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K
Quote "Yes the topic was virginity and, again, I didn't ask women because I knew that being a woman myself would raise certain opinions and possibly a conflict and wanted the perspective and the point of view from men."
Simple solution,ask men in the open forum to answer your question. If you went to a single youth pastor and asked him about virginity he would ask a female to answer your question or have a lady in the room,if he is worth his salt at all. You dont have to leave just beacuse people are advising you that what you are doing is unwise and not on the up and up.Take the advice and ignore it or listen,up to you.But several people here are direct and if you cannot tolerate that its best to leave.
Does anyone after reading this thread wonder why young people are leaving the church in droves? The OP has a question about a topic that is sensitive enough to her that she doesn't feel comfortable asking anyone around her or even discussing it in public on the internet. Maybe she doesn't consider it appropriate enough for public discussion, but it's really bothering her and she wants a male perspective on it. In short order, people jump all over her in about the rudest way possible assuming the worst about her: that's she either a troll or desirous of the wrong kind of male attention (which does happen on here, but we're almost out of control at assuming everyone new with the slightest questionable anything is a troll). Then the thread degenerates into pages of everyone's self justifications for how we treated her. If this is what Chrisitan support and fellowship looks like, most of us would be better off without it. And I dare say if Jesus were still in his grave, he'd be rolling over in it to see people who claim to have his spirit and attitude behaving in such a way.
Galathea-
Me lastima mucho que has encontrado algunos personas tan antipaticas. Si quieres una amiga que tambien es una virgen o una persona que puede alentarte de seguirlo a Cristo. Puedes mandarme un PM. (Hope my Spanish isn't too rusty but after the welcome you received you deserved an extra special welcome)
Oh and a shout out to the gentlemen who actually responded to the OP and answered her question. We're often reminded of the dangers and how many unsavory sorts there are on the internet, but I just want to say thank you to those of you who are awesome and understanding and the complete opposite of that, who offer ladies hope that there are good men left (and probably a fair number more than the press time they get). I've met far more good guys on CC than I have unsavory pervs and I'm glad to have you around.
Galathea-
Me lastima mucho que has encontrado algunos personas tan antipaticas. Si quieres una amiga que tambien es una virgen o una persona que puede alentarte de seguirlo a Cristo. Puedes mandarme un PM. (Hope my Spanish isn't too rusty but after the welcome you received you deserved an extra special welcome)
Oh and a shout out to the gentlemen who actually responded to the OP and answered her question. We're often reminded of the dangers and how many unsavory sorts there are on the internet, but I just want to say thank you to those of you who are awesome and understanding and the complete opposite of that, who offer ladies hope that there are good men left (and probably a fair number more than the press time they get). I've met far more good guys on CC than I have unsavory pervs and I'm glad to have you around.
Good gravy, everyone here thinks that they need to be the forum police telling other grown adults what they should and shouldn't do. Magenta and blue, with all due respect you majorly hijacked this thread and took it way too far. You could have PMed her with a warning about potentially receiving inappropriate responses instead of blowing this entire thread up. It really did not need to turn into the silly quarreling that took place. It's a really poor and unnecessary way to treat a newcomer as well. I almost feel compelled to warn newcomers not only of "creepers," but of the people who will hijack their threads if they come here seeking someone to talk to. If you have a problem, send a PM to the person or move on to a new thread.
K
Quote "Not the best idea. Anyone can message you. They may not be a Christian at all. Or they may be a Christian but not have good advice and wisdom.... You don't know the reputation or beliefs of this random person.
You're on an anonymous site where no one knows you. Can't imagine it being something so bad that being anonymous isn't enough.
Know who wrote that? It was the first person who answered the OP. It was a man!! Ugly wrote that advice before either woman said a word.Why did you not accuse him of hijacking the thread?! All three were right. A single woman asking intimate questions of men in private she doesn't know is unwise and questionable to say the least.
The OP never asked for anyone's opinion. I will not subject this thread to any more of that debate about the merits of the OP 
Now, let's take a look at the post count in this thread:
Ugly - 1
Magenta & Blue - 52
Ugly didn't continue posting the same thing over and over. It is clear what you and others believe about the OP. If you have a concern, PM the person directly. Let's not continue to hijack this thread. Longstanding members ganging up on a new member based on hasty assumptions is not a kind way of handling things and is questionable to say the least.
It honestly drives me up a wall when people reply to threads telling the OP what they should or should not do when they were not asked for it. This is a forum where single Christians post. People are naturally going to come here seeking to talk to other single Christian members of the opposite sex. People do develop relationships through this site. Who cares if it's not a dating site. Telling people that, or sharing other opinions of yours uninvited, is just downright annoying and unhelpful. It is not up to you to police other adults.
Now, let's take a look at the post count in this thread:
Ugly - 1
Magenta & Blue - 52
Ugly didn't continue posting the same thing over and over. It is clear what you and others believe about the OP. If you have a concern, PM the person directly. Let's not continue to hijack this thread. Longstanding members ganging up on a new member based on hasty assumptions is not a kind way of handling things and is questionable to say the least.
It honestly drives me up a wall when people reply to threads telling the OP what they should or should not do when they were not asked for it. This is a forum where single Christians post. People are naturally going to come here seeking to talk to other single Christian members of the opposite sex. People do develop relationships through this site. Who cares if it's not a dating site. Telling people that, or sharing other opinions of yours uninvited, is just downright annoying and unhelpful. It is not up to you to police other adults.
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K
The OP never asked for anyone's opinion. I will not subject this thread to any more of that debate about the merits of the OP
Now, let's take a look at the post count in this thread:
Ugly - 1
Magenta & Blue - 52
Ugly didn't continue posting the same thing over and over. It is clear what you and others believe about the OP. If you have a concern, PM the person directly. Let's not continue to hijack this thread. Longstanding members ganging up on a new member based on hasty assumptions is not a kind way of handling things and is questionable to say the least.
It honestly drives me up a wall when people reply to threads telling the OP what they should or should not do when they were not asked for it. This is a forum where single Christians post. People are naturally going to come here seeking to talk to other single Christian members of the opposite sex. People do develop relationships through this site. Who cares if it's not a dating site. Telling people that, or sharing other opinions of yours uninvited, is just downright annoying and unhelpful. It is not up to you to police other adults.
Now, let's take a look at the post count in this thread:
Ugly - 1
Magenta & Blue - 52
Ugly didn't continue posting the same thing over and over. It is clear what you and others believe about the OP. If you have a concern, PM the person directly. Let's not continue to hijack this thread. Longstanding members ganging up on a new member based on hasty assumptions is not a kind way of handling things and is questionable to say the least.
It honestly drives me up a wall when people reply to threads telling the OP what they should or should not do when they were not asked for it. This is a forum where single Christians post. People are naturally going to come here seeking to talk to other single Christian members of the opposite sex. People do develop relationships through this site. Who cares if it's not a dating site. Telling people that, or sharing other opinions of yours uninvited, is just downright annoying and unhelpful. It is not up to you to police other adults.
Quote "The OP never asked for anyone's opinion. "
QP -I think I need someone to talk to about this personal thing. Preferably a man....
Quote "Now, let's take a look at the post count in this thread:
Ugly - 1
Magenta & Blue - 52
Thats because no one questioned what Ugly said which was the same thing Lady Blue and Magenta said. How many posts did P. NY make in argument with both ladies.Did you count those? Wonder why...
Quote"Longstanding members ganging up on a new member based on hasty assumptions is not a kind way of handling things and is questionable to say the least. "
No hasty assumptions. Other men here said they were uncomfortable with what the OP was asking. Tourist and I believe Lynx said so. You dont ask a man you dont know questions about sex in a private message and not expect people to question that.The threat isn't hijacked.She didnt want an answer in the thread,she got her answer privately like she wanted. Like Ugly said,no one here knows her,shes anonymous so why did she need a private answer?
Quote "It honestly drives me up a wall when people reply to threads telling the OP what they should or should not do when they were not asked for it. "
Lady Blue was warning her what she was doing was unwise. She wasn't telling her what to do. Nor was Magenta.But in the future ladies I suggest you let women fall prey to whoever is on here.If they get the full Monty its their own fault because they cant seem to tell the difference between someone caring enough to warn them or someone attacking them. So let them find out on their own.
Quote " People are naturally going to come here seeking to talk to other single Christian members of the opposite sex. "
I highly doubt,and I cant speak for them,that Sister Tourist met Brother Tourist by asking him intimate questions about sex,without knowing him the first time she joined the site!!! Honestly are people that naive!?
Quote " Who cares if it's not a dating site. "
So you're suggesting to me that the OP asking questions about virginity to men she does not know straight out the gate is dating. Ok. I have some swamp land,interested?
Quote " Telling people that, or sharing other opinions of yours uninvited, is just downright annoying and unhelpful."
So you're the police of what opinions people are suppose to give on the forum are you? Im sure no one has ever disagreed or thought your opinion was unhelpful.
Quote"It is not up to you to police other adults."
Last time!!! The ladies were warning the OP what she was doing was unwise. Thats not trying to police. They cared enough to warn her. I was backing what the ladies were saying,and Ugly.They were all right. So Lady Blue,Magenta,Ugly if I were you,and I certainly dont mean to "police" you Id let these newbies find out the hard way what can happen when you open yourself up to strangers. Apparently people cant tell the difference between someone caring enough to warn them or being the police and giving unwanted opinions.
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