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Such density. The wrath is from us, not God. It does not say God had wrath against us. If He did he would not have sent His Son to die for us. This "dead in trespasses" is the condemnation of death through Adam, administered by Satan. You could also say we were children of Satan. But God in no wise hated us, or had wrath against us.
Col 3
5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.
Yes it is ones own practices against God's will which make God angry to draw his wrath.
Yes we were once children of Satan as Jesus said, being illegitimate children
John 8
“If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would do what Abraham did. 40As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. 41You are doing the works of your own father.”
“We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”
42Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. 43Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say.
44You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires.
They argued him stating they are not illegitimate children because they claim God, as many do but do not follow
Jesus specifically told them if they WERE the children of who they claimed they would do what their own FATHER DID.
Since they did not do nor practice what they claimed they testified by their own actions they are not of the Father they claim.
This is why we must be BORN AGAIN to a new Father.
This is why Christ died for us.
Not to purge our wrath toward God since killing Christ is fulfilling their wrath.
Christ's sacrifice is mercy purging God's wrath toward us.
But only to those who follow and do what their new Father does...as Christ has said.
Otherwise Jesus will plainly tell them..Depart from me I never knew you.