Why won't guys make a move?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,384
3,833
113
#61
So, JulesMarie... welcome to the forum. Sorry about the mess we have made of your thread. Sometimes it gets like that here.

Usually though, if you stick with a thread long enough, the foofarah will die down and get back to the original topic.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,183
1,798
113
#62
Seeing how this member has been married and widowed twice I would say that she is definitely capable of waiting for the one and being content at the same time. I would not say however that she has magic powers but rather that she is able to multi-task. I don't know her all that well but based on her posts and forum decorum I would say that she has not wasted her life sitting around but very much engaged and energized.
I see you, also, chose to ignore my wording and instead replaced it with something if your own choice.
If you go back and read the context in which I was speaking you will find I Clearly was talking about people being overly focused on getting married to the point that they are miserable until the time they are married, or at least dating. Thus wasting their life and creating pain for themselves by viewing singleness as something that holds them back and keeps them from being happy.
I'd say that's quite a large distinction from one that wants to marry, yet learns to be content until/if it ever happens.
I'm certain no one here thinks would think making yourself miserable and not going out and living life, due to singleness, is very distinctively different than being a content single. Yet a few don't seem to be able to discern the difference.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,384
3,833
113
#63
I see you, also, chose to ignore my wording and instead replaced it with something if your own choice.
If you go back and read the context in which I was speaking you will find I Clearly was talking about people being overly focused on getting married to the point that they are miserable until the time they are married, or at least dating. Thus wasting their life and creating pain for themselves by viewing singleness as something that holds them back and keeps them from being happy.
I'd say that's quite a large distinction from one that wants to marry, yet learns to be content until/if it ever happens.
I'm certain no one here thinks would think making yourself miserable and not going out and living life, due to singleness, is very distinctively different than being a content single. Yet a few don't seem to be able to discern the difference.



"But there are seven billion people in the world! I can't possibly stop to consider how ALL of them might interpret something!"

"Ah, yes, there's no middle ground between 'taking personal responsibility for the thoughts and feelings of every single person on Earth' and 'covering your eyes and ears and yelling logically correct statements into the void.' That's a very insightful point."
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,384
3,833
113
#64
Quote from Randall Monroe: Anybody who says he is great at communicating but "people are bad at listening" is confused about how communication works.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,789
10,712
113
65
Florida
#66
I see you, also, chose to ignore my wording and instead replaced it with something if your own choice.
If you go back and read the context in which I was speaking you will find I Clearly was talking about people being overly focused on getting married to the point that they are miserable until the time they are married, or at least dating. Thus wasting their life and creating pain for themselves by viewing singleness as something that holds them back and keeps them from being happy.
I'd say that's quite a large distinction from one that wants to marry, yet learns to be content until/if it ever happens.
I'm certain no one here thinks would think making yourself miserable and not going out and living life, due to singleness, is very distinctively different than being a content single. Yet a few don't seem to be able to discern the difference.
Apparently not. My bad.
 

Brandon123

Active member
May 15, 2019
163
91
28
#68
It may be the #Metoo witch hunt that woman have started..

They have established that an unwanted male approach to a woman is a form of abuse..

Now when does a guy find out that his approach a woman is unwanted???

Think for a minute......

Answer:: That's right... AFTER He makes an approach..

But he finds out too late because he has already broken the Law.. He has already made an unwanted approach and thus the woman can make the claim she has been traumatized by a guy who had made an unwanted approach to her..

Guy then is crucified.. Loses His job,, gets dispelled from University,, Ends up in court on an abuse charge, where he is deemed guilty unless he can prove himself innocent ( Note the modern dogma,, We must always believe the female victim ) So the presumption of innocence until proven guilty that has been the basis of western civilization for centuries has been overturned by feminist activists.. Men are presumed guilty unless they can prove themselves innocent these days..

So why would a young guy of today approach a woman? Maybe if he is reckless and likes the excitement of the danger of playing Russian roulette he will take the chance.. But if he is a wise young man he will avoid approaching woman..
I couldn’t agree more..My dad said something to me recently about the subject..it was “these are dangerous times.”..and it was in reference to that same thing..I’ve taken it to heart and feel that same way..it’s rediculous...why would anyone take the chance anymore?
 

Brandon123

Active member
May 15, 2019
163
91
28
#69
Well we are in Christian Chat. Many of the users here have said they are part of it or support it. I was saying that you can’t be both.

To the OP: if a guy really really likes you, he will make a move. If he doesn’t it means he’s not that into you. Focus on having a fulfilling life without men. Take care of your appearance too. Do your nails or whatever makes you feel good. That good feeling will show and men will find that attractive.
Many men that would be available at this point are afraid that they are going to be accused of being inappropriate and have their lives and or careers ruined because someone can’t tell the difference between a man trying to meet someone and a man that’s out there to hurt someone.... I totally understand the metoo movement ... but it’s gone so far left that many men feel it’s not wise to approach anyone any more...I’m sure that may sound rediculous but it’s true...a guys career and reputation can be ruined in a heartbeat over having done absolutely nothing inappropriate..I think as women..you should take that into consideration also..
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,021
5,749
113
#70
Many men that would be available at this point are afraid that they are going to be accused of being inappropriate and have their lives and or careers ruined because someone can’t tell the difference between a man trying to meet someone and a man that’s out there to hurt someone.... I totally understand the metoo movement ... but it’s gone so far left that many men feel it’s not wise to approach anyone any more...I’m sure that may sound rediculous but it’s true...a guys career and reputation can be ruined in a heartbeat over having done absolutely nothing inappropriate..I think as women..you should take that into consideration also..
I don't think men need to be fearful about approaching a woman, that could be a trick of the enemy too in keeping men from meeting women.
The media has turned this issue into a big deal bc of a few out-of-line celebs. If a Christian guy likes a Christian girl, or vice-versa, starting a casual conversation shouldn't be cause for alarm. Or how is anyone going to start a relationship.
So proceed w/caution, lol.
 
Aug 2, 2009
23,341
3,082
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#71
I don't think men need to be fearful about approaching a woman, that could be a trick of the enemy too in keeping men from meeting women.
.
I think it is. And I think the enemy is doing a stellar job of it too! The US now has the lowest birth rate ever, since they started recording the birth rate in 1987.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-births-hit-lowest-number-since-1987-1526529661

I remember back as recently as the 90's little children and babies were everywhere. Now I hardly see little kids anywhere and I rarely see anyone with a baby.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,021
5,749
113
#72
I think it is. And I think the enemy is doing a stellar job of it too! The US now has the lowest birth rate ever, since they started recording the birth rate in 1987.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-births-hit-lowest-number-since-1987-1526529661

I remember back as recently as the 90's little children and babies were everywhere. Now I hardly see little kids anywhere and I rarely see anyone with a baby.
That's what I was thinking could happen, I hope the Church says something re this.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,982
1,002
113
Philippines Age 40
#73
Because most men, like Adam are slackers by nature. Men are supposed to be hunters, leaders and initiatiors. I don't know what happened to other men, maybe marriage is not for them.

Marriage is a gift, but it's not for everyone.
 

Brandon123

Active member
May 15, 2019
163
91
28
#74
I don't think men need to be fearful about approaching a woman, that could be a trick of the enemy too in keeping men from meeting women.
The media has turned this issue into a big deal bc of a few out-of-line celebs. If a Christian guy likes a Christian girl, or vice-versa, starting a casual conversation shouldn't be cause for alarm. Or how is anyone going to start a relationship.
So proceed w/caution, lol.
I don't think men need to be fearful about approaching a woman, that could be a trick of the enemy too in keeping men from meeting women.
The media has turned this issue into a big deal bc of a few out-of-line celebs. If a Christian guy likes a Christian girl, or vice-versa, starting a casual conversation shouldn't be cause for alarm. Or how is anyone going to start a relationship.
So proceed w/caution, lol.
I hear you🙂 I hope that in Christian circles we can keep ourselves from being swayed by all of that...I’ve found also that women command the respect of men when they live godly lives...so there’s a great deal of strength there...and many of the men that women want...in a bit of an ideal sense...are very attracted to and respect immensely those women that keep themselves for marriage no one is perfect but if your on that road already I can tell you...if you want to marry and know that that’s Gods will for your life ... you will find or be found by the one your looking for. 🙂👍
 
Aug 2, 2009
23,341
3,082
113
#75
Because most men, like Adam are slackers by nature. Men are supposed to be hunters, leaders and initiatiors. I don't know what happened to other men, maybe marriage is not for them.

Marriage is a gift, but it's not for everyone.
Wait, Adam was a slacker? lol
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
570
486
63
#77
Many men that would be available at this point are afraid that they are going to be accused of being inappropriate and have their lives and or careers ruined because someone can’t tell the difference between a man trying to meet someone and a man that’s out there to hurt someone.... I totally understand the metoo movement ... but it’s gone so far left that many men feel it’s not wise to approach anyone any more...I’m sure that may sound rediculous but it’s true...a guys career and reputation can be ruined in a heartbeat over having done absolutely nothing inappropriate..I think as women..you should take that into consideration also..
Sounds like an excuse to me.
Not a good one.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
12,645
5,628
113
#78
Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out?
Since I'm not single, I'm not sure I should be responding (and I generally don't for the Singles section).

However, your thread title was interesting. The fundamental fact is that men and women -- by definition -- cannot be "just friends" and leave it at that. So if you want just friends make friends with the ladies, but if you want a serious relationship (and have a guy ask you out) then get serious about love and marriage.
 

Rexlee

New member
May 22, 2019
1
0
1
#79
There is nothing God can not do..the devil is not happy seeing the children of God settle down in life and destiny..