This is my first post. Only joined a couple days ago. Wish I had the time to write down the details of the road I've been on the last 5 years but its too long.
I'm not a doomsday prep person but a week ago I felt this insistant voice inside my mind just warning me over and over again. I just have this eerie feeling that came and won't go away. Only other time I had that type of insistant voice speaking to me was 4 years ago when I first prayed to god, and I learned very shortly after that the inner voice was not a product of me but some higher power. I thought it just went away once I got on my feet and its purpose was only for the sake of me changing my ways, but I think I have a debt to pay to God and this is sort of the beginning to me paying that debt.
Thing was for the past 4 years I kept praying and asking for having something to be a part of...always asking what God wanted me to do, but there was never really a definite response except what came to my mind as common sense. Basically work and save money. I helped people financially when the opportunity presented itself to me naturally, and sometimes by my own initiative, but I always had this feeling like I wasn't supposed to use it on a house or a car. I'm a truck driver and pretty much love out of the truck and am usually working for about 7 weeks at a time. I mean, I knew that the normal person should desire a house and the normal things in life, and yet their was no inclination or desire to get them. There was almost a repulsiveness towards it, and ironically, you'd think living out of the truck would irritate me but for whatever reason ice found a peaceful contentment regardless. I listened to the radio one day and came across a random station with a man giving a sermon who said, "When you are doing Gods work and on the correct path, God instills peace and passion though others can only see frustration." That always stuck with me.
Well...those are my deep thoughts. Just finished reading Malachi Martins book "Five exorcisms of Contemporary Americans." I suppose that would illicit quite a few more deeper thoughts, but that's better left to my own mind.
- Matt Stone