Why won't guys make a move?

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TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,020
5,749
113
#21
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?
If you don't miss your bf of 7 yrs, I guess there was nothing memorable about it. Be wise not impatient, it sounds you could jump into it with just anyone. It's important to be a Godly woman and seek God for Holy Spirit guidance, God bless.
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#22
MGTOW is stupid!!! For men going their own way, they sure do talk about women A LOT! Lol I go to their reddit sometimes and just laugh at all the ridiculous stuff men post there.
If you are a Christian then you should be going God’s way and not your own way. I’m not saying you should get married. I have a little brother and I know exactly what is going on with young men. It’s not fair. But MGTOW is extremely toxic. The most awful thing is that they believe in something called AWALT. All Women Are Like That. No sweetie, not all women are the same. Some of us have the Holy Spirit in us and we love God and want to obey him.
If you are a MGTOW and believe AWALT, then I don’t think you’re really a Christian.

They should rename it as MSTOW. Men Sent Their Own Way...because most of those men are bitter because their wives left them. They didn’t really choose that path themselves.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,020
5,749
113
#23
MGTOW is stupid!!! For men going their own way, they sure do talk about women A LOT! Lol I go to their reddit sometimes and just laugh at all the ridiculous stuff men post there.
If you are a Christian then you should be going God’s way and not your own way. I’m not saying you should get married. I have a little brother and I know exactly what is going on with young men. It’s not fair. But MGTOW is extremely toxic. The most awful thing is that they believe in something called AWALT. All Women Are Like That. No sweetie, not all women are the same. Some of us have the Holy Spirit in us and we love God and want to obey him.
If you are a MGTOW and believe AWALT, then I don’t think you’re really a Christian.

They should rename it as MSTOW. Men Sent Their Own Way...because most of those men are bitter because their wives left them. They didn’t really choose that path themselves.
Exactly, mstow sounds like an anti-marriage almost gay thing. They need to start a site 'MSGGW' men should go God's way, lol.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
15,148
8,226
113
#24
Y'all need to stop thinking that MGTOW has anything to do with Christianity. It isn't a Christian movement, so judging it like it were one is misguided.

Lest this discussion turn unpleasant, I'm going to leave it there.
 

Susanna

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2013
5,070
1,481
113
#25
Exactly, mstow sounds like an anti-marriage almost gay thing. They need to start a site 'MSGGW' men should go God's way, lol.
I’ll start one myself: LSLWCOFT - Lone Star Lady Went Crazy Over Forum Thread.

😊
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#26
Y'all need to stop thinking that MGTOW has anything to do with Christianity. It isn't a Christian movement, so judging it like it were one is misguided.

Lest this discussion turn unpleasant, I'm going to leave it there.
Well we are in Christian Chat. Many of the users here have said they are part of it or support it. I was saying that you can’t be both.

To the OP: if a guy really really likes you, he will make a move. If he doesn’t it means he’s not that into you. Focus on having a fulfilling life without men. Take care of your appearance too. Do your nails or whatever makes you feel good. That good feeling will show and men will find that attractive.
 
May 16, 2019
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#27
or maybe your to damn hot ,and they think your way out of their leauge,hahah but who no...
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,183
1,798
113
#28
Singleness is not preparation for marriage. That is a myth perpetuates by the church to suggest marriage is superior and more godly than singleness. Paul, the guy who wrote most of the NT would disagree.
Marriage is not a promise at all. I'm 43, never married, no prospects. Best thing you can do is stop waiting around and live your life.
So many Christian's waste their lives sitting around waiting for "the one" and put Themselves through a lot of emotional pain. And if they do ever meet someone 50% divorce.
So stop being indoctrinated by the false gospel of marriage pushes by the church, learn to be content where you're at and go enjoy the life you have, rather than wish you had a different life.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,020
5,749
113
#29
Singleness is not preparation for marriage. That is a myth perpetuates by the church to suggest marriage is superior and more godly than singleness. Paul, the guy who wrote most of the NT would disagree.
Marriage is not a promise at all. I'm 43, never married, no prospects. Best thing you can do is stop waiting around and live your life.
So many Christian's waste their lives sitting around waiting for "the one" and put Themselves through a lot of emotional pain. And if they do ever meet someone 50% divorce.u
So stop being indoctrinated by the false gospel of marriage pushes by the church, learn to be content where you're at and go enjoy the life you have, rather than wish you had a different life.
We're able to multi-task, do both.
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
570
486
63
#30
We're able to multi-task, do both.
I was just thinking the same thing when I read your post TRC.

I do want to marry again. Mine didn't end in divorce. I do miss it. Marriage is a blessing. So is being single. I have been able to do things being single that I wasn't able to do being married.

I am going to live my life, aspiring to live according to God's word, but I am going to be keeping my eyes open and my ears perked for a mate.

Anyway...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,384
3,833
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#31
Oh and MGTOW men have assessed the changes that have happened in western culture and Laws dealing with relationships, marriage and divorce and have decided that marriage to modern western feminist cultured woman, combined with a Legal system that favours the interests of divorced woman over that of the man means it is way to dangerous to their emotional and material well being.. They have decided to avoid marriage and seek another path in life..
Adstar I have no idea what happened in your past to make you hate all women. Maybe you were rejected by a lady. Maybe a woman took advantage of you somehow. I have no idea because you have never told us.

But do you REALLY have to take a big crap all over people's threads, just because you hate women? Really?

You sound a lot like the feminists I know. Your song is pro-male instead of pro-female, but the music is just the same. The only difference between what you spew and feminism is the reversal of genders.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,110
2,303
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#33
why don't guys approach? well... each guy has his own reasons.

i say, live life! see where the Lord leads. pick up hobbies. form friendships. volunteer. serve. travel. study. we have fullness of life in Jesus!
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,020
5,749
113
#34
You're able to waste your life sitting around waiting for the one and be content at the same time? You must have magic powers.
Wasting time isn't on my calendar and yes I have power 'over all the works of the enemy'. I'm glad your content in what you like, God bless.
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
264
342
63
#35
Singleness is not preparation for marriage. That is a myth perpetuates by the church to suggest marriage is superior and more godly than singleness. Paul, the guy who wrote most of the NT would disagree.
Marriage is not a promise at all. I'm 43, never married, no prospects. Best thing you can do is stop waiting around and live your life.
So many Christian's waste their lives sitting around waiting for "the one" and put Themselves through a lot of emotional pain. And if they do ever meet someone 50% divorce.
So stop being indoctrinated by the false gospel of marriage pushes by the church, learn to be content where you're at and go enjoy the life you have, rather than wish you had a different life.
I believe God's plan is that people are married (even if it doesn't always work out for some). We were made for relationship. And while no-one suggests that marriage is superior, the years of waiting for someone to come into your life can be fruitfully employed to work on your own weaknesses in order to prepare you for who God has for you, or the life God has for you. If you don't believe that self improvement can take place in an individual's life and that we're all just here living from day to day and moment to moment, well then there is nothing I can do for you.

Marriage is not the ultimate goal of life. However, I would rather work on being the best version of myself so that I can sow into someone else's life so if that does happen, I can be who God wants me to be for them.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,450
1,525
113
#36
I believe God's plan is that people are married (even if it doesn't always work out for some). We were made for relationship. And while no-one suggests that marriage is superior, the years of waiting for someone to come into your life can be fruitfully employed to work on your own weaknesses in order to prepare you for who God has for you, or the life God has for you. If you don't believe that self improvement can take place in an individual's life and that we're all just here living from day to day and moment to moment, well then there is nothing I can do for you.

Marriage is not the ultimate goal of life. However, I would rather work on being the best version of myself so that I can sow into someone else's life so if that does happen, I can be who God wants me to be for them.
How old are you now? How do you think you views and practice might change if / when you reach 50 or 60 and you haven't been married? I have no objections to the idea of you should be growing and improving, but do object to the idea that the motivation for that should be primarily to benefit your future spouse.

What evidence do you have for this belief that God's plan is that people ( all people?) get married? And what does such a belief say to those of us who are single other than being single is somehow outside of God's plan and something that needs to be remedied? We've kind of already started this debate over in the singles conferences thread where several of us older singles take the position that to tie preparation specifically to singleness is to demean singleness as a somehow not good enough, less than marriage position. God will be continually working on us whether single or married, but to say that singleness is for preparation implies that you can't stop preparing for whatever it is your being prepared for until you are no longer single. (And with the number of marriage books and conferences and counseling services there are, seems like a lot of people put off the preparing for marriage until after they're married).
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
3,807
2,823
113
#37
Hello Internet!

I am a young girl of 20. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years a while back and haven't missed him one bit. That being said, I long to talk with someone and have a bit of a deep relationship. I want to have a person to be able to share anything with. Why do I do I have so many guy friends, but not one has asked me out? I have been told that a few of them have crushes on me, but nothing happens. I know I am a bit impatient. Any advise? Answers?[/QU
Because if they asked you out they are scared that the next stage would be relationship and commitment and at that age that is the last thing on their minds.
 

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2018
264
342
63
#38
How old are you now? How do you think you views and practice might change if / when you reach 50 or 60 and you haven't been married? I have no objections to the idea of you should be growing and improving, but do object to the idea that the motivation for that should be primarily to benefit your future spouse.
Been thinking about this issue a lot. You speak of the hypothetical situation as if it were actually true. I could be married by then. I could not. I have no way of knowing what I might think or feel when I reach that age. If I reach that age. I have no wish to engage in personal dialogue of that nature. I think you speak from the perspective (and others) of someone who has a hardened or cynical view of marriage. Which you're entitled to by the way. I am not going to attempt to justify why I see the need for preparation for marriage as important. It's a significant issue that is also deeply personal to each individual. Marriage is not somehow more important than singleness. However there are areas of completeness and spiritual completeness that one can only reach when one is in union with someone of the opposite sex. It's an option which is available to all, but only some choose that path. That doesn't make their decision wrong or attempt to raise those up on a pedestal who have chosen to be wed. Marriage is both a blessing and a curse in many respects. It provides some of the greatest blessings but it also requires the greatest sacrifice. In order to experience the fullness of what God has for you, you can choose to tie yourself to someone who shares the same spiritual heart. While the Biblical requirement doesn't say ALL should be married (those in ministry or positions of responsibility may wish to consider their options in this regard), it is a RECOMMENDATION for those who burn with lust and all who would seek to enter into a different level of spiritual maturity, as it were. For me personally, identifying my weaknesses before attempting to get involved with someone of the opposite sex seems like a wise choice. It's laying the groundwork as it were (not saying that that automatically leads to marriage). It's called being prepared in case such an eventuality may occur.

What evidence do you have for this belief that God's plan is that people ( all people?) get married?
I believe the answer is found in Genesis 2:24. You added in the bracketed words as a caveat. I do believe all people should be married, however that doesn't mean that all will. And that's their decision. Such is the nature of our post-modern society.
 
May 1, 2019
1,336
744
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#39
Good Morning,

JulesMarie188 might be blessed to have an opportunity to rest from a relationship with another man and focus on her relationship with God.

Matthew 6:33 NIV But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

It is wise to learn how to be happily alone with God and yourself. If you can find that place then any relationship will be healthier and not out of fear.

As far as MGTOW, the entire movement was created and is maintained by foces bent on disrupting healthy, happy, normal and Godly relations between a man and a woman. Not only is the adversary destroying godly relationships through divorce, he is trying desperately to prevent them from ever happening.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,785
10,711
113
65
Florida
#40
You're able to waste your life sitting around waiting for the one and be content at the same time? You must have magic powers.
Seeing how this member has been married and widowed twice I would say that she is definitely capable of waiting for the one and being content at the same time. I would not say however that she has magic powers but rather that she is able to multi-task. I don't know her all that well but based on her posts and forum decorum I would say that she has not wasted her life sitting around but very much engaged and energized.