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Look, I can't make you do anything. I really can't. I'm just saying what I'm saying more so for our own good as a Christian community. I can tell you its better to emphasis a Godly Character and its true. You can take that with you and work on that because I know its tough to overlook a gorgoues woman in general but think long term and I think you can see then benefits in that.
Like I responded to someone earlier... You would like a woman that is Godly. You would like a woman that reads scripture and has both wisdom and instruction on her lips. You would like a woman who wakes up in the middle of the night to make sure the kids are okay and hell even ask you if you want a cup of tea. You would like a woman who looks after the household needs, diligently. You would like a woman you can trust when your not at home and at work, not to commit adultary, not to spend the family's money wastefully.. etc etc... This is in the spirit of the Proverbs 31 woman. If you've never read it, here it is, all for your benefit.
Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV - Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character - Bible Gateway
And nowhere does it mention that she is a physically beautiful woman. Actually, the passage practically ends by giveing a warning about beauty instead...
[SUP]30 [/SUP]Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
So, can you look for an attractive looking Christian woman. Yes you can. But, it would be better for if you to have the priority of going for the woman with Godly character... whether she's physically attractive or not. Character being the dominant thing to look for.
Personally, I don't see a middle ground. When we bring up physical beauty to a man... I think its reasonable to say that most men will go one way or another generally, high emphasis on looks or resistant to it so you won't be sucked into its possible trap. I'm speaking generally, most men are better off closing thier eyes because its a tough obstacle to go around. I've tried and I can't do it myself. If you can look at a woman and not put her looks as one of the top things. Awesome, good for you.. your one of the rare. But, when all is said and done... and we're RRReally on the same page on putting. You'd end up next to me and choose a woman with a Godly character instead................ rrrrrright?
On the other hand, it really really.... really isn't easy. And in that I understand where your coming from, I feel what you feel. The very least I can expect is that you agree in thoery... the practice part. I know that can be tough and maybe it'll take time in God's presence to change us to be able to practice it better. I know I can't fully practice, 100% of the time it. But, I know the thoery is scripture supported and good.
Bonus point: Beauty can imprison you into a slave like state if you don't watch yourself.... woman's beauty would be the master and you would be her slave. I know I've felt like a tool before.
Like I responded to someone earlier... You would like a woman that is Godly. You would like a woman that reads scripture and has both wisdom and instruction on her lips. You would like a woman who wakes up in the middle of the night to make sure the kids are okay and hell even ask you if you want a cup of tea. You would like a woman who looks after the household needs, diligently. You would like a woman you can trust when your not at home and at work, not to commit adultary, not to spend the family's money wastefully.. etc etc... This is in the spirit of the Proverbs 31 woman. If you've never read it, here it is, all for your benefit.
Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV - Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character - Bible Gateway
And nowhere does it mention that she is a physically beautiful woman. Actually, the passage practically ends by giveing a warning about beauty instead...
[SUP]30 [/SUP]Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
So, can you look for an attractive looking Christian woman. Yes you can. But, it would be better for if you to have the priority of going for the woman with Godly character... whether she's physically attractive or not. Character being the dominant thing to look for.
Personally, I don't see a middle ground. When we bring up physical beauty to a man... I think its reasonable to say that most men will go one way or another generally, high emphasis on looks or resistant to it so you won't be sucked into its possible trap. I'm speaking generally, most men are better off closing thier eyes because its a tough obstacle to go around. I've tried and I can't do it myself. If you can look at a woman and not put her looks as one of the top things. Awesome, good for you.. your one of the rare. But, when all is said and done... and we're RRReally on the same page on putting. You'd end up next to me and choose a woman with a Godly character instead................ rrrrrright?
On the other hand, it really really.... really isn't easy. And in that I understand where your coming from, I feel what you feel. The very least I can expect is that you agree in thoery... the practice part. I know that can be tough and maybe it'll take time in God's presence to change us to be able to practice it better. I know I can't fully practice, 100% of the time it. But, I know the thoery is scripture supported and good.
Bonus point: Beauty can imprison you into a slave like state if you don't watch yourself.... woman's beauty would be the master and you would be her slave. I know I've felt like a tool before.
U
So it's been 8 pages and men still don't agree on what they want. And they say we are the complicated ones 
Is it really so hard to conclude that both Christian men and women would like a spiritual mate that they are also attracted to ? That isn't sinful. We both want the same thing... someone we enjoy being around and looking at who shares your faith and values. At least that's what I concluded from all the comments .
A
I agree with this wholeheartedly. But it may also indicate why there are so many Christian singles, and why Christians are marrying much later. The generations before us would meet and marry by their 19th year; and now it's perfectly acceptable to marry at 30?!
A change for the worse, or the better? Can this be progress?
A change for the worse, or the better? Can this be progress?
In my opinion... I'm glad I didn't get married at 19 like I wanted to. I feel now like I would have had a hard time back then cause I wasn't as mature as I thought I was. The years have taught me many things like watch others examples and learn from their mistakes. I'm not saying I won't make any in my future , but I have learned a few things to avoid .
A
... m'kay, I get you. But I don't think that anyone that marries at 19 or even 20 is as mature as they think they are haha. But they have something very desirable, in that they have the privilege of maturing with someone they love, and they get to know more about loving one another. And every mistake, for that loving couple, serves only as a step towards greater love and companionship.
But yeah, I see what you're saying.
But yeah, I see what you're saying.
I agree with your last paragraph. I'd also like to point out that the passage can also be translated as being about the 'beautiful' woman, as opposed to the noble woman. In Hebrew thought, 'yapheh' can have to do with more than outward beauty. This passage describes a woman who is beautiful-- she is diligent and does her husband good.
There are passages that seem to talk about physical beauty in a positive light. Rebecca was beautiful. It's a blessing to be good looking. I agree that it's better to focus on character, but in some cases a man can't help but want a woman he finds physically attractive. The Bible does make some statements that allow for marrying someone beautiful, like the passage about marrying the captive woman. My understanding is that it is likely talking about physical beauty. It's from the perspective of the man marrying her. People are attracted to different types of women. My wife is gorgeous, and most people seem to agree, but I had one fellow American friend when we were dating who didn't seem to think so because her skin was a shade darker than what he was attracted to. His wife was Chinese. Mine is from another Asian people-group. He didn't try to discourage our relationship, but was rather supportive by the way.
Especially in our culture where people choose their own spouses and looks are so emphasized, is it wise to marry someone when there is no physical attraction? I mean, if you are going to make babies together, you'll want to like the other person's looks. You've got to wake up to each other's faces for life. We age, but at least you can enjoy each other's looks while you are young (for those who are) and gradually ease into looking at an older face over time as the relationship grows.
There are passages that seem to talk about physical beauty in a positive light. Rebecca was beautiful. It's a blessing to be good looking. I agree that it's better to focus on character, but in some cases a man can't help but want a woman he finds physically attractive. The Bible does make some statements that allow for marrying someone beautiful, like the passage about marrying the captive woman. My understanding is that it is likely talking about physical beauty. It's from the perspective of the man marrying her. People are attracted to different types of women. My wife is gorgeous, and most people seem to agree, but I had one fellow American friend when we were dating who didn't seem to think so because her skin was a shade darker than what he was attracted to. His wife was Chinese. Mine is from another Asian people-group. He didn't try to discourage our relationship, but was rather supportive by the way.
Especially in our culture where people choose their own spouses and looks are so emphasized, is it wise to marry someone when there is no physical attraction? I mean, if you are going to make babies together, you'll want to like the other person's looks. You've got to wake up to each other's faces for life. We age, but at least you can enjoy each other's looks while you are young (for those who are) and gradually ease into looking at an older face over time as the relationship grows.
When I was dating, I was looking for a certain body-type, or a range, that included that she be slender, rather than her attitude about her body. I was talking to a friend of mine while dating who liked to read psychology magazines. He said men were usually attracted to men like their mothers. He was talking about someone he was doing business who kept making cracks to him about this employee of his who was slightly hefty. But he sensed the man doing this was actually attracted to her. Since she didn't look like the model type, maybe he was embarrassed to let on that he was attracted. He was pretty good at reading people, and that was his interpretation of the situation. A lot of men had heavy mothers growing up. That was their idea of what femininity is. So while the media promotes slender models as the ideal of beauty, they like heavier women. If men were all about looks an d every man only went for the swim suit model type, only swim suit models would marry, but that's not how it is in real life.
Some men like fiesty women. Some men like demure women. Men may be attracted to personality. Of course, women have diverse interests when it comes to attraction. I think most men take looks or charm into the equation when choosing someone to date or marry. I don't think it's wrong to marry someone you are attracted to. But the Bible does warn that beauty is fleeting and charm is deceitful. So men should consciously choose to look for a woman who fears the Lord. Women should also beware of marrying based solely on looks and charm.
Some men like fiesty women. Some men like demure women. Men may be attracted to personality. Of course, women have diverse interests when it comes to attraction. I think most men take looks or charm into the equation when choosing someone to date or marry. I don't think it's wrong to marry someone you are attracted to. But the Bible does warn that beauty is fleeting and charm is deceitful. So men should consciously choose to look for a woman who fears the Lord. Women should also beware of marrying based solely on looks and charm.
