What Christian Men Are Looking For

[meggars]

Yes, you'd still be shallow... It is an individual thing and you'd still be shallow for preferring chubbier guys. The bad thing is that your appearance focused. Why is it bad? Because its bad judgment in choosing someone.

So it is shallow for me to allow attraction to an individual play any role in my choices because its bad judgment to take that into consideration? Wowza....if that was truly the case then thank God for "shallow" people or the human race would have died out long ago and i wouldn't be here...lol. Your mistake is in assuming ALL i care about is getting me a chubby guy and all else is irrelevant. I'm after love, not a fetish Also, it was only an example. I have been attracted to guys of all shapes and sizes for different reasons. I just had to use a specific example.

wjy would i want to date someone who doesnt appeal to me calmador? it makes very little sense. there are plenty of attractive(to me) christian ladies out there.

Exactly. When you have a choice between person A who has all the qualities you want but there's just no attraction and you can't see them as more than a friend....or person B who has all those same qualities but they are attractive to you as well, why would you choose the one you're NOT attracted to? Is that like some kind of relationship self-flagellation?

 

[meggars]

1. No
2. No
3. And No

Having said that, what time should I pick you up for our first date, Meggars? By the way, you're paying for dinner (I forgot to add that as number 4 on my list:

4. I want a Christian woman who will pay for all my grub!!!

"Freely you have received, now freely give to Descyple" (I'm almost positive that is how the verse goes!!!).

I'm free any time. I will be forgetting my purse.

 

[lav]

whew!

one crazy world, and one crazy thread.

 

[Ugly]

I think you went on a tangent off her post. In that particular post she was just saying that men shouldn't put such a heavy importance on looks and consider dating women who are not as attractive as one might think.

I know what her post was. But thanks for chiming in...
But the fact is this is such an dead horse topic on this site i get sick of hearing it. Especially considering how often women are just as guilty. And as another stated before, and i've stated in the past, when women sit and talk about 'hot guys' its ok. When i man says he wants an attractive woman he's shallow. So i'm done listening to women call men shallow for things they're just as guilty of.

 

[Jullianna]

This all reminds me of a "joke" I heard as a kid. It goes like this:

A guy being called as an evangelist was trying to choose a wife who could help him in the way of music ministry. There were two possibilities:

1. One of the ladies was not attractive to him at all, except that she was a gifted musician with a beautiful voice; and
2. An absolutely gorgeous woman with a voice like a foghorn.

He married lady #1.

He woke up one morning many years later, rolled over, looked at his wife and was startled. He grabbed her and shook her awake yelling, "QUICK! SING, BABY! SING!"

Bad taste? Yep...it's kinda like that at this point, huh?

 

[Fenner]

Thanks Tintin.

Why can't I get compliments like that from women???

[video=youtube_share;9D3hZfJ2sqs]http://youtu.be/9D3hZfJ2sqs[/video]




we are all goofy goobers, I hope this compliment helps.

 

[lav]

sorry-

i'm new to this site, and very new to the posts and threads section.

i had no idea stating my thoughts and feelings on what i have been personally disappointed with would create such and uproar. i was merely expressing my relief and appreciation of a list made by a man, which did not include and emphasis on looks.

of course attractiveness is important.

however, if attractiveness based on looks is what you solely seek,

be prepared to be alone, disappointed or divorced... or all three, at some point down the line.

that or just a succession of incredibly short, surface relationships.

 

[Fenner]

I think most relationships start with being attracted to someone physically. What I find beautiful, you may not. Also there are circumstances when you get to know someone you find them more attractive. Like the gal with the sweet attitude and the guy that makes you laugh. Being attracted to someone doesn't make you shallow.

 

[wilc]

The best answer EVER... haah in red highlights !!! Praise Lord . I love you lav in Christ our Lord

gosh, i hope above hope that all this is true.. and that there really are a lot of true Christian men out there, like this... because this is truly who i want to believe i am, and hope to be as a woman in this life. if it were this simple for both sides, things would work out SO much better.



it's REALLY rough for us females, too ! ! !

i'm so tried of the secular world and all it's losing games. ENOUGH.

<3

i mean rough.

i'm so tired of games, from both sides. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONE.

we ALL need God, desperately.

 

[lav]

i agree Fenner

sure it's important, and doesn't make you automatically shallow . . .

things we don't notice at first sometimes, though, can turn out to be important qualities- just as you stated.

and sometimes things that seem dazzling from the first meeting, end up empty and hollow



it may seem i am in contradiction to what i was first very emphatic in,
but i'm really not.
i just openly disagree with the over-emphasis wold culture can place on youth/outside/surface beauty,
it just feels like an overdose sometimes. that's all

 

[lav]

those initially charming attributes can fade rather quickly, when one discovers what is actually under the surface,

sometimes-
not always.

 

[lav]

it's rather intimidating to post here

especially considering we only have 5 minutes to edit with all the grammatical errors and typos

 

[rachelsedge]

Okay, so I know the topic isn't "girls picking out clothes for guys" and vice versa, but I just gotta say...

I think it'd be totally fun to go to a thrift store and have different theme outfits to pick out. "Craziest blue outfit", "Silliest gangster outfit", "Interview outfit", things like that. I could pick out my own or pick out each other's and see who can get the most creative. Try them on, have a mini fashion show. Laugh.

The staff would probably get annoyed with us (but we'd still be courteous and kind, putting the clothes back and not being obnoxious) but...still sounds fun to me.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread programming (whatever that may be at this point).

 

[lav]

yes,


i'm a nerd with slight ocd and i will be quiet now.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I think the OP had it right. Thanks, Donkeyfish.

I really don't think this is so complicated. My parents taught my brother and I from a young age that physical attraction is part of the process of finding a spouse. It is an early indicator of *potential* compatibility. After that, it is compatible personalities and values that further draw people together, and finally, the mutual desire to love and serve the Lord together and individually is what contains, strengthens, and protects the entire relationship.

Additionally, my dad always taught my brother that a woman will change over time. She's not always going to look the way she did at 25, and that's okay. As long as her relationship with the Lord is nurtured and thriving, over time she will become more beautiful and attractive in other, more important ways.

You marry someone for who they are as a person and as a child of God. But one of the many ways spouses are supposed to delight in one another is physically. Hello, Song of Solomon, anyone? Ladies, can you imagine the pain of knowing that your husband loves you for who you are but when it comes to your outward appearance he finds NOTHING about you attractive? We ought not strive to meet some hollywood standard of beauty, or even try to impress men with our outward appearances, but there is nothing wrong with a man hoping that his future bride will be attractive in his own eyes.

Anyway, thanks again for your initial post, Donkeyfish. I think you mentioned all the most important things. I hope and pray that my younger brother keeps those types of criteria at the forefront as he gets older and starts thinking about marriage.

 

[Fenner]

it's rather intimidating to post here

especially considering we only have 5 minutes to edit with all the grammatical errors and typos

I know what you mean. Don't worry about it though, and don't be afraid to express your opinion.

 

[Richie_2uk]

What am I looking for? Hmmmmm thinking! a Good thread to discuss on.

 

[FireWire]

Women are just as much into looks as men are. I don't know why this topic keeps popping up every so often. I've had it from both sides of the coin. Fact is, women will go for the good looking guy first over less finer looking guys.

 

[Calmador]

So it is shallow for me to allow attraction to an individual play any role in my choices because its bad judgment to take that into consideration? Wowza....if that was truly the case then thank God for "shallow" people or the human race would have died out long ago and i wouldn't be here...lol. Your mistake is in assuming ALL i care about is getting me a chubby guy and all else is irrelevant. I'm after love, not a fetish Also, it was only an example. I have been attracted to guys of all shapes and sizes for different reasons. I just had to use a specific example.

QUOTE]

Yes its shallow to allow PHYSICAL attraction to play a role in your choices. Attraction can be physical or based on the inner person your considering.

It sounds like you think physical attraction is the only thing that exists and that's why you think the human race is alive. That's not true because people can be attracted to others... without being physically attracted to them.

I'm not assuming all you care about is physical attraction. I'm assuming your shallow based on caring about the exterior.

My point that its ideal for you and all of us in our Christian community to look at ourselves as God see's us... just our souls. It benefits us. Forget the exterior and focus on a Godly heart... we'll all be much better off.

I'll leave room for except and say perhaps there is a way to value the exterior but then that gives you and everyone 2 choices...

Value the exterior to some extent and let that have some weight in your choice...

Or let that person's heart and inner self be the only weight in your choice...

I think its clear which one is wiser. And which choice will just give you an unnecessary bullet point to keep in mind. Also, this will expand your pool of potential people you'd be able to date. I think its wise.

 

[Calmador]

I know what her post was. But thanks for chiming in...
But the fact is this is such an dead horse topic on this site i get sick of hearing it. Especially considering how often women are just as guilty. And as another stated before, and i've stated in the past, when women sit and talk about 'hot guys' its ok. When i man says he wants an attractive woman he's shallow. So i'm done listening to women call men shallow for things they're just as guilty of.

Well, I think its better if we don't compare things to the person next (man or woman) to us. Instead, compare it with God. The problem with looking at women (or men) to live up to what they say is an obvious problem. Men and women are going to fail to live up to any standard in general.

So, it doesn't surprise me hypocritical women exist.

That doesn't excuse the idea of weighing in physical beauty so much... or (IMO) anything at all.

The scriptures is clear how WE all should (or even absolutely) lean towards when it comes to appearance vs inner beauty.

[h=3]Proverbs 31:30[/h]

[SUP]30 [/SUP]Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

[h=3]1 Samuel 16:7[/h]

[SUP]7 [/SUP]But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”


John 7:24
Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”