Reasons why you should never chase a guy who runs away

[secularhermit]

Well, I have believed in Amos 3:3

As a man, I see they (women) are planty of chances to choose whomever they like and life experiences have shown me that, once women (or men) chose or said a thing, a short time ago, they changed their mind for amother idea: Such a splip, a divorce or a cheating.

Everyone is different and Donna, for instance, she chose David. She was alone and liked him and he was so centered on God, on his service as missionery, that it took a great deal of time for him to see her... They are married! The last time I saw them they had two daughters and believe me (if you want) Donna was beautiful and thin (and probably she is now) and she did the best to draw him, a handsome blond with blue eyes (which were blind enough to serve God and not his flesh).

 

[didymos]

Gypsy girl said this so I thought this thread would be interesting...lets hear all the million reasons...

For me there's only ONE.

 

[secularhermit]

Yeah ladies, stop chasing me already!!

Give THEM a chance Zero!

Slow down and get in that turbo-lance.

 

[secularhermit]

Ladies- never chase a man ….. off (at least not the first time he works up the courage to say hi to you)

Now where'd I put my I'll kill you and knock you into the middle of next week if you try anything attitude?

Hi! Hello...

(and good bye!)

 

[djness]

Hi! Hello...

(and good bye!)

You avatar kinda gives me the creeps.....a knife , two bullet, and a heart...
Is that a final warning to some lady? First date with a helping of murder-suicide because if you won'r be with me you won't be with anyone?

It's more than a little unnerving...

 

[gypsygirl]

when i made that comment in the other thread, i didn't make the statement thinking i'd be feeling prompted expound upon my views on the matter. me and my big mouth. : )

no, i personally don't think it's a good idea to "chase" or pursue men, however, i know that some women do and i don't doubt that it can occasionally work out fine. when i made that comment, i didn't have any plan to make my "list" here or anywhere else. however, since i did make the comment, i will explain myself better.

also, as has been alluded by another, i have no desire to make anyone feel badly because she (or anyone else) does things different than me or be a party to some beginning a gender war on cc.

however, part of my view and reasoning is because i know myself well enough to understand why those choices would be especially wrong for me, or at least inconsistent with what i'm attracted to. additionally, i've not seen a lot of examples of women pursuing men that have worked well in the long haul. of course, i'm generalizing, but largely it's a not all that successful. especially in christian relationships.

chandlerfan pointed out good reasons that are on "my list". more reasons:

+ as a christian, we expect a man to be a leader. the dynamic tends to be wonky at some point, because his motivation may be unclear. and at what point does the woman step back? in my observation, the dynamic never seems to be quite right. it's almost a push-pull thing.

+ women who pursue men often do so impulsively, but find themselves on insecure footing even after the "relationship" begins, as they often lack the security of believing the guy is there because he really wants to. this is sort of hard to explain but i've observed it quite a bit.

+ as i've heard over and over, often men will look at a woman who pursues them as having qualities that aren't so flattering -- "strumpet", "easy", "desperate", and so on. i'm not saying ALL guys make this assumption or that it would necessarily be true for ALL women. but yeah, several guys have told me this.

+ i have seen guys get involved in relationships that they aren't really that interested in simply because they were bored and and a woman pursued him. i don't know why any woman would want to be involved in a relationship that was chosen because it was only slightly better than being alone, or simply a distraction from his boredom/loneliness.

+ when it comes to love, i believe we should all be going after our "first choice" scenario--my version of the "fairy tale", rather than an unhappy compromise. because men have deeper/sooner (initial) investment and attraction, it makes more sense for them to pursue whom they desire. most women develop emotional investment in more slow, gradual and often cause/effect manner.

+ dating should be the audition for marriage. women have a good opportunity to see leadership and a lot of other qualities that are required of men in christian marriage. a woman who chooses to pursue men forfeit some of this opportunity.

there are a lot more scenarios that i could list, but honestly, i'd struggle to explain them in the words necessary for a post. of course they don't always apply, but they certainly COULD apply and are part why i feel the way i do.

as to the comment made earlier about women "playing hard to get":

just because i think that women "chasing" men is a bad idea doesn't mean i think women are off the hook for behavior, responsibility and godliness. or they are entitled to play games. far from it.

further, i don't understand why any woman would want to pursue a guy. as far as i'm concerned, being pursued by a godly man is one of the entirely lovely perks of being a woman. i'd not want any girl to miss out on that. : )

 

[wisebeardman]

good luck in the contest, me as a guy I don't chase people. if they want something to do with me they can just come to me and tell me, otherwise I ain't wasting my time on pipe dreams and fantasy.

 

[secularhermit]

Hmmm!

I like these words Boaz said:

Rth 2:8 Then said Boaz to Ruth, Give ear to me, my daughter: do not go to take up the grain in another field, or go away from here...

She obeyed her mother-in-law (I hope her heart and body were well pleased too)


Rth 3:8

 

[gypsygirl]

good luck in the contest, me as a guy I don't chase people. if they want something to do with me they can just come to me and tell me, otherwise I ain't wasting my time on pipe dreams and fantasy.

that's okay, wb. : )

i too wish you "luck" and your "forward-speaking-lady-of-the-future" a very pleasant and pragmatic future, entirely lacking in pipe dreams and wasted time. ; p

wait, there's a contest?!?!?

 

[secularhermit]

I like whatever thing each person choses, particularly in a matter thought largely, as the REO´s song goes:

Should I follow my head? Should I follow my heart?
Should I follow my head or my heart?

​

 

[zeroturbulence]

You avatar kinda gives me the creeps.....a knife , two bullet, and a heart...
Is that a final warning to some lady? First date with a helping of murder-suicide because if you won'r be with me you won't be with anyone?

It's more than a little unnerving...

I thought it was a pocketknife, two joints and heart-printed rolling papers, but what do I know..

 

[JesusLives]

Blond old lady reasons.

1. Not worth it.
2. Most guys are afraid of commitment.
3. I've heard that most guys like to be the pursuer.
4. If the guy does pursue you then that means he is interested in you.
5. It makes women look desperate.
6. As a woman I want the guy to pursue.

I know now days a lot of the OLD rules have changed but I am young old so those rules still apply to me....

When a guy would personal message me on CC I would always return the message, but if he stopped messaging me then I stopped as being older now I learned from my earlier mistakes and refused to chase after a guy. Ask tourist how that worked out because he did write a little and then stopped and I stopped writing.

The most I did do was I noticed that he was not on my friend list but that he had deleted all of his friends so I did write and ask him if he had a bad day and go squirrely on us and delete all his friends and he had. So he added me back on and started writing again and the rest is CC history...

But no I did not chase him and would not chase any other guy either....just not a good thing to do and really do we women want to be directing the relationship....not me.....good luck ladies with all the new rules....

 

[secularhermit]

You avatar kinda gives me the creeps.....a knife , two bullet, and a heart...
Is that a final warning to some lady? First date with a helping of murder-suicide because if you won'r be with me you won't be with anyone?

It's more than a little unnerving...

Ha! Ha! Ha!

That´s funny and I would reinforce what you think "I said" by posting it on my post, but I didn´t that way.

What do people "think" when they see your avatar and that cock tagged along to an empty ring?



That´s not my business.

I could say or think anyway, but that knife and that pic are special to me I don´t need to say why creepily and chameleonicly I uploaded there.

 

[secularhermit]

Blond old lady reasons.

1. Not worth it.
2. Most guys are afraid of commitment.
3. I've heard that most guys like to be the pursuer.
4. If the guy does pursue you then that means he is interested in you.
5. It makes women look desperate.
6. As a woman I want the guy to pursue.

...

Hmm!

I wish the lawyer I met last week would read your point 2.

The moment I heard her talking I knew why some guys are fleeing from her and, if any man would see her, he would like to cope, except the moment he knew what I learn.

My own daughter, who´s less that 15, made me feel discouraged, yet she feels with pics like this on fakebook she will get the best of the best (they´re not pursuing, but publicly advertised as an asset)

(Disclaimer: I don´t show, here, what I have seen on FB to avoid censorship)



Their technique is showing what they´ve got and "taking" what should be left...

I respectfully say I don´t believe your point 2 to be true.

My one of my Catholic friends is doing his best after her wife divorced him (he failed, and know he has several years trying to get her back) (he thinks he still being married to her spiritually: Some Catholics believe legal divorce is not that legal before God´s eye)

I have seen a huge amount of men and women willing to be married but those who probably will not, are trying to discourage those who still have guts to be married (or pursue) and the bad news is THOSE ARE GETTING TOO OLD and, when those get "married" they are getting married a sick woman or a sick man, a worn out body, a barren hip...

Who is willing to marry a problem? (That´s not my problem or business)

Here, as a man, I have seen even married women (married women) still being pursued and wooed at this earthly life where I have sinned the same way.

I wish those ladies will give them an exact tip to let them know they have hopes, at least the Asian way, because after they have married those ladies, those "stable ones" quickly changed their mind and chose another man, and I have seen that "movie" even inside Christian circles and I, as "a Christian", one who vasectomized to avoid more kids, one who believes there´s no need to be married to love (and being loved), as one who believes we´re not going to be married in Heavens (Mark 12:25) I beg for those who have the right to follow their heads or their hearts, same way my crazy daughter.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Does this have anything to do with the Why do men suddenly disappear thread? I'm not sure how to address "why you should never chase a guy..." because I don't think that the statement applies as ubiquitously as it sounds.

 

[secularhermit]

I thought it was a pocketknife, two joints and heart-printed rolling papers, but what do I know..

A knife like this



a heart I had on my T-shirt and two bullets I used.

 

[JesusLives]

Hmm!



I respectfully say I don´t believe your point 2 to be true.

SH - my friend.....it is o.k. for you to disagree with me however in my 35 years of single life the guys were running away from commitment. But then after being married once and a divorce I was afraid of commitment too......

So I would say that most guys fall in that category. You, tourist and your friend you spoke of believe me are the exception to the rule not the norm....

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

SH - my friend.....it is o.k. for you to disagree with me however in my 35 years of single life the guys were running away from commitment. But then after being married once and a divorce I was afraid of commitment too......

So I would say that most guys fall in that category. You, tourist and your friend you spoke of believe me are the exception to the rule not the norm....

That's not fair! Or maybe it is. I'm not sure.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I think the key words here are "running away". Let them go. I want a man who will come toward me and stay there.

 

[vic1980]

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

&

Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

God is Good always