If A Woman Isn't Married By Age 50, Will She Be Alone Forever?
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B
Am I the only one who'd like to see a thread asking "If A Man Isn't Married By Age 50, Will He Be Alone Forever?"
So many questions I would love to ask on that one.
So many questions I would love to ask on that one.
B
It must be because of a generation gap because American grandmother & great grandmother generations would prepare their daughters to marry before 30, preferably around 25. And one of the best outlets was college where the parents would hope their daughter would find a husband before graduating. That tradition still holds true today for many middle class to the elite classes today. The proof is in the pudding: in 1960, the marriage rate was 72% and today it is near 30%. This post is not my opinion but facts. My two sisters who are now 59 & 64 got married at 21 & 25. I have 12 aunts combined on both sides of my family, and 11 of them got married before they were 25. That was the norm in those days and the schedule for marriage was set mainly by the mothers. So you can hate me for telling the truth but marriages worked in those days. BTW, of those 12 (including my mother) aunts who married early, their marriages lasted 40 years or longer with no divorces.
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Yes, many women these days don't want to get married for the same reason. I hear men complaining often about how women are "too independent" and don't need to marry anymore. I guess in the end, all people are different and react differently toward the thought of marriage.
(I am sure the men you know are comfortable with cohabitation. All the "benefits" of marriage without the actual marriage. Of course, when a relationship like this dies, it's the same as a divorce on most emotional levels, and perhaps in God's eyes as well, if not "on paper".)
(I am sure the men you know are comfortable with cohabitation. All the "benefits" of marriage without the actual marriage. Of course, when a relationship like this dies, it's the same as a divorce on most emotional levels, and perhaps in God's eyes as well, if not "on paper".)
B
College: you mean, Christian colleges?
I'm not sure what to think of colleges as matrimonial agencies...
Kind of brings the academic standard down, if the main reason for being their is other than to study...
I'm not sure what to think of colleges as matrimonial agencies...
Kind of brings the academic standard down, if the main reason for being their is other than to study...
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One other thing I'm curious about, and Biscuit, I'm hoping you'll post your thoughts on this: why is it that men often cite the supposed limitations of a woman's physical biology, but conveniently omit something very notable regarding the biology of men?
Why is it that many men, while pointing out their need for a young, fertile female body... Fail to acknowledge or even mention the fact that many men, as they get older (especially with the growing health challenges due to diet, lack of exercise, etc.) are at a point where they need pharmaceutical aids just to be able to physically have sex in the first place?
Is that not also a "break down" of the body... or just a slight oversight they conveniently "forget" to mention?
I'm certainly not shaming anyone who may be struggling with this issue. I just marvel at the fact that some men apparently see their own bodies ageless, while women have "time limits."
Call me what you will but I'm actually hoping that at my age, I hope to marry someone who can have sex "naturally" and without the need for medication or "timing". As I said, I'm certainly not criticizing any man with these issues and if God wants me to marry someone who has (or develops) them, we'd learn to cope.
But I think that if the limitation of the female body due to age is pointed out, it's only fair (because, after all, you did mention balance) to mention that men (not all, but some, and probably most after a certain age) get to a point in time (in other words... after a certain age...) where, without the marvels of modern medicine... they'd be stuck in neutral with a break down of their own.
Why is it that many men, while pointing out their need for a young, fertile female body... Fail to acknowledge or even mention the fact that many men, as they get older (especially with the growing health challenges due to diet, lack of exercise, etc.) are at a point where they need pharmaceutical aids just to be able to physically have sex in the first place?
Is that not also a "break down" of the body... or just a slight oversight they conveniently "forget" to mention?
I'm certainly not shaming anyone who may be struggling with this issue. I just marvel at the fact that some men apparently see their own bodies ageless, while women have "time limits."
Call me what you will but I'm actually hoping that at my age, I hope to marry someone who can have sex "naturally" and without the need for medication or "timing". As I said, I'm certainly not criticizing any man with these issues and if God wants me to marry someone who has (or develops) them, we'd learn to cope.
But I think that if the limitation of the female body due to age is pointed out, it's only fair (because, after all, you did mention balance) to mention that men (not all, but some, and probably most after a certain age) get to a point in time (in other words... after a certain age...) where, without the marvels of modern medicine... they'd be stuck in neutral with a break down of their own.
Some people will chuckle, I'm sure.
And yes, I did have a serious point that I think is obvious: if men want to speak of a woman's body breaking down... it's important that they acknowledge their own... fallings... as well.
And yes, I did have a serious point that I think is obvious: if men want to speak of a woman's body breaking down... it's important that they acknowledge their own... fallings... as well.
B
One other thing I'm curious about, and Biscuit, I'm hoping you'll post your thoughts on this: why is it that men often cite the supposed limitations of a woman's physical biology, but conveniently omit something very notable regarding the biology of men? This is as old as mankind and the requirements (attraction) was needed to populate the earth. Being a young female, having a great body and virtues attract men of all ages. I believe it just a part of being a man. If we go back to the beginning of mankind, the requirements that women want in a man were a provider and protector. It wasn't uncommon for 14 & 16 year old girls marrying men in the 40's & 50's. It is believed that Mary was 14 and Joseph 45-50
Why is it that many men, while pointing out their need for a young, fertile female body... Fail to acknowledge or even mention the fact that many men, as they get older (especially with the growing health challenges due to diet, lack of exercise, etc.) are at a point where they need pharmaceutical aids just to be able to physically have sex in the first place?
If that's the case, why are these women dating & marrying some of these men. I would say many women are just tired of waiting and they see a provider & protector. These days many women will marry the old man, have a 500,000 dollar policy on him, asnd make most of the relationship. I am 60 but many women say I look 40, and I have no problem in attracting the 25-35 y.o. women. Many women today are just tire of waiting for guys their age. Some of them just want a husband and worry about the health problem later. My brother-law has 16 years on my sister and he is now having health problems. Does that concern my sister? Absolutely not after 38 years of a great marriage. My sister's friends used to pick on her for marrying a man old enough to be her father. The funny part is none of those friends got married but have a bunch of kids and not happy. And my sister is very financially secure if anything should go wrong with her husband.
Is that not also a "break down" of the body... or just a slight oversight they conveniently "forget" to mention?
A woman's beauty, body & virtues make her attractive for a man. Women see a man differently when it comes to a body. She want a man who can support her, protect her and love her rather than have a great body.It is important but usually not her top priority when it is for men in general. Like I said in an earlier post, men & women think differently.
I'm certainly not shaming anyone who may be struggling with this issue. I just marvel at the fact that some men apparently see their own bodies ageless, while women have "time limits."
I believe it is in a sense when it comes to an "attraction mechanism." In general, men's body have a heavier muscle mass than women and can slow down the physical aging process better than women.
Call me what you will but I'm actually hoping that at my age, I hope to marry someone who can have sex "naturally" and without the need for medication or "timing". As I said, I'm certainly not criticizing any man with these issues and if God wants me to marry someone who has (or develops) them, we'd learn to cope.
I am 60 very healthy and don't need Viagra. Most healthy men without health problems don't need Viagra or drugs to help them with sex. Let's not forget that women, like men have sex problems too that I won't discuss on CC board. So it is not a man thing. Some women just don't want or like sex as they get older.
But I think that if the limitation of the female body due to age is pointed out, it's only fair (because, after all, you did mention balance) to mention that men (not all, but some, and probably most after a certain age) get to a point in time (in other words... after a certain age...) where, without the marvels of modern medicine... they'd be stuck in neutral with a break down of their own.
I agree with you here.
Why is it that many men, while pointing out their need for a young, fertile female body... Fail to acknowledge or even mention the fact that many men, as they get older (especially with the growing health challenges due to diet, lack of exercise, etc.) are at a point where they need pharmaceutical aids just to be able to physically have sex in the first place?
If that's the case, why are these women dating & marrying some of these men. I would say many women are just tired of waiting and they see a provider & protector. These days many women will marry the old man, have a 500,000 dollar policy on him, asnd make most of the relationship. I am 60 but many women say I look 40, and I have no problem in attracting the 25-35 y.o. women. Many women today are just tire of waiting for guys their age. Some of them just want a husband and worry about the health problem later. My brother-law has 16 years on my sister and he is now having health problems. Does that concern my sister? Absolutely not after 38 years of a great marriage. My sister's friends used to pick on her for marrying a man old enough to be her father. The funny part is none of those friends got married but have a bunch of kids and not happy. And my sister is very financially secure if anything should go wrong with her husband.
Is that not also a "break down" of the body... or just a slight oversight they conveniently "forget" to mention?
A woman's beauty, body & virtues make her attractive for a man. Women see a man differently when it comes to a body. She want a man who can support her, protect her and love her rather than have a great body.It is important but usually not her top priority when it is for men in general. Like I said in an earlier post, men & women think differently.
I'm certainly not shaming anyone who may be struggling with this issue. I just marvel at the fact that some men apparently see their own bodies ageless, while women have "time limits."
I believe it is in a sense when it comes to an "attraction mechanism." In general, men's body have a heavier muscle mass than women and can slow down the physical aging process better than women.
Call me what you will but I'm actually hoping that at my age, I hope to marry someone who can have sex "naturally" and without the need for medication or "timing". As I said, I'm certainly not criticizing any man with these issues and if God wants me to marry someone who has (or develops) them, we'd learn to cope.
I am 60 very healthy and don't need Viagra. Most healthy men without health problems don't need Viagra or drugs to help them with sex. Let's not forget that women, like men have sex problems too that I won't discuss on CC board. So it is not a man thing. Some women just don't want or like sex as they get older.
But I think that if the limitation of the female body due to age is pointed out, it's only fair (because, after all, you did mention balance) to mention that men (not all, but some, and probably most after a certain age) get to a point in time (in other words... after a certain age...) where, without the marvels of modern medicine... they'd be stuck in neutral with a break down of their own.
I agree with you here.
Which, of course, is exactly my point--that women should not be given expiration dates based on physical measures, as Biscuit is saying.
Biscuit, I wasn't referring to you personally about a man's challenges with function as they age, but I do appreciate your honesty and willingness to discuss the subject. I was just wondering what your spiritual beliefs are? And, if I only had a dollar for every time I heard that men seeking companions younger than their own children as "part of being a man"...
I just always wonder what God has to say. And yes, as I've said, I do understand different things, including ages, work for different people. Some younger women feel safe with older men. I don't. When I was 12, a teacher in his mid-20's was making "comments" to me, and that has forever tainted my perception of older men. For me, having an older man look at me in a romantic sense makes me feel like the victim of a pedophile, even though I'm now 40 years old. But yes, that's just me.
I'll admit, your posts have troubled me even more so than those of the men I see on the Christian dating boards. I haven't slept at all tonight, and mostly because I keep praying, "Lord, there's a 60-year-old man on CC who says women are no longer eligible or ideal for love and marriage by age 29, and that if they're REALLY blessed, they might be able to stretch it out to 35. Yet, he seems to be telling us what a catch he is and that he'd have no problems picking up a 25-year-old. And, this seems to be the way that many older men think today, even many who claim to be Christians. They say it's part of being a man... in other words... they're saying it's because of the way you made them.
Lord, I know you love these men and want them to be blessed.
But what do YOU have to say about the subject? Do you feel that women 'expire' by a certain age, as this man says? (And he's saying it as someone who believes he has authority because he says he's a counselor.)
According to this man, my time expired years ago and I am now 'damaged goods' with no turning back.
Lord, I'd really like to know what YOU have to say, rather than the opinions of society..."
Biscuit, I do appreciate your willingness to be honest. If nothing else, it drives a woman--even one who became disqualified for love a long time ago according to your standards--to draw closer to God.
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P.S. One last thing I meant to add to my last post...
Contrary to another popular belief, not all women are bloodthirsty gold diggers. As I told a 70-year-old who approached me at my workplace and said he "wished I'd follow him home like a little puppy"; "Sir, as you can see, I have a JOB. Anything I need or want, I can work for myself."
First of all, I hope I'd never marry a man who thinks all women are out for his money. Second, I'd have no problems signing a prenup if it made my future husband feel more at ease. One blessing that God has given me is the ability to take care of and be responsible for myself, and if the worst came to pass, I could turn to my family.
For 15 years, I lived in a mobile home. I've always driven simple cars. Friends made fun of me and told me to "get a REAL house and a REAL car"... What they didn't know is that I was living below my means as much as I could and saving for my future. I've never had an impressive career, but I've tried to do the best with what God has given me (something my parents taught me from childhood.)
Now, when I do things like go to Disney World (by myself), some people will scoff, "Must be nice!!"
But they don't realize that the reason I'm able to do things like that is because... I lived in a trailer, never had a fancy car, and never followed their advice of getting "real" things. I didn't need them--what I already had was working out just fine.
As with anything in life, it took time to figure out and accumulate. I wasn't at this stage when I was between your "ideal" ages--I was on my way and had the same line of thinking as I do now, but finding our way in life and allowing it to produce fruit takes time... as in, sometimes more than 29-35 years.
Thank God He understands this!
Contrary to another popular belief, not all women are bloodthirsty gold diggers. As I told a 70-year-old who approached me at my workplace and said he "wished I'd follow him home like a little puppy"; "Sir, as you can see, I have a JOB. Anything I need or want, I can work for myself."
First of all, I hope I'd never marry a man who thinks all women are out for his money. Second, I'd have no problems signing a prenup if it made my future husband feel more at ease. One blessing that God has given me is the ability to take care of and be responsible for myself, and if the worst came to pass, I could turn to my family.
For 15 years, I lived in a mobile home. I've always driven simple cars. Friends made fun of me and told me to "get a REAL house and a REAL car"... What they didn't know is that I was living below my means as much as I could and saving for my future. I've never had an impressive career, but I've tried to do the best with what God has given me (something my parents taught me from childhood.)
Now, when I do things like go to Disney World (by myself), some people will scoff, "Must be nice!!"
But they don't realize that the reason I'm able to do things like that is because... I lived in a trailer, never had a fancy car, and never followed their advice of getting "real" things. I didn't need them--what I already had was working out just fine.
As with anything in life, it took time to figure out and accumulate. I wasn't at this stage when I was between your "ideal" ages--I was on my way and had the same line of thinking as I do now, but finding our way in life and allowing it to produce fruit takes time... as in, sometimes more than 29-35 years.
Thank God He understands this!
B
I believe you miss the main part of my argument. The 18-29 age group was set mainly by MOTHERS to get their daughters married because of the male psyche. The difference between mothers getting their daughter married today versus mothers today is that the former adjusted and arranged their daughters to get married based on the male psyche of having an attractive young woman, with a healthy body and virtues. The mothers of today are a product of the WLM and the feminist mentality, and have abandon the male psyche mentality and installed their own philosophy when it comes to men, and are having major problems attracting, keeping them and getting men to marry them. I also stated that women today can marry at any age if they can achieve a fine balance with what men want. Sorry, it will be the men who will invite you into matrimony and you will have his name, and he will pick her accord to the general male belief. Realistically, I blame the mothers of today for abandoning the old belief and accepting the feminist belief of "you can have it all baby!!" The old belifs works and today's beliefs do not. The proof is in the stats. Most of today's women don't take care of their bodies (overweight/obesity) and most men do not like fat women. Sorry, that is a big part of the male psyche. If women don't please the male psyche, it is very unlikely she will ever get married. Maybe they should bring back "shotgun weddings."
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