So Just What IS Loneliness, Anyway? (Loneliness Defined.)

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Loneliness... What Is It and When Do You Feel It?

  • I feel lonely when I'm by myself.

    Votes: 7 35.0%
  • I don't feel lonely when I'm by myself.

    Votes: 6 30.0%
  • I feel lonely when I am around other people.

    Votes: 7 35.0%
  • I don't feel lonely when I am around other people.

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • I feel lonely all the time, with or without people. (What would change that?)

    Votes: 4 20.0%
  • I don't feel lonely very often. (What's your secret?)

    Votes: 3 15.0%
  • Loneliness is a situation (such as, being around people vs. being alone.)

    Votes: 2 10.0%
  • Loneliness is a state of mind (feeling lonely no matter what your situation.)

    Votes: 7 35.0%
  • Loneliness is something I can change.

    Votes: 5 25.0%
  • Loneliness is something I have no control over--it's just there, or it isn't.

    Votes: 4 20.0%

  • Total voters
    20
R

RodB65

Guest
#42
I guess my idea of what " loneliness" is has changed with age. There are times when I'm around others that I feel like a loner, and other times when I'm by myself that I don't feel lonely, but content.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#43
For me loneliness seems to be a feeling that your existence does not matter to anybody else and if you did not exist it would not make a difference in anybody else's life.

This would also explain why conspiracy theorists argue so strongly against the idea that the government is not controlling our lives and nobody in Washington DC cares whether we live or die. In their hearts they want to believe the government is paying close attention to them. It helps them not feel so lonely.
I drew the same exact conclusion. I think those who get consumed with the idea of somebody watching them are either partaking in something illegal or socially unacceptable, or who are feeling so alone and yearn to be seen. Nice to know that I am not the only one. I think that is a bonus to why we have our God watching over us, night and day, we are never alone. Plus, when things seem so mysterious in our lives that it seems somebody has to be listening in, almost microscopically honing in, that to me is Him revealing His presence to us.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#44
I guess my idea of what " loneliness" is has changed with age. There are times when I'm around others that I feel like a loner, and other times when I'm by myself that I don't feel lonely, but content.
Uh huh
 

Yama

Junior Member
Feb 19, 2017
37
7
8
#45
Disconnectedness from interpersonal relationships either formal or informal, acquainted or not characterized by sensations of detachment or disinterest as well as isolation and a lack of inclusion. Either self induced, pathological, natural (due to geographic dislocation for example) or imposed. In my opinion it's a chronic lack of interaction with others on a day-to-day or semi regular basis. Human beings are social animals. Some thrive on minimal social interaction, but I do believe we all need to at least feel a part of the bigger society or else quite literally we go mad.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#46
Disconnectedness from interpersonal relationships either formal or informal, acquainted or not characterized by sensations of detachment or disinterest as well as isolation and a lack of inclusion. Either self induced, pathological, natural (due to geographic dislocation for example) or imposed. In my opinion it's a chronic lack of interaction with others on a day-to-day or semi regular basis. Human beings are social animals. Some thrive on minimal social interaction, but I do believe we all need to at least feel a part of the bigger society or else quite literally we go mad.
Clearly, your thinking and way of articulating the process and conclusions are pretty darn impressive, fellow forum dweller.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#50
Disconnectedness from interpersonal relationships either formal or informal, acquainted or not characterized by sensations of detachment or disinterest as well as isolation and a lack of inclusion. Either self induced, pathological, natural (due to geographic dislocation for example) or imposed. In my opinion it's a chronic lack of interaction with others on a day-to-day or semi regular basis. Human beings are social animals. Some thrive on minimal social interaction, but I do believe we all need to at least feel a part of the bigger society or else quite literally we go mad.
For me, people are OK in small amounts. I have limits. Mostly, I tolerate people, but I feel much better relating to someone online. In public, I can only take so much. 👌 Little bits of social interaction is all. Very tiny.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#52
Sometimes people make it hard to like them.
Um my first self centered thought was dang that hurt, lol. Then most of my senses came flooding in as I thought about it, it is so true; all of us, even to ourselves, have unlikable, getting on nerves, moments. So I just wanted to say this about that... BAM, ain't that the truth, lol?!!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#53
Loneliness is having no friends and knowing that no one cares.
One must not convince themselves that this has to be this way. But at lonely times, I confess that I too feed on these kinds of thoughts. Bless our hearts, lol... :D, hugs.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#54
It's the 'no one cares' that hurts the most.
Aweeee, dog gone it. This shows our need and calling to reach out to lonely ppl, showing tender loving care. But wait..:0, not in a creepy mcCreepy, get a restraining order, kinda way, hahaha
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,141
113
#55
Aweeee, dog gone it. This shows our need and calling to reach out to lonely ppl, showing tender loving care. But wait..:0, not in a creepy mcCreepy, get a restraining order, kinda way, hahaha
Just a little creepy, but definitely not protective order creepy.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#57
Just a little creepy, but definitely not protective order creepy.
Your humor is an awesome gift, well received often, lol. I had to use the conditional often to allow for those moments when they go over my head, lol, or when the content is hyper sarcastic, leaving the one on the receiving end a wee wounded, lol. Seriously though, thinks for keeping it witty.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,587
5,229
113
#58
Is this a test to see just how self centered and vain one can be? I was like, who is he talking to. Haha shoot, clearly the cat is out of the bag. I revealed my true colors.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,646
1,942
113
#59
Sometimes people make it hard to like them.
Um my first self centered thought was dang that hurt, lol. Then most of my senses came flooding in as I thought about it, it is so true; all of us, even to ourselves, have unlikable, getting on nerves, moments. So I just wanted to say this about that... BAM, ain't that the truth, lol?!!
I think the general thought is that if we have people in our life, and sometimes even the more people, the better, we won't have any problems with loneliness.

Ironically, one of the biggest things that's helped me over the past few years is to slowly distance myself from one-side relationships. For example, I had a "friend" who called me and literally talked for an hour straight, and not once in that entire time did she ever ask anything about me or my life. After we hung up, I thought about the fact that our entire "friendship" had been pretty much been that way, and so that was a tie I chose to cut off.

I have nothing against people talking, of course--it just has to be a mutual, because I've found that just listening 100% of the time greatly contributes to my loneliness. I've also worked to distance myself from people whose unhealthy actions and/or frames of mind I knew I was actually enabling instead of helping, and I've had much more peace since then.

Yes, it's definitely led to me having far fewer people in my life, but I also feel a bit more clarity and focus.

However, I do struggle with the thought of selfishness, because I know that God calls us to serve, and we often do that best when we are giving to someone who can't, or won't, give back--even in the form of a one-sided conversation.

And yet, I also know that I have limited energy, so trying to find that balance of trying to be there for people, especially when they have nothing to give, and yet taking care of myself enough to be able to do so is always a personal challenge.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,141
113
#60
Is this a test to see just how self centered and vain one can be? I was like, who is he talking to. Haha shoot, clearly the cat is out of the bag. I revealed my true colors.
It's a line from back in the day.
Joey on friends would say it to pretty ladies.
I used it so you would know I was talking to you.