The Dating Age Range.

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Ive always maintained if you want the perfect age, date your birthday twin.
Then you can both celebrate your birthdays ON THE SAME DAY.
They could even be a few years apart, it wouldnt matter becuase the date would be...your birthday! Party!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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Obligatory xkcd topic-related comic:

dating_pools.png

The full analysis is of course much more complex, but I can't stay to discuss it because I have a date. :cool:
 
Aug 4, 2021
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Really all depends, I guess. Right now, I'm not looking for anyone, although, there is a woman (42) in my ballroom dance class that is older than I (35) that might be interested in me. Good looking, too, and very nice.

Anyway, it depends on their maturity along with other factors. I've met women in their 20s who were more mature than ones in their 30s. However, for the average man, it's hard to find someone close in age. Even trying to find someone younger is tough. A lot of women, especially younger women, are taught that they're entitled to the guys that are 9/10 or 10/10, not even giving a normal guy any sort of a chance. And so many of them are extremely immature. I thought this 23 year old woman, but changed my mind when she was giving more attention to the guys closer in age or simply better looking than me.

That's why it's tempting for me to ask out this older woman. Most of what's holding me back IS age, and not just because of her either. She has two kids in their early 20s, one of them already has kids. So not only she's a single mother, but also a young grandmother. I just don't know if it would be right if I did. The maturity is there, at least from what I'm seeing, but the things I just laid out is giving me all sorts of pause. Her kids and the rest of her family, her friends, MY family and friends, and most importantly, which I'm worried about the most, is even if everyone was okay if we became a couple, would it be a godly relationship? So just keep in mind, yes, maturity is very important, but it needs to be right by God's standards above all else.
I spent 10 years with a lady who was 17 years my senior. She also became a grandmother during that time. It was fine with her kids and parents. I think they were happy for her. My friends and relatives did not like it, and tried to sabotage it. My family never knew, it never came up in talks. Probably knew from overhearing me on the phone with her though. Both she and I were heathens, and she was kind of hedeonistic though, so was not godly. Just great at the time. Never did the familything with being in a shared household, responsibilities, familyevents, etc. As her oldest was 18, and the second oldest was 15, and they didd not need any extradad or their own father much. I was 25 at the time.- Going to meet her later today probably. Will be interesting.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
Ive always maintained if you want the perfect age, date your birthday twin.
Then you can both celebrate your birthdays ON THE SAME DAY.
They could even be a few years apart, it wouldnt matter becuase the date would be...your birthday! Party!
And if you get married on the same day as your mutual birthday... think of all the money you could save! :D
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
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Tennessee
Only in dire emergencies, like when I've only had 4.5 hours of sleep and I gotta get through a whole w*rk day.

Yesterday I went to w*rk and ordered a caramel sundae. I poured it in a large coffee cup and poured coffee over it. I called it a caramel frappuccino. (Frappuccino is that drink for people who claim they like coffee, but really what they like is ice cream.) It is the least objectionable way I have found to consume coffee.

One of the teens saw me doing this and said, "I like the way you think!" I may have started something...
First the kid does the Frappuccino then later espresso, double shots.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
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First the kid does the Frappuccino then later espresso, double shots.
Nah. I only did a double-shot once, in desperation. Nope, nope, never again, nope.

"People wear the number of espresso shots they drink like a badge of honor. You don't just go order a triple espresso until you have proven you can fall asleep after a double shot."
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
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ok weird

but weird when men with children even if they are grown up hit on you.

if its a date its just a date, some people need to go out on dates. They have to get out of the house and have dinner with someone. I would just say go on group dates than just one on one or people may think you trying to be a couple. Theres such a thing as just going out with someone for the fun of it.

People are so serious in here its like 'I kissed dating goodbye because I cant control myself'
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
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69
Tennessee
Nah. I only did a double-shot once, in desperation. Nope, nope, never again, nope.

"People wear the number of espresso shots they drink like a badge of honor. You don't just go order a triple espresso until you have proven you can fall asleep after a double shot."
Actually, I was referring to that teen you mentioned and saying you may have started something. Sees you imbibing on a Frappuccino of sorts and tries one for himself.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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Time is an interesting thing.

So apparently I wrote this thread in 2009? So... Flash forward a couple years.

When I was younger (as in, even in my pre-teens,) older (and we're talking 40's-70's on up) men always hit on me, and I thought it was disgusting.

As I'VE gotten a bit older, something even stranger has happened that I never would have guessed. Now I find myself being asked out by guys who are so much younger than me, I was driving/graduating high school when they were born.

Everyone comes with their own baggage from life experiences, but my situation is a bit different because I don't have kids (let alone grandkids), and my peer group, for whatever reason, is often younger as well. I'm just someone who is trying to find/live out my purpose in life, and I guess a lot of younger people relate to that as well, so we wind up being friends.

I have had a few dates with some of these younger guys, and though they asked if it could turn into something serious, I found myself declining because they really are in their prime of life -- meaning, they are hoping to have families, which, for my own self (both medical and personal reasons,) is something that has already passed me by.

I find myself having no other choice but to encourage them to move on, as I would never want to deny someone a family. I've known a couple of similar situations in which the guy married a woman saying it didn't matter to him if they had kids, but later it DID matter and resulted in him leaving her for someone he thought he could have a family with.

I always wonder why God allows us to meet people with such impossible differences, because the results are often so heart-breaking.

For me, it's usually age (different places in life and wanting completely different things,) and distance (for some reason, everyone I meet that I might be interested in is a zillion miles away.)

Sigh.

Here's to another 12 years passing us by.
 
Aug 28, 2020
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The longer one waits to begin a relationship the more likelihood of baggage. You just have to decide what is truly important and make a decision to either go for it or let it go. That ballroom dance woman scenario seems viable. Since she is a little older she could probably show you a few new moves on the dance floor. Good looking? Nice? Yeah, you might want to give that some thought. What exactly are God's standards? If you strictly listened to Paul you would never get married. Is this woman a Christian or have Christian qualities? God's standard is perfection. If you wait for Ms. Perfect you will spend the rest of your life alone.
That's true, and I don't know where she necessarily stands on faith. But there's a chance I'll be finding out soon. I've been talking to one of the other ladies up at this place, and we are looking at the possibility of getting our group together at a winery where there's music and a dance floor. This older woman is on board, so we'll see what happens.

Anyway, I'm keeping options open, but, in the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy being single. I'm travelling more, been involved with more hobbies, and spending more time with my current and new friends. Figured just keep on moving and be happy.
 
Aug 4, 2021
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I spent 10 years with a lady who was 17 years my senior. She also became a grandmother during that time. It was fine with her kids and parents. I think they were happy for her. My friends and relatives did not like it, and tried to sabotage it. My family never knew, it never came up in talks. Probably knew from overhearing me on the phone with her though. Both she and I were heathens, and she was kind of hedeonistic though, so was not godly. Just great at the time. Never did the familything with being in a shared household, responsibilities, familyevents, etc. As her oldest was 18, and the second oldest was 15, and they didd not need any extradad or their own father much. I was 25 at the time.- Going to meet her later today probably. Will be interesting.
I did meet her today. It was interesting, and not honest at all, because of the past and roles we have played since been estranged. But we had some laughs too. She was 6 cms shorter than when I last saw her. Had to bend my knees to give her a hug now. But she looked happy enough, but not happy. Bit haggered, but that is what partying does to you. She looks good for 60, but she was sad and angry still, as her face told me. And tired. And did not like that I forgave her, and felt only love for her and was at peace, for the first time in my life and live in celibasy for life. Not that she wants anything sinful with me, but do not like that I have become religious and will never live in sin with anybody ever again, which she calls love, or enjoy casual relations on weekends. Called it a limitation of life, not even recognizing the next one, and how it conflicts with it.

A bit true love, bit hate, bit jabs, bit lighearted jabs on the past that we mostly laughed over. Bit real talk, bit talking over how it ended like it did, and how communicationline was ended for 2 years. Why I stopped taking her calls and stopped talking to her. But without honesty, no resolution. I hope she got enough to feel better and do for her, what she feels is best now. Her kids was doing fine, and have given her many grandchildren that she says brings her joy, which was nice to hear. Said she was taking them on a boattrip tomorrow. Said the yougest kid of hers which I did have some part in raising, regarding fun stuff and no responsibilities, who has a special needs kid now, has some issues with health, which made me sad. She is also a single mother now, and that cannot be easy as a single mother.

Will make a new meeting next week sometime. I let her peel some more layers, but she does not want to be honest and talk about why it ended like it did, and want me to return as I was when I left, so none get what they want. Still want me to be what I am not. Easygoing and friend with my former drugdealers, while simultanious saying that drugs was not good for me. Going back to a life I hated. Because it is comfortable to the ones around me, because it is at least known for them, and they can relate to it. Pills and meth is better than religion I guess, for her. Got 9 more days to move it along for her. After that I am gone geographical, and do not really travel much. So it is kind of closure for us theese few days left. Hope she gets what she needs. to move on Pleasently surprised that there were not waiting 5 dudes to beat me up for ignoring her for two years though or calling her out on her wayward life. No fear works. If you did nothing wrong, and fear ill actions from others, just go into it head on. The lord will protect you. .
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
maybe men just have this thing where a woman is permanently supposed to be a certain age.
like a barbie doll.

plastic never truly breaks down right? It just deteriorates into a million fragments or melts.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
Have to remind people that God made men (and women) out of CLAY.
CLAY people! Not plasticine.
 
May 24, 2021
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I had a girl 10.5 years younger than me want to date, but I said no because of the age difference. I regret that decision.

I probably would chase after a girl that much younger than me, but also am not against it. As for older, that's hard. Cause girl's baby making abilities tend to wane at my age. And I want kids.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
I had a girl 10.5 years younger than me want to date, but I said no because of the age difference. I regret that decision.

I probably would chase after a girl that much younger than me, but also am not against it. As for older, that's hard. Cause girl's baby making abilities tend to wane at my age. And I want kids.
what, you cant just adopt?
I thought christians were all into adopting children who need a home. Didnt God adopt YOU?
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
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It isn't wrong. It's natural. Being willing to adopt is something of a specialized spiritual gift like singleness.

It's important to have people who feel led to only have biological children. Otherwise, there would be no new people.

Is it wrong to want biological children?
 
S

SigP226

Guest
My age in half, plus seven is the youngest I would go. Would not date older (preference)
 
May 24, 2021
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It isn't wrong. It's natural. Being willing to adopt is something of a specialized spiritual gift like singleness.

It's important to have people who feel led to only have biological children. Otherwise, there would be no new people.
Right. My response was a rhetorical question to what Lanolin said.