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Youre talking to the wrong guys, then. There are pleany of guys who are equally prude.
Im sinlge cuz.... its kinda difficult to explain. There are several reasons why, Id say.
I do have some social anxiety, I do get nervous around people I dont know all that well, and I struggle to talk when around them. I even have this problem at work, when people want to have a conversation with me, I generally look away from them, and struggle to think of things to say. And when I do try to talk I forget words and studder over what Im trying to say sometimes. Its not really that horrible, but at times it can be difficult. There are a few people who I actually really do just naturally click with, like at work there was this 50 year old Catholic lady that I just felt really comfortable with, and we could just talk about anything. I had no problems with her at all. But that rarely happens : p
My mother lives with me, and I am currently her sole provider. Shes in a lot of pain and cant work that much anymore, and shes not married, and our father left us when I was very young. None of my siblings are willing to help her, so Ive kinda fallen into the role of her provider : p Im certainly not angry about it, she does need help, and I dont have children or anything. But Im well aware that any women I meet are not gonna be interested in a guy who takes care of his mother, so I think this will set me back in that part of life a bit : p
Am hoping that one day they will give her the disability she needs to live.
Im..... I guess picky about whatever girl Id end up with. I have my own issues I deal with everyday. And there are alot of earthly things that I just dont like or enjoy being around. Im not gonna go on about what they are here, but many girls often like these things, and I just dont wanna be around some of that kinda stuff.
I think Id do really well with a girl whos like me, one who comes from a similar life that I did. And one who feels the same way I do about stuff, and neither of us would ever have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with the other : p I mean we both have to agree with the other (as in who we are, having to fit as two people) and feel comfortable together.
Im not really all that upset about being single, though. I mean, having that special bond feels really great, yeah. But Im mostly just worried about having peace of mind and having my needs met, haha : p That would be a really nice thing to have in life, too, yeah. But I can live a fine life without ever having that, as long as I have loving friends or family, warm shelter, clean clothes, and food and water : p
But dunno, maybe one day Ill find a girl I really click with and feel like Id want to be around all the time : p Its happened before, actually, so I totally have faith that it /could/ happen again : p
because having to limit yourself to single never married christians within about a 5 year age gap literally narrows it down to like 1% of the population
I would have been married a long time ago if I had not had to limit my dating pool to christians, I can see the problems of unequal yoking but to have singleness as the only other option doesn't seem fair
I would have been married a long time ago if I had not had to limit my dating pool to christians, I can see the problems of unequal yoking but to have singleness as the only other option doesn't seem fair
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Because when a guy at church approaches me, I kindly respond to their introduction and give them my name, I kindly answer their question about what I do for a living, I give a general outline of what I do and why I do it... AND THEN I RUN FOR MY LIFE.
Then the next time we run in to each other, I answer how my week went, I briefly bring up the weather... AND THEN I RUN AGAIN.
But it's completely a fear based thing. These men are fine and kind, it's just that every now and then my conversations with God go like this, "Jesus, we're doing good, I love this time with you, I know you're trying to work on this fear thing in my life but hey, isn't it great that we can work on this together while I'm not in a relationship? Great, awesome."
Then the next time we run in to each other, I answer how my week went, I briefly bring up the weather... AND THEN I RUN AGAIN.
But it's completely a fear based thing. These men are fine and kind, it's just that every now and then my conversations with God go like this, "Jesus, we're doing good, I love this time with you, I know you're trying to work on this fear thing in my life but hey, isn't it great that we can work on this together while I'm not in a relationship? Great, awesome."
I was actually thinking about this thread at work.
It's funny because I started out being VERY unwillingly single. Back in the day, I wanted nothing more than to get married and have a family.
The peculiar thing is that as time passed... God seemed to introduce me to a lot of married people who are extremely unhappy and a lot of single people who are extremely content, and suddenly, being single didn't seem quite so bad.
A married person in a bad situation has little choice but to stay and try to make a best of it, all while hoping for a miracle. I'm not saying that marriage is all doom and gloom, I'm just saying that I know a lot of married people who have found themselves in very unhappy scenarios, and the Bible says (in most cases), that you still need to honor your commitment and stay. Someone once told me, "Marriage wasn't meant to make you happy. It's meant to make you holy."
One thing about single life is that at least you know there is a POSSIBILITY that your situation might change someday. A bad marriage might change as well but I've found that for me, it's much easier to find peace (which is priceless) as a single than to constantly try to repair a bad relationship.
I'm single because loneliness (my primary motivation for relationships in the past) doesn't bother me as much as it used to, and because I'm not nearly as good at putting up with drama as I used to be. I will work my very hardest to be there for a friend, no matter what they're going through, but now I'm a lot less willing to take on an unstable situation (crazy relatives, addictive habits that are destructive, etc.) on a permanent basis.
It's funny because I started out being VERY unwillingly single. Back in the day, I wanted nothing more than to get married and have a family.
The peculiar thing is that as time passed... God seemed to introduce me to a lot of married people who are extremely unhappy and a lot of single people who are extremely content, and suddenly, being single didn't seem quite so bad.
A married person in a bad situation has little choice but to stay and try to make a best of it, all while hoping for a miracle. I'm not saying that marriage is all doom and gloom, I'm just saying that I know a lot of married people who have found themselves in very unhappy scenarios, and the Bible says (in most cases), that you still need to honor your commitment and stay. Someone once told me, "Marriage wasn't meant to make you happy. It's meant to make you holy."
One thing about single life is that at least you know there is a POSSIBILITY that your situation might change someday. A bad marriage might change as well but I've found that for me, it's much easier to find peace (which is priceless) as a single than to constantly try to repair a bad relationship.
I'm single because loneliness (my primary motivation for relationships in the past) doesn't bother me as much as it used to, and because I'm not nearly as good at putting up with drama as I used to be. I will work my very hardest to be there for a friend, no matter what they're going through, but now I'm a lot less willing to take on an unstable situation (crazy relatives, addictive habits that are destructive, etc.) on a permanent basis.
C
Yes!!! That's it!!!
I was married... and it ended not of my own choice... he decided he wanted out! But we didn't have a good relationship... It was always a struggle...
Just yesterday I was talking about it with my therapist, and she asked me why I hadn't started dating again... and I was like... After all that's happened to me, I don't really feel like allowing myself to go through something similar again... so I will only let a guy get closer to me if I see that the relationship will be worth it...
Relationships are hard... they require care and work and selflessness... and I am willing to give it all if he is a good guy, if I feel the Lord's hand on it...
I guess that's the real reason... and, as it seems, all the good ones are taken, are too young or are in a different country... so... I'll stick with my cats!! hehehehehe
I was married... and it ended not of my own choice... he decided he wanted out! But we didn't have a good relationship... It was always a struggle...
Just yesterday I was talking about it with my therapist, and she asked me why I hadn't started dating again... and I was like... After all that's happened to me, I don't really feel like allowing myself to go through something similar again... so I will only let a guy get closer to me if I see that the relationship will be worth it...
Relationships are hard... they require care and work and selflessness... and I am willing to give it all if he is a good guy, if I feel the Lord's hand on it...
I guess that's the real reason... and, as it seems, all the good ones are taken, are too young or are in a different country... so... I'll stick with my cats!! hehehehehe
I admit ..fear of pain, makes it much easier to be single 
Man... my last relationship was so complicated ...I spent so many hours on my face before the Lord. Just not sure its worth the risk?
Man... my last relationship was so complicated ...I spent so many hours on my face before the Lord. Just not sure its worth the risk?
It's also something a lot of us can relate to.
I know I sure can!
I'm enjoying spending my time with God on more productive things than asking God to fix me, someone else, or a relationship that's sinking in the water!
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G
There are many reasons I am single. The first reason is I haven't found a man that loves God with all his heart that was made for me. The second reason is I take things slow and need time to feel comfortable and trust. Many people try to rush into relationships. Third is my job is really demanding and I do work a lot. This is off putting to some people. Finally I'm pretty stubborn. I'm not used to people doing things for me so that takes some getting used to and a very patient and understanding man lol. I'm praying that God not only shows me who I'm supposed to be with but also molds me into the person I need to be as I know I have flaws as well.
I never understood putting the reason on anyone, but me. Like, I would never say I'm single, because God hasn't told me to be in a relationship, or that my family didn't approve, etc. If I want to date, I will. If it's not the right time, I won't. Anything else just sounds like an excuse or a crutch to me. That's just how I approach and see it, so yeah.
The reason I am at the moment is simply because I want to be. I've been in a relationship for most of the last five years, so I'm enjoying doing my own thing.
The reason I am at the moment is simply because I want to be. I've been in a relationship for most of the last five years, so I'm enjoying doing my own thing.
