was "sad" but hanging in there. (Don't worry, I'm not gonna feel sorry for him, lol)
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#54
#54
Machiavelli said:
He could love you, but I'd argue he loves himself more. Here is a quote from one of the greatest movies ever made, The Shawshank Redemption:

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”

He could love you enough to let you go. You're a reminder to him of his imperfections pertaining to what the word of God says of premarital sex. A lot of people are content with their personal sins. They can rationalize and justify their short-comings in their heads so that they can live how their flesh dictates. I don't know him personally to make an opinion on him, but the fact he wants to remain friends while not being romantically linked leads me to believe he sees you as "too bright" and "too sweet" for him.
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Thank you. Somehow this makes me so very sad if that is why. Why not fly together in Him? That is so much more beautiful and such a great witness unto the Lord. His Word says:

Isaiah 40:31but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Just reminded me of that verse.
 
L

Lily777

Guest
#55
#55
Rosesrock said:
Love and lust are two separate things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
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Amen and Amen :)
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#56
#56
Lily777 said:
Amen and Amen :)
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What bothers me about it is that he is blaming you instead of admitting his weakness. Even if he said he was having a struggle. But his blaming you and making you feel bad about your faith, that says something about his character.
 
Mitchell1989

Mitchell1989

Member
#57
May 25, 2016
77
1
0
#57
The word "love" is being thrown around so casually. You two like/liked each other! This is not love at all.
 
T

Txroads

Guest
#58
#58
Well... Speakin from a guy's point of view..... Hmm... Ok, not a guys point of view, just mine... But whatbchaps my hide these fellas runnin around havin the chance of a life time with a young lady and all they can do is talk about "the sack"..!!...one punch... Just one punch for them knuckle heads ruin things for the likes of us!.. Anyway, the second part is the "L" word... Yup, gets used way too much.. So much so that its lost what it's supposed to mean...... AND for the last part of my wooden nickles worth, I hate the "S" word... Day I find my gal I'll tell her straight ahead, darlin, I can't have "sex" with you, even after we're married. Now I can make love to you, ain't no doubt.... But that "S" word.. Naw naw...... Ok.... Do I need to head for cover now?
 
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