Why won't guys make a move?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,358
3,029
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#41
I believe the answer is found in Genesis 2:24. You added in the bracketed words as a caveat. I do believe all people should be married, however that doesn't mean that all will. And that's their decision. Such is the nature of our post-modern society.
You believe ALL people should be married? How do you justify that against 1 Corinthians chapter 7?

Also you place all the blame on the people who don't get married, because they chose not to? There are TONS of people I know who would marry if they could, but have not yet found anybody who was not a turd. Are you saying they should marry the wrong person rather than being single?
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
244
318
63
#42
You believe ALL people should be married? How do you justify that against 1 Corinthians chapter 7?

Also you place all the blame on the people who don't get married, because they chose not to? There are TONS of people I know who would marry if they could, but have not yet found anybody who was not a turd. Are you saying they should marry the wrong person rather than being single?
Well that's a nice misinterpretation of the tone of the message... anyway. Marriage isn't a Biblical requirement. But it is a Biblical recommendation. I'm not married so far be it from me to tell people whether they should or shouldn't be married. You make it sound like I am giving my opinion (my thoughts are what I believe scripture says, so take that for what it's worth). I suggest you read the whole of the argument before choosing one specific section of what I wrote. People can many who they want or if they want. There's no condemnation for those who choose not to get married. But my own thoughts on the matter are that they should prepare accordingly so that they are in the optimal position to be a godly spouse should such events occur.
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
244
318
63
#43
You believe ALL people should be married? How do you justify that against 1 Corinthians chapter 7?

Also you place all the blame on the people who don't get married, because they chose not to? There are TONS of people I know who would marry if they could, but have not yet found anybody who was not a turd. Are you saying they should marry the wrong person rather than being single?
Also, I am not really interested in getting involved in a Bible study here... but... reading the whole of 1 Corinthians 7 in context would seem to indicate a different meaning to the one you ascribed to it - that not one should be married. Rather I think it refers to the desire that Paul expressed that everyone should focus on the gift that was given to them. In this context, it seems as if Paul is saying some people have the "gift" (I use the term advisedly) of marriage. In that case, everyone should focus on what is edifying both to themselves and the body of Christ.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,358
3,029
113
#44
Um... that directly contradicts what you said before. You believe all people should be married, but it's not a biblical requirement and you're not married and you don't think you should be telling people they should be married.

Now I'm confused.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,514
8,015
113
65
Florida
#45
Well that's a nice misinterpretation of the tone of the message... anyway. Marriage isn't a Biblical requirement. But it is a Biblical recommendation. I'm not married so far be it from me to tell people whether they should or shouldn't be married. You make it sound like I am giving my opinion (my thoughts are what I believe scripture says, so take that for what it's worth). I suggest you read the whole of the argument before choosing one specific section of what I wrote. People can many who they want or if they want. There's no condemnation for those who choose not to get married. But my own thoughts on the matter are that they should prepare accordingly so that they are in the optimal position to be a godly spouse should such events occur.
Not sure how you reached the conclusion about the biblical recommendation for marriage as it seems that, based on the opinion of Paul, there is a biblical bias against marriage. You are correct though in stating about preparing accordingly if one is inclined towards and desires to one day be married.
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
244
318
63
#46
Um... that directly contradicts what you said before. You believe all people should be married, but it's not a biblical requirement and you're not married and you don't think you should be telling people they should be married.

Now I'm confused.
You've confused my use of the word "should". When I said people "should" be married, I am talking about the Biblical recommendation for marriage as laid out at the beginning of creation. Not a legal or Biblical requirement. "Requirement" is not the same as "recommendation". While I believe it is healthy for people to be in a relationship, it doesn't mean that everyone can or will be in such a position.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,078
1,786
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#47
I believe the answer is found in Genesis 2:24.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

_______

You seem to be in error.

Maybe I am wrong but you seem to look at choosing marriage as superior to choosing to not marry.


The bible never says such a thing.


One is not greater than the other, we are not Adam and Eve and have no need to populate the earth.

If you believe God wants all to marry it is your own opinion not found in scripture.


Marriage is a wonderful blessing, it really is.

Being chaste for our Father is also an equally wondeful blessing.



Matthew 19:12

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
______

1 cor 7
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

_______

Nothing out of context, no added opinions.

(unless of course I misunderstand your point that marriage is in any way better in Gods eyes than remaining chaste for Him in this day and age)
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
244
318
63
#48
Not sure how you reached the conclusion about the biblical recommendation for marriage as it seems that, based on the opinion of Paul, there is a biblical bias against marriage. You are correct though in stating about preparing accordingly if one is inclined towards and desires to one day be married.
My opinion on Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7 I think is affected by the context in which he said those words. While I can see why people would use that to justify the fact that there is a bias against marriage, I think that their opinion to interpret it that way. Anyways, I need to get back to work so I will have to continue this discussion at a later point.
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
244
318
63
#49
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

_______

You seem to be in error.

Maybe I am wrong but you seem to look at choosing marriage as superior to choosing to not marry.


The bible never says such a thing.


One is not greater than the other, we are not Adam and Eve and have no need to populate the earth.

If you believe God wants all to marry it is your own opinion not found in scripture.


Marriage is a wonderful blessing, it really is.

Being chaste for our Father is also an equally wondeful blessing.



Matthew 19:12

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
______

1 cor 7
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

_______

Nothing out of context, no added opinions.

(unless of course I misunderstand your point that marriage is in any way better in Gods eyes than remaining chaste for Him in this day and age)
I don't really have time to address all of what you said as I am about to head out the door. I will choose to focus on the last point you made, regarding the nature of both marriage and singleness. As I've stated, I believe a Biblical model is given to us in Genesis. If people want to ignore that, more power to you. Neither is "wrong", but marriage is "God honoring". Can't really state any more than that. If anyone wishes to address this point with me, that may do so personally.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,078
1,786
113
#50
I don't really have time to address all of what you said as I am about to head out the door. I will choose to focus on the last point you made, regarding the nature of both marriage and singleness. As I've stated, I believe a Biblical model is given to us in Genesis. If people want to ignore that, more power to you. Neither is "wrong", but marriage is "God honoring". Can't really state any more than that. If anyone wishes to address this point with me, that may do so personally.
Being chaste for God is equally God honoring, your opinions look down on others and elevate those blessed with marriage.... it is wrong....

You ought to look at all of Gods word in context and not lay your head on an individual verse.


Neither is better if done for the love of our Heavenly Father.


God bless you
Have a safe day at work
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,358
3,029
113
#51
I don't really have time to address all of what you said as I am about to head out the door. I will choose to focus on the last point you made, regarding the nature of both marriage and singleness. As I've stated, I believe a Biblical model is given to us in Genesis. If people want to ignore that, more power to you. Neither is "wrong", but marriage is "God honoring". Can't really state any more than that. If anyone wishes to address this point with me, that may do so personally.
It seems being single is even MORE "God honoring."

I Corinthians 7:32-35
32 But I would have you to be free from cares. He that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 but he that is married is careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and is divided. So also the woman that is unmarried and the virgin is careful for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married is careful for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is seemly, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
1,927
541
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#52
I think Jesus said that it is based upon the individual in Matthew 19. ...Not everyone will be married and not everyone can live a single life...If your able to stay single then it's good if not then it is good to marry....That lines up with what Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7 as well... That's just my view on that scripture anyhow.

10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
 
Mar 21, 2019
487
163
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#53
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
He needs to know that you would consider him as a potential boyfriend. Look at Boaz and Ruth. Boaz thought he was too old for Ruth, and as a result, didn't try to pursue her. It wasn't until Naomi sent Ruth to lie at his feet one night, that he realised that Ruth was available to him. Then he moved quickly.

Give the one you like best a wink. Or tell him you like hanging out with him. Or give him some sign that you are available. Otherwise, he may fear ruining a friendship for the sake of expressing interest in you.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
12,379
6,525
113
#54
Well... this got ugly even without my help.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,078
1,786
113
#56
I think Jesus said that it is based upon the individual in Matthew 19. ...Not everyone will be married and not everyone can live a single life...If your able to stay single then it's good if not then it is good to marry....That lines up with what Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7 as well... That's just my view on that scripture anyhow.

10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

spot on
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
2,293
1,374
113
Texas
#57
Young men dont make a move because of fear of rejection which grew out of a lot of painful experiences.
Some don't make a move because not only fear of rejection but also fear of reprisal, that they will be accused of some misdeed.
Mostly it is that our society has a warped out of balance approach to intersex relationships. Mgtow is a direct response to the situation even though it is not a solution.
If you want to have the type of relationship that will lead to marriage and family as such. Get to know these guys personally one on one access their spiritual values by going to church, Bible study, prayer meetings and the likes with them. Hang out after those events with them and talk to them about their life and interests. Engage the relationship without the emotions or physical stuff. Let the relationship develope naturally over time by investing time in the individual.
I have been married 23 years and would normally not come to this forum, but I saw the question and wanted to offer help from the experience side.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,236
1,270
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#58
Marriage is not somehow more important than singleness. However there are areas of completeness and spiritual completeness that one can only reach when one is in union with someone of the opposite sex. It's an option which is available to all, but only some choose that path. That doesn't make their decision wrong or attempt to raise those up on a pedestal who have chosen to be wed. Marriage is both a blessing and a curse in many respects. It provides some of the greatest blessings but it also requires the greatest sacrifice. In order to experience the fullness of what God has for you, you can choose to tie yourself to someone who shares the same spiritual heart. While the Biblical requirement doesn't say ALL should be married (those in ministry or positions of responsibility may wish to consider their options in this regard), it is a RECOMMENDATION for those who burn with lust and all who would seek to enter into a different level of spiritual maturity, as it were. For me personally, identifying my weaknesses before attempting to get involved with someone of the opposite sex seems like a wise choice. It's laying the groundwork as it were (not saying that that automatically leads to marriage). It's called being prepared in case such an eventuality may occur.
I think I'm more astounded that you can't see how much you're talking out of both sides of your mouth than by any position you're supporting on marriage vs singleness.

To summarize what you literally just said
Marriage is not more important or better than singleness BUT:
There are areas of completeness that you can only reach when married
You have to be married in order to experience the fullness of what God has for you
Marriage lets you enter a different (presumably higher) level of spiritual maturity

I'd respect you more if you were brutally honest ( with both yourself and us) about the fact that every statement you make about marriage indicates you really do think marriage is better than singleness and something that everyone who wants to be fully obedient to God's will would pursue rather than talking out of both sides of your mouth. I'd still disagree with your opinions and conclusions just as much, but I'd respect you more for having a consistent position and the courage to stick to it in the face of opposition.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,597
1,337
113
#59
Wasting time isn't on my calendar and yes I have power 'over all the works of the enemy'. I'm glad your content in what you like, God bless.
You should be a politician. You spoke, but didn't say anything or address the issue.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
19,406
7,591
113
54
#60
My wife still jokes sometimes that she had to make the first move on me towards beginning a relationship. I was a little shy at first and did not want to blow it, but once she took a step forward, the rest was history. I made the next 100 moves! We have been together now for 30 years! :giggle: