SUICIDE:
I know you are younger, but do you honestly think all of us have lived as long as we have without also having gone through those thoughts... and often, "attempts?" I've lost my grandparents, of course, my mother, my father, my first wife, my children, my dogs (yes, they mattered, too.), and so many friends I can hardly name them all. Each time, I sometimes sat here in this lonely house, or in a tent in a strange land with a pistol in my hands........ or I was well over a hundred miles an hour on a motorcycle..... or aiming my aircraft downward in a dive..... or thinking about just walking out into a hail of bullets.... once I was even only a half inch from the open electric panel at my house with a screwdriver shaking in my hand.
But I am still here. Know why? Because of two things. One is what the first Psychologist I ever worked for said when we were discussing a patient's suicide. He said, "Suicide is too permanent for you, Bill. You have to know what is just around the corner with the next rising sun." And the second is a persistent voice in the far recesses of my mind saying, "Not yet! I still have someone who needs your particular brand of butt-kicking."
Well, I don't know if that was really God talking, but it has always reached me. LOL That voice spoke my language.
So, we aren't shocked, nor immune to understanding thoughts of suicide. Yeah, we'll cry a tear or two if you do it. But life goes on, and we weren't sent here to take on the responsibility for whatever each individual chooses to do.