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Nick01

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2013
1,272
26
48
How did we get to talking about feminist rule and bride shopping in south east Asia? :/

Let's be honest, all anyone really wants from this thread is to be told to go ask that attractive young Christian man or woman out. Let's not overcomplicate things.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,379
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To tell you the truth it will be up to the Christian woman to prove her worthiness to her future husband that she isn't a feminist and doesn't support the agenda at all and the marriage would be for life.

After nearly 50 years of the so-called "feminist rule," it is an uphill climb because the trust isn't there for most men. I would trust a foreign woman any day before I would an American woman and I am sure I am not alone.
Yes, I understand that you are extremely bitter towards American women, and that is between you and God, as well as your belief that women have to prove themselves as worthy without mentioning the same of men.

Something I never understand though, and I mean this sincerely, is that while you are obviously an incredibly intelligent person, you never speak to people as individuals or address anything about them that they share here that makes them unique.

For instance, Grace-Like-Rain is far from a jealous raging feminist who spends her days pining for a man. If you read anything about her, you'll know she's one of the kindest, most understanding people on the forum and was a loving and devoted wife to a husband who deserted her for the arms of another woman. And I have no doubt that when the time comes for whatever God has planned for her, she will treat her future husband with respect and devotion as well. If nothing else, she'll be an even greater wife because of all she's learned, and if you read her posts, she loved being a wife and serving her husband.

I'm just never sure why, in all of the knowledge you have to share, you always address wide groups and generalizations and not people as the individuals they are here.

I honestly wish you would. I have especially enjoyed your posts about the social dynamics of black families and just think you'd have even more to offer if it was a bit more personalized.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,379
113
without tens of millions of women jumping unto the bandwagon
edit: with tens of millions ....
Grace, I'm happy to announce that you and I constitute as "tens of millions of women", apparently... :)
 
B

biscuit

Guest
Yes, I understand that you are extremely bitter towards American women, and that is between you and God, as well as your belief that women have to prove themselves as worthy without mentioning the same of men.

Something I never understand though, and I mean this sincerely, is that while you are obviously an incredibly intelligent person, you never speak to people as individuals or address anything about them that they share here that makes them unique.

For instance, Grace-Like-Rain is far from a jealous raging feminist who spends her days pining for a man. If you read anything about her, you'll know she's one of the kindest, most understanding people on the forum and was a loving and devoted wife to a husband who deserted her for the arms of another woman. And I have no doubt that when the time comes for whatever God has planned for her, she will treat her future husband with respect and devotion as well. If nothing else, she'll be an even greater wife because of all she's learned, and if you read her posts, she loved being a wife and serving her husband.

I'm just never sure why, in all of the knowledge you have to share, you always address wide groups and generalizations and not people as the individuals they are here.

I honestly wish you would. I have especially enjoyed your posts about the social dynamics of black families and just think you'd have even more to offer if it was a bit more personalized.
We have never gotten along and you have a real problem with "putting words in my mouth, so I will refrain from "unleashing" on you because you are a women with issues. I have compassion for those who are mentally ill.

Don't blame me for your failures and traumatic childhood. And don't blame me because a man won't put up with you. I will not allow you to play the "victim" and have those rushing to your resue. It gets to be old.

Have a Merry Christmas and hopefully you will find a man under your Christmas tree.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
Sometimes it feels like some within each sex spend more time doing war in their head with the phantom mental creation of the worst possible characteristics of the opposite sex they can imagine, than they do exerting effort in preparing themselves to love THE ONE that may actually exist. It's as if they're already fully wed to the worst possible mental creation they could fathom. Their negative thoughts about the opposite sex have become the wedding ring they've put on their dismal present existence and maybe life long destiny.
 
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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,379
113
We have never gotten along and you have a real problem with "putting words in my mouth, so I will refrain from "unleashing" on you because you are a women with issues. I have compassion for those who are mentally ill.

Don't blame me for your failures and traumatic childhood. And don't blame me because a man won't put up with you. I will not allow you to play the "victim" and have those rushing to your resue. It gets to be old.

Have a Merry Christmas and hopefully you will find a man under your Christmas tree.
I don't see how anything in my post was putting words in your mouth or blaming you for anything. Ironic that you are the one who mentions mental illness.

I'm not sure where it is you get these things about me.

1. Traumatic childhood? You've accused me of this many times, and I've written several times that I was adopted into the most loving, Christian family God could have ever found for me. How is it that you keep seeing something that isn't there?
2. Failures? Exactly what would those be in your eyes? Like any human being I have sins and shortcomings, but nothing in my life sticks out to me as blatant failure. I try to learn from everything I go through.
3. Blame you? I've never blamed you for anything and there is not reason why I would.
4. Playing the victim? How, exactly?
5. A man won't put up with me? Not only do I have a wonderful earthly father who CHOSE to adopt me, I have many wonderful guy friends. Some of whom have even stuck around through thick and thin for nearly a lifetime. I am grateful to have men who not only put up with me, but insist they keep me around.
6. Hoping I'll find a man under my tree? Well, if it's God's will... Until then, I keep plugging along, as I have been, for many years, and will continue to do so for as long as God wants me to.

Actually, what I'd really love to find under my tree is a ticket to go see my one of my best friends, her husband, and their kids.

This is exactly what I meant in my post. I don't know why you always speak in generalizations--I often wonder if, because you mention it so much, it's your own traumatic childhood you may be remembering and displacing on others--and I do sincerely believe that if you spoke to people as individuals and listened to what they have to say, you would have so much more to give.

God bless, and Merry Christmas.
 
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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,379
113
We have never gotten along and you have a real problem with "putting words in my mouth, so I will refrain from "unleashing" on you because you are a women with issues. I have compassion for those who are mentally ill.
This is at least the second time you've talked about "unleashing" on me in the threads. What really holds you back? The more you speak, the more it shows your heart.

Matthew 12:34--"Out of the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks."

What is your heart filled with, Biscuit? Do you see yourself as the example of what a Christian man should be, especially for our younger brothers in Christ here?

I'm never sure of why it is as well that you say women would have to prove themselves worthy... or why you feel you have the right to judge what IS worthy. I would love it if you would have a conversation about some of these issues with my (earthly) father someday, as he has a wife whom you speak of as being one of the "real women."

I'm sure you'd probably dismiss my parents though, or maybe tell them you'd "unleash" on them, too.
 
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Nick01

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2013
1,272
26
48
We have never gotten along and you have a real problem with "putting words in my mouth, so I will refrain from "unleashing" on you because you are a women with issues. I have compassion for those who are mentally ill.

Don't blame me for your failures and traumatic childhood. And don't blame me because a man won't put up with you. I will not allow you to play the "victim" and have those rushing to your resue. It gets to be old.

Have a Merry Christmas and hopefully you will find a man under your Christmas tree.
TBH, biscuit, I lost all sympathy for your pushback when you stooped to throwing around the 'mentally ill' card. By all means, speak your mind, but I don't have to think highly of you because of it.

I have problems with seoulsearch's use of that card (!), as well, so don't think I'm just picking on you. But you were the one who decided to take it to that kind of place, when it was just completely unnecessary, particular when we're not really talking about anything THAT important in the scheme of things. And at least she made an attempt to make positive remarks about your character.

I am glad to hear you are compassionate - now you just need to progress past using it for forum debate point scoring.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
You've got the wrong group though seoulsearch. False correlation. Zero causation. Death row prisoners don't cast shadows on astronauts and Christian men marrying abroad and starting nuclear families don't cast shadows on organized criminal sex trafficking networks (except to stamp them out of course).




Every group casts a shadow somewhere.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
The behavior is rooted firmly in the reality that "THE ONE" serves divorce papers between 40%-50% of the time in first marriages in the U.S. whether the person being served the divorce papers lives in denial of the possibility or not.

And when it happens, it always results in moderate to serious undesirably consequences and sometimes with draconian ones such as when false allegations of abuse are launched in order to remove a parent from having any custody whatsoever.

This is more prevalent in divorce cases than any other scenario and it's a really really BIG deal if it happens to you. See: https://www.nolanchart.com/article2...al-abuse-allegations-in-custody-disputes-html

Certainly I understand your point but performing a proper analysis before engaging in major life decisions is biblical and wise. Getting married isn't like buying a car. Cars can't file no fault divorces and make false criminal allegations against you.

"For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’" -Luke 14:28-30


Sometimes it feels like some within each sex spend more time doing war in their head with the phantom mental creation of the worst possible characteristics of the opposite sex they can imagine, than they do exerting effort in preparing themselves to love THE ONE that may actually exist. It's as if they're already fully wed to the worst possible mental creation they could fathom. Their negative thoughts about the opposite sex have become the wedding ring they've put on their dismal present existence and maybe life long destiny.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
The behavior is rooted firmly in the reality that "THE ONE" serves divorce papers between 40%-50% of the time in first marriages in the U.S. whether the person being served the divorce papers lives in denial of the possibility or not.

And when it happens, it always results in moderate to serious undesirably consequences and sometimes with draconian ones such as when false allegations of abuse are launched in order to remove a parent from having any custody whatsoever.

This is more prevalent in divorce cases than any other scenario and it's a really really BIG deal if it happens to you. See: https://www.nolanchart.com/article2...al-abuse-allegations-in-custody-disputes-html

Certainly I understand your point but performing a proper analysis before engaging in major life decisions is biblical and wise. Getting married isn't like buying a car. Cars can't file no fault divorces and make false criminal allegations against you.

"For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’" -Luke 14:28-30
I wonder if this unwise sort of thinking you've pointed out is rooted in a belief in "The One." On some level anyway.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Plenty of people like you both so you don't need to like each other ;). Use the ignore feature and be at peace. Peace. :)
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
Plenty of people like you both so you don't need to like each other ;). Use the ignore feature and be at peace. Peace. :)
I think you misinterpreted my statement.

I am wondering if the opinion you took to task (i.e. Still's opinion) is usually made on the basis that there is a "one" out there.

Honestly, I think a lot of people forsake practical wisdom because they buy that hornswaggle.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
I actually understand what you're talking about. Society is full of wives tales and folklore. There is no "THE ONE" chosen for every person before the foundations of the world were laid that magically appears on the wings of angels at exactly the right time.

But 1Still_Waters did make a solid point that preparing for a successful marriage involves preparing oneself in advance to have a successful marriage instead of becoming obsessed with all the negative things that can happen. He's right.

That said, the system is busted to the point that half of the time it all washes down the drain where, in the sewer, things can get really really ugly for a long long time regardless of how positive one's attitude is or how well they did prepare in advance. Those negative things do happen and happen a LOT to people who did exactly as he suggested.

Since one can proceed in such a way that their 40 to 50 percent risk is materially reduced, even to negligible, it only makes sense to proceed in that way.

Certainly his point is well taken but let's not live in denial either and forgo the other things that can make for a successful marriage avoiding the risky weighty consequences of divorce.

Like, completely bypassing the feminist "family" model that exists in the West for a much more favorable one as an example ;).


I wonder if this unwise sort of thinking you've pointed out is rooted in a belief in "The One." On some level anyway.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Oh no. I was talking to biscuit and seoulsearch.

I think you misinterpreted my statement.

I am wondering if the opinion you took to task (i.e. Still's opinion) is usually made on the basis that there is a "one" out there.

Honestly, I think a lot of people forsake practical wisdom because they buy that hornswaggle.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
The behavior is rooted firmly in the reality that "THE ONE" serves divorce papers between 40%-50% of the time in first marriages in the U.S. whether the person being served the divorce papers lives in denial of the possibility or not.

And when it happens, it always results in moderate to serious undesirably consequences and sometimes with draconian ones such as when false allegations of abuse are launched in order to remove a parent from having any custody whatsoever.

This is more prevalent in divorce cases than any other scenario and it's a really really BIG deal if it happens to you. See: https://www.nolanchart.com/article2...al-abuse-allegations-in-custody-disputes-html

Certainly I understand your point but performing a proper analysis before engaging in major life decisions is biblical and wise. Getting married isn't like buying a car. Cars can't file no fault divorces and make false criminal allegations against you.

"For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’" -Luke 14:28-30
We can construct any type of bogeyman in our mind based on the information we want to choose.
There are a diversity of research papers out there that can validate the narratives we long to construct.

I fear what's feeding the bogeyman in the mind of many is a thought process that went amuck somewhere along the line. Instead of information being the driving force of reality, a person's own bias or desires constructs the reality. Their desire leads them to grasp for straws of evidence, that in the end become straw houses.

As Christians our job is to construct reality based on the rock of God's word. Sure we can know all of the research findings, but one shouldn't let those findings bend one's desires so the driving force of the reality they seek to construct comes from their own jaded mindset, instead of the word of God.

Live in the shelter of God and his word. It's a much more pleasant and peaceful experience.

Now I'm off...for a while..

ciao.
 
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Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
All this flirting is just exhausting to follow. Sheesh guys, get a room already.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Please show me a research paper that validates the narrative that a society of talking marbles lives on Pluto. Since it doesn't exist, you'll have to write it. But, for it to be a scholarly research paper, it will have to pass through a process of peer review in which PhD scholars who are experts in that field review it for accuracy before approving it for publication by a scholarly journal whose own editorial scholars will again check it for accuracy.

Finally, if an error does get through, the audience of such journals are also populated by scholars and they will publicly refute it. This, of course, is why a research paper that validates the narrative of a society of talking marbles on Pluto will never make it to publication in a scholarly journal. The point is that not all narratives are validated by scholarly research papers but rather only those whose argument(s) are reasonably supported by empirical evidence.

Secondly, a 40 to 50 percent divorce rate is no bogeyman or a figment of imagination but rather an existing reality seriously negatively affecting the lives of about 1:2 people in first marriages.

What I see you saying is that people can live in denial of reality. The problem with that is that reality is real and therefore may be interjected into whatever "reality" you are busy constructing.

As Robert Burns said in 1786, "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]."

Wishful thinking - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The millions of genuine Christian men who, in the course of constructing reality based on the rock of God's Word, had a visit from a process server to appear for their first divorce hearing can certainly attest to the reality of that.

Let's not live in denial of reality but rather exercise wisdom and make appropriate choices that, in reality, increase our strengths and opportunities and reduce our risks and liabilities with what is perhaps the second most important decision we'll ever make in our lives so that we can realize and continue to realize a pleasant and peaceful experience afterwards that isn't abruptly interrupted by divorce court proceedings despite our best efforts to construct reality based on the rock of God's Word as has happened to so many genuine Christian men who endeavored to do exactly that.


We can construct any type of bogeyman in our mind based on the information we want to choose.
There are a diversity of research papers out there that can validate the narratives we long to construct.

I fear what's feeding the bogeyman in the mind of many is a thought process that went amuck somewhere along the line. Instead of information being the driving force of reality, a person's own bias or desires constructs the reality. Their desire leads them to grasp for straws of evidence, that in the end become straw houses.

As Christians our job is to construct reality based on the rock of God's word. Sure we can know all of the research findings, but one shouldn't let those findings bend one's desires so the driving force of the reality they seek to construct comes from their own jaded mindset, instead of the word of God.

Live in the shelter of God and his word. It's a much more pleasant and peaceful experience.

Now I'm off...for a while..

ciao.