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T
I understand the great temptation to enjoy each other fully in a solid, romantic relationship, but I also believe it's important to wait until the marriage covenant has been sealed before God and others to proceed.
Wow. That sounded a bit formal. Try this:
Don't make love before you commit before the One who is Love.
Wow. That sounded a bit formal. Try this:
Don't make love before you commit before the One who is Love.
which goes to show you that many women, and men, are confused and don't know what they want. i think a lot of women are sold on the idea of seeing a "conversion" than an actual bad boy. because the bad boy fantasy that i'm aware of isn't so much about wanting a bad boy, but a bad boy who straightens out, essentially behaves for them. it's the idea that they are somehow special enough, or worthy of taming, the motivation to make the guy fly straight. what load of compost.
that said, i don't think most grown up women are interested in that fantasy. the rest of men and women who long for a "bad boy" or "bad girl" want all the fun of being bad, but, instead of having to take responsibility for being that person, they can experience this with someone who is more culpable for the "badness". so in a sense, it's the person who likes the concept of fun and rebellion, i.e. misbehaving, but has no real clue what that looks like, or how to be that "bad" person they are seeking. essentially, it's a person with a rebellious heart who wants an accomplice and/or guide.
it's all a silly fallacy, and something i wish would stop being trotted out as a fun thing. i have been called a "good" bad girl several times in my life (whatever that means) and i don't find it terribly flattering, though i am mostly sure it was meant as a compliment. at least not in accordance with what i know or believe it to represent.
grown-up, godly women have no desire to be with a "bad boy".
that said, i don't think most grown up women are interested in that fantasy. the rest of men and women who long for a "bad boy" or "bad girl" want all the fun of being bad, but, instead of having to take responsibility for being that person, they can experience this with someone who is more culpable for the "badness". so in a sense, it's the person who likes the concept of fun and rebellion, i.e. misbehaving, but has no real clue what that looks like, or how to be that "bad" person they are seeking. essentially, it's a person with a rebellious heart who wants an accomplice and/or guide.
it's all a silly fallacy, and something i wish would stop being trotted out as a fun thing. i have been called a "good" bad girl several times in my life (whatever that means) and i don't find it terribly flattering, though i am mostly sure it was meant as a compliment. at least not in accordance with what i know or believe it to represent.
grown-up, godly women have no desire to be with a "bad boy".
J
A Thought:
Maybe this isn’t in line with this topic, I’m not sure but, isn’t a righteous man supposed to be meek?
A Story:
So, maybe this is a little off topic, but I think it might help some people.
For years I asked gals out on dates, I tried various mindsets and tactics, but never had a single success. Eventually I realized how this search for a spouse was making me unhappy. I found that it was difficult and getting more difficult to be around or approach young women because I was always evaluating each one on whether she was the right one for me or not, and I was always feeling like those young women were judging me or evaluating me back. So, I finally gave it all to the Lord, decided to be happy as a bachelor, and changed my thinking back to how it was when I was a child: all women are friends and sisters. With this change my life immediately became very much more joyful (happy), and this new state seemed more natural.
Things became so much easier, because if one of these women whom I consider a friend or sister is judging me, then she will get over it because sisters eventually have to forgive you. If one of these sisters or friends just happens one day to take a larger role in my life, then thanks be to the Lord.
A Statement:
So, when a man is a bachelor there is a certain void in his life which as far as I know is supposed to (designed to) be filled by feminine companionship. The Lord has given me a great patch for this, he sends me to folk dances once a month. At these dances I not only get to meet lots of Christian homeschooled women, but everyone is there to dance and have a good time, not to search out a spouse. So there is nothing at risk, we can just be ourselves as if we were among our own siblings. Of course this doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes look deeply into a lady’s eyes while we are swinging (a swing is a dance move).
An Idea:
Maybe the question you should ask yourself is: “now that this fellow has danced with me and talked with me, how do I wiggle my way into his life so he notices me?”
Maybe this isn’t in line with this topic, I’m not sure but, isn’t a righteous man supposed to be meek?
A Story:
So, maybe this is a little off topic, but I think it might help some people.
For years I asked gals out on dates, I tried various mindsets and tactics, but never had a single success. Eventually I realized how this search for a spouse was making me unhappy. I found that it was difficult and getting more difficult to be around or approach young women because I was always evaluating each one on whether she was the right one for me or not, and I was always feeling like those young women were judging me or evaluating me back. So, I finally gave it all to the Lord, decided to be happy as a bachelor, and changed my thinking back to how it was when I was a child: all women are friends and sisters. With this change my life immediately became very much more joyful (happy), and this new state seemed more natural.
Things became so much easier, because if one of these women whom I consider a friend or sister is judging me, then she will get over it because sisters eventually have to forgive you. If one of these sisters or friends just happens one day to take a larger role in my life, then thanks be to the Lord.
A Statement:
So, when a man is a bachelor there is a certain void in his life which as far as I know is supposed to (designed to) be filled by feminine companionship. The Lord has given me a great patch for this, he sends me to folk dances once a month. At these dances I not only get to meet lots of Christian homeschooled women, but everyone is there to dance and have a good time, not to search out a spouse. So there is nothing at risk, we can just be ourselves as if we were among our own siblings. Of course this doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes look deeply into a lady’s eyes while we are swinging (a swing is a dance move).
An Idea:
Maybe the question you should ask yourself is: “now that this fellow has danced with me and talked with me, how do I wiggle my way into his life so he notices me?”
I'm thinking... maybe I need to pull a Ruth. You know, find out where the guy sleeps, mysteriously appear, and rip the blankets off his feet with one swift "WHOOSH."
I'm guessing that at the very least... He'll remember me.
At least, enough to point me out in the lineup at the police station.
(P.S. Age, no worries. You made a post a while back about your days of fighting guys in dresses being over... wanted to tell you it was a great post and really made me laugh.
)
I'm guessing that at the very least... He'll remember me.
At least, enough to point me out in the lineup at the police station.
(P.S. Age, no worries. You made a post a while back about your days of fighting guys in dresses being over... wanted to tell you it was a great post and really made me laugh.
)
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T
I'm thinking... maybe I need to pull a Ruth. You know, find out where the guy sleeps, mysteriously appear, and rip the blankets off his feet with one swift, "WHOOSH."
I'm guessing that at the very least... He'll remember me.
At least, enough to point me out in the lineup at the police station.
(P.S. Age, no worries. You made a post a while back about your days of fighting guys in dresses being over... wanted to tell you it was a great post and really made me laugh.)
I'm guessing that at the very least... He'll remember me.
At least, enough to point me out in the lineup at the police station.
(P.S. Age, no worries. You made a post a while back about your days of fighting guys in dresses being over... wanted to tell you it was a great post and really made me laugh.
)
I am of the firm belief that there is nothing new under the sun. The outward display of our sin may change through the generations, but the root sin IS THE SAME. Humans struggle with selfishness, greed, control, power, pride and idolatry the SAME WAY they struggled with all of those things a hundred years ago, and a thousand years ago. Only the methods used to gain those ends have changed through the years.
So, you can (and do) often lament about how much better women were 50-100 years ago (or in other cultures), but I believe perhaps their faults and problems back then (or in other cultures) were probably just flying under your particular radar Biscuit, while the faults of women today obviously target your "hot button" issues.
That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one might say, "See this, it is new "? Already it has existed for ages Which were before us.… (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10)
So, you can (and do) often lament about how much better women were 50-100 years ago (or in other cultures), but I believe perhaps their faults and problems back then (or in other cultures) were probably just flying under your particular radar Biscuit, while the faults of women today obviously target your "hot button" issues.
That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one might say, "See this, it is new "? Already it has existed for ages Which were before us.… (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10)
T
Amen! I mean, have you guys seen the TV series "Mad Men"? It's very well done but it definitely shows that the 'good old days' weren't all that innocent. And that was set 50 years ago. I borrowed the Marx Bros autobiography to read as a young adult (as I loved their movies) and I was disgusted to find how sexually-randy and disrespectful towards women these men were. And this was during the 1920s and 1930s! Needless to say, I returned that piece of crap as soon as I could. Humanity is sinful and in need of a Saviour. End of story.