Where's the Line Between Being Available, Desperate, and a Stalker?

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Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#42
(towards the end of a conversation)

Being available - hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometime?

Being desperate - hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometime? (after the other person agrees) Shall we go out now?

Being stalker - hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometime? (after the other person agrees)
That's wonderful! I've made a reservation for us at 4pm tomorrow at XYZ cafe, where you like to have the Cafe Mocha with lots of whipped cream, along with chocolate chip cookies. I figured that 4pm would work for you because it takes you one hour to commute from office, and it's 2 hours before you go to the dinner party hosted by Sally tomorrow.
 

spunkycat08

Senior Member
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#43
(towards the end of a conversation)

Being available - hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometime?

Being desperate - hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometime? (after the other person agrees) Shall we go out now?

Being stalker - hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometime? (after the other person agrees)
That's wonderful! I've made a reservation for us at 4pm tomorrow at XYZ cafe, where you like to have the Cafe Mocha with lots of whipped cream, along with chocolate chip cookies. I figured that 4pm would work for you because it takes you one hour to commute from office, and it's 2 hours before you go to the dinner party hosted by Sally tomorrow.
Ideally what should happen after asking "hey, would you like to hang out and grab a cup of coffee sometimes?" is putting the ball in the other parties court. Be patient and wait for what happens next.
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#44
Basically that line (stalker) can be controversial, as to whether the other person is as interested in you as you are them.

I can remember when someone like that wasn't considered a "stalker". As with other things in modern "society", the word has been taken to maximum horizons for no good purpose.

The word used to be used to refer to someone who was preying on someone to possibly rob, hurt or cause harm in someone's life.

what about the shy teen who is watching his crush but hasn't quite worked up the courage to ask her out...used to be kind of cute, or gross if the girl didn't like him. Now he'd be a "Stalker". No wonder our world is messed up...
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#45
Available: yes I would love to have coffee with you
Desperate: (after the first date) yes I will marry you
Stalker: (after the first date) lets move in now
 
C

coby

Guest
#46
Available: yes I would love to have coffee with you
Desperate: (after the first date) yes I will marry you
Stalker: (after the first date) lets move in now
Lol a guy I dated asked that after one date and I said yes immediately. Next day he dumped me hahahahahahaha.
 

PopClick

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
138
63
#47
I am available, desperate, AND a stalker.

Wait, huh?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#50
Sure I'll throw my thoughts in here. For me the difference between available and desperate usually boils down to does it feel like a person's interest is in me personally or is it more of an "any relationship will do I just need a relationship" vibe. And the other aspect would be time boundaries, clingy or jealous of my other friends and activities looks desperate at best and stalkerish will this person respect my wishes if we get even closer at worst.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#52
so who should I stalk?
I'm voting that Wise should become the Forum Troll Hunter... stalking and taking down any trolls that appear here in Singles.

If nothing else, it would definitely up the interest factor by a couple hundred points.

(I forget that at times I like to do a little trolling myself... D'oh.)
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#53
I'm voting that Wise should become the Forum Troll Hunter... stalking and taking down any trolls that appear here in Singles.

If nothing else, it would definitely up the interest factor by a couple hundred points.

(I forget that at times I like to do a little trolling myself... D'oh.)
problem is, I use first strike nuclear attack.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#54
problem is, I use first strike nuclear attack.
That definitely takes the fun out of watching the ping pong ball go back and forth a few times.

Maybe we could let them carry on for about 3 posts and then at least give them a warning: "Behave, Troll, or we're going to unleash The Wise on you."
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#55
Lol a guy I dated asked that after one date and I said yes immediately. Next day he dumped me hahahahahahaha.


...but seriously, what would you have done if he got all excited and pulled out a ring?!
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#56
Available


Desperate


Stalker
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#57
How to be a stalker vvv
[video=youtube;McemALNXVsk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McemALNXVsk[/video]
[That being said, he wrote this for his wife before they were even dating... and she still dated him... and then married him... *shrugs*]

"Every second of the day... I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE."


 
C

coby

Guest
#58


...but seriously, what would you have done if he got all excited and pulled out a ring?!
Hmm good question, maybe my brains would have returned then by the shock, you never know.