What we see in ourselves and the way we see ourselves is not often the way others see us.
This reminds me of something that I heard a man say just about 2 or so months ago.
He was recounting something that had transpired in his life many years earlier. Apparently, he was at some sort of "Leadership Seminar" where they had everyone partake in an exercise. Everyone present was handed a sheet of paper with 100 different adjectives on it, and they were instructed to circle the adjectives which best described the image that they sought to portray to others or the adjectives which best described who they thought themselves to be.
After everyone had circled the adjectives which they felt best described themselves, everyone was given more of the same sheet of paper and instructed to circle the adjectives which they felt best described what they saw in the other people who were seated at their tables. The results were pretty shocking in that basically nobody was seen by others in the same manner in which they saw themselves.
I used to have a certain female friend. She and I first encountered each other on a different Christian forum many years ago, and she and I became online friends. She was married, so it was never anything but a platonic relationship. Anyhow, we bounced around together from forum to forum or from different Christian website to different Christian website for approximately 11 years. There was a troubling aspect to our "friendship", though. She used to call me "Grizz", as in short for grizzly bear, and I never shared my love for grizzly bears with her or anybody else at that time, nor did I use a profile picture like the one that I'm presently using. When I asked her why she called me "Grizz", she told me "You have teeth". In other words, she saw me, at least to an extent, as someone who might devour her in some sort of harmful way.
In fairness to her, I kind of understood what she meant. We were both on forums that were "Christian" by name, but they basically hated everything related to Christ imaginable. If you think that the "BDF" here is a war zone, then I'll tell you plainly that it's a kid's playground when compared to some of the other forums I've/we've (she and I) been on. I tried to explain to her that she was only seeing me in a very specific light or in a very limited type of environment. In other words, she was only seeing me and how I behaved in a war zone. She was ex-Military, but she still wasn't convinced.
Well, after about 11 years of only interacting with each other via PM's and emails (aside from our public interactions on the forums), she and I actually began speaking to each other on the phone. It wasn't unusual for us to talk for 3 or 3 1/2 hours at a time. Anyhow, when we got out of that specific "war zone" type of environment, then, and only then, did she begin to see me for who I actually am.
My point?
Everybody here has opinions of each other, but, truth be told, they're limited in scope. I don't really know you, and you don't really know me.
At my end, my focus is primarily upward...especially when it comes to women.
God knows me, and he's no stranger to beating the stuffing out of me when need be.
I talk a lot about marriage and how it was ordained of God to reflect the spiritual union between Christ and his church, and God knows that those are more than just words for me. It's highly probable that I'll be single for the rest of my life, and that kind of pains me. I do know how beautiful a bond there can be between a man and a woman, and it's hard to just let that go...especially when I'm firmly convinced that no such bond will ever again be available on the other side of eternity.
Anyhow, it is what it is.