I never want children so men don't want me

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Apr 17, 2018
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#1
Basically I'm 31 and I'm overweight. I'm 200lbs and dieting. My problem is I never want children. I don't have the patience for them or anything. So my weight and lack of wanting kids it's basically the reason no man wants me. It's heartbreaking. My last (abusive) relationship was 3 years ago and I haven't had a relationship or date since then. Any advice?
 

Stranger36147

Senior Member
Jun 13, 2015
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#2
You're not alone. I don't want kids either. So if I ever find a woman that wants to be with me, (doubtful, but if by some small chance I do) she'll hopefully feel the same way I do.


Hope everything goes well for you and you end up meeting the man of your dreams one day.


Take it easy. :)
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
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#3
Hmm. My former best friend was overweight. And didn't want kids. Yet was married. Twice. Even with mental disorders and a very rough past.
My last two gf's were overweight and didn't want kids. Oh and already had kids. Because single moms get lots of dates too. One of them has since married, despite being an overweight single mother that didn't want more kids. Oh, did I mention she and her son both had mental disorders? And that her sons father is a constant pest that's always out to a screw her life up. And was extremely abusive when they were together.
So what were you saying about being overweight and not wanting kids means no man wants you?
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
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#5
To the OP:

As far as I know, the two people who responded to you are not trolls; they are well-established members.

And I think they have both tried to encourage you. :D
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
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#8
I would say don't believe the lies the enemy is telling you. Alot of men don't want kids and if someone doesn't want to be with you because of weight issues are they really the sort of person you want to be with.
 

Homewardbound

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2018
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#9
As a man, I didn't (don't) want children either. Because of the way I was raised, I didn't want to take the chance of a kid going through what I did.
I actually found a lady that didn't want kids either, and we are both happy.
Please don't let the fact you feel you are overweight keep you from a relationship. There are guys out there who don't want children and would go for having a relationship with you...
I am praying for you Sis!!
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,857
1,706
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#10
Basically I'm 31 and I'm overweight. I'm 200lbs and dieting. My problem is I never want children. I don't have the patience for them or anything. So my weight and lack of wanting kids it's basically the reason no man wants me. It's heartbreaking. My last (abusive) relationship was 3 years ago and I haven't had a relationship or date since then. Any advice?
Condition you mind into accepting being single for the rest of your life.. And make sure you take a very responsible attitude to your finances because you will have to have enough money saved to get you through retirement..
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
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Texas
#11
Sorry but this just doesn't make sense.
Why bother with trying to find a husband or wife if you don't want a family? If I didn't want to have a family I would be single to this day.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#12
I know the feeling. I’ve spoken to men before who were semi interested in me (or at least interacted) and as soon as I mentioned that I didn’t want kids the conversation was pretty much done.

It’s hard because there are so many emotions in that. There’s anger because you feel like your self worth to that person is only in your ability to bear kids, guilty because yes God gave you the ability to have kids and you’re not, and also sadness because they didn’t even give you a chance. It’s rough.

And Loco it does. Some people are ready to have a marriage relationship, but not children. Either because of mental and/or emotional immaturity or something else.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#13
Basically I'm 31 and I'm overweight. I'm 200lbs and dieting. My problem is I never want children. I don't have the patience for them or anything. So my weight and lack of wanting kids it's basically the reason no man wants me. It's heartbreaking. My last (abusive) relationship was 3 years ago and I haven't had a relationship or date since then. Any advice?
The thing is, there are a lot of age appropriate guys that don't want kids either so for them that would be a plus. 200 lbs is not that heavy and besides that you're addressing that by dieting. In my first marriage the X was abusive too so I get what you are coming from. Not all guys are like that though.

My counsel is to allow God to work through you and for Him to seek and find a loving and faithful man that will accept you for the person that you are. Also, and I'm sure that you probably know this, never date a man that you wouldn't consider marrying. You really don't want any man to want you, only the man that will love you with all his heart. He's out there, somewhere.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#14
Why bother with a man, if you don't want a family?
There are a lot of reasons, for both myself and my wife it was for companionship. It's a good feeling driving home after a hard days work knowing my honey is there waiting for me. There is also the romantic physical intimacy that can only be found in a loving and enduring marriage. There are financial aspects to consider as well.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#15
Sorry but this just doesn't make sense.
Why bother with trying to find a husband or wife if you don't want a family? If I didn't want to have a family I would be single to this day.
Kids are expensive, time consuming, energy draining and will probably break your heart one day.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#16
Before hubby and I got married, we were both on the same page about children. As I mentioned before, some men want children. Some don’t.
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
2,081
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#17
Basically I'm 31 and I'm overweight. I'm 200lbs and dieting. My problem is I never want children. I don't have the patience for them or anything. So my weight and lack of wanting kids it's basically the reason no man wants me. It's heartbreaking. My last (abusive) relationship was 3 years ago and I haven't had a relationship or date since then. Any advice?
I doubt the weight has anything to do with it nither the not wanting kids thing. Keep trying :)
 
Feb 2, 2019
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#18
People just want different things in life, you just need to find somebody going the same place as you, and there are plenty! Above all don't lose sight of God, keep the main thing the main thing. Prayer is a powerful weapon, a free one too!

It's important to be cautious of the enemy as well, he will use this chance to sow seeds of resentment, anger, frustration, doubt and low self-esteem. Look at it less as men turning you down for not wanting kids, and more so you both realising you want different things in life. I'm sure they find it difficult to turn you down over this, just as you feel awful with them turning you down.

I know as someone who really wants kids how difficult it would be to turn down someone who I enjoyed the company of and knew knows Jesus. However, God has put a family in my heart, and unless he puts that person above that desire or removes that desire, I can't really compromise on it.

Many men want kids, but many men also don't, it's just a case of prayer, faith and persistence to find the right one.

As for the weight, honestly, if someone cares that much about your weight (Which isn't that much considering I'm a much bigger guy), you really don't want to settle with that person.