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B
Okay.
So I just went to the grocery store, payed an overdue bill, and payed more pills.
I feel pretty schnazzy because all of that is off my chest.
I bought at the grocery store:
Vanilla Almonds............yesss- in napoleon dynamite voice.
Melatonin tablets to help me sleep....I am not experiencing ANY anxiety right now, its nice. but I can't keep my eyes open, haha.
Also real food........and tuna...I bought like seven cans of tuna....So for like a week straight I'll have tuna sandwhiches.
It's gonna be snazzy.
And then after I checked out I realized how socially awkward I have become, because whenever the cashier told me to have a good day in a cordial manner, I replied with 'okay' like it was actual advice.
Sup wit dat?
So I just went to the grocery store, payed an overdue bill, and payed more pills.
I feel pretty schnazzy because all of that is off my chest.
I bought at the grocery store:
Vanilla Almonds............yesss- in napoleon dynamite voice.
Melatonin tablets to help me sleep....I am not experiencing ANY anxiety right now, its nice. but I can't keep my eyes open, haha.
Also real food........and tuna...I bought like seven cans of tuna....So for like a week straight I'll have tuna sandwhiches.
It's gonna be snazzy.
And then after I checked out I realized how socially awkward I have become, because whenever the cashier told me to have a good day in a cordial manner, I replied with 'okay' like it was actual advice.
Sup wit dat?
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M
I just fell over. I was trying to be all smooth and take off my boots without having to sit down. So I was in the middle of the living room, standing on one leg. I think I would have been fine if I hadn't gotten cramps in both my calves at the same time. Anyway, I crashed onto the floor, which I could tell my downstairs neighbor appreciated by the way she started thumping on her ceiling with what I'm guessing was a broom handle. Or maybe a Swiffer.
I don't really get why she was mad, it's not like I normally crash around my apartment at 2:30 in the morning. Plus, I'm certain that if she knew why I fell over in the first place, she'd have had nothing but the deepest sympathy- or maybe I'm delusional. But really, there's plenty of women out there who have gotten stuck in their knee-high boots before...and nearly died in the process of trying to remove them...yes?
What I don't understand is why I'm still awake.
I don't really get why she was mad, it's not like I normally crash around my apartment at 2:30 in the morning. Plus, I'm certain that if she knew why I fell over in the first place, she'd have had nothing but the deepest sympathy- or maybe I'm delusional. But really, there's plenty of women out there who have gotten stuck in their knee-high boots before...and nearly died in the process of trying to remove them...yes?
What I don't understand is why I'm still awake.
My strongest memory from watching the news videos of the tornadoes in the Midwest last year is the following story.
A lady and her husband were standing there beaming as she hung up her phone. She explained to the reporter that her friend had just called to say that she'd seen the couple's daughter with the other students on the live footage from the damaged school! They were now going to go pick up their little girl who had made it safely through the storm. It appeared to be the best day of their lives!
The couple already knew that their house had been completely destroyed in the melee, but it didn't really matter anymore.
A lady and her husband were standing there beaming as she hung up her phone. She explained to the reporter that her friend had just called to say that she'd seen the couple's daughter with the other students on the live footage from the damaged school! They were now going to go pick up their little girl who had made it safely through the storm. It appeared to be the best day of their lives!
The couple already knew that their house had been completely destroyed in the melee, but it didn't really matter anymore.
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Thanks and understand, adult conversations needed, and ye the banging an screaming goes on and on. A family of five, and a head-ache is normal, not unusual, and it is where we can grow in God's strength , not our own. praying you do get the chance to get away and be alone yet not, but away from the hustle and bustle for a little while. Hear the stream, and so in the meantime, teach me Lord, how to live above my circumstances while in the midst of them.
I think it might be better for me to quit going upstairs for that drink of water and back down again here only to thirst again.
It is something I am also learning not to do, come back down and thirst again. To stay in Spirit and truth, thinking and knowing it is all worth it, and asking how do I do this and be joyful in it. And I know it is easier said than done Sis
But God is for you not against you ever. other peoples interpretations are as you well know
You are in a battle to raise these Children of yours, and i know all in all you no matter what will do well as can, and all will turn out worth it, because you do love them
I think it might be better for me to quit going upstairs for that drink of water and back down again here only to thirst again.
It is something I am also learning not to do, come back down and thirst again. To stay in Spirit and truth, thinking and knowing it is all worth it, and asking how do I do this and be joyful in it. And I know it is easier said than done Sis
But God is for you not against you ever. other peoples interpretations are as you well know
You are in a battle to raise these Children of yours, and i know all in all you no matter what will do well as can, and all will turn out worth it, because you do love them
I remember a time when a Child had got his report card, and was so excited, he raced home to show Mom.
As he came in the door, only focus was to show Mom his report card, feet all muddy as he raced into the house and across the newly waxed floor still wet.
Oh the frustration that came upon Mom, as the Child was excitedly trying to show her his report card.
The Mom fortunately was living above her circumstances, and saw the excitement and instead of getting mad over the floor, praised her child, knowing when she did something similar in her childhood, and was excited, was condemned for the mess and ruined the relationship between her and her Mom
So she thought this thought:
I can always re wax the floor, but I can't always rebuild the relationship
As he came in the door, only focus was to show Mom his report card, feet all muddy as he raced into the house and across the newly waxed floor still wet.
Oh the frustration that came upon Mom, as the Child was excitedly trying to show her his report card.
The Mom fortunately was living above her circumstances, and saw the excitement and instead of getting mad over the floor, praised her child, knowing when she did something similar in her childhood, and was excited, was condemned for the mess and ruined the relationship between her and her Mom
So she thought this thought:
I can always re wax the floor, but I can't always rebuild the relationship
Glad you are honest, and by your trust and maybe going out to gain an income, you will, one foot in front of the other, and unfortunately porn is far toooooo common in the world today, and am choosing to learn as am in this world not of it and yet act as if I am of it from time to time, as is what the unredeemed flesh of us all, fights from the first day of puberty.
Prayers for you Brother, there is a hidden reason in all this that right now you do not see, is what i have found out over the years, there is more to what meets the eye, physically
Prayers for you Brother, there is a hidden reason in all this that right now you do not see, is what i have found out over the years, there is more to what meets the eye, physically
Been through that, and saw that, whether it was truth or not as in the vultures is not the issue ans felt at that time I was cheated as well. Then I came to this conclusion, God said God would supply ALL our needs regardless, so who needs that unrighteous Mammon, when God said God will provide it all. So whether others are honest or not is not to be my concern. My concern is to be honest by god's teaching me to be
Look at Luke 16, about unrighteous Mammon and ask God to reveal to you what you need to know far and aboce this world's dependence on money. God always knows what we need before we even ask.
So I ended up putting my trust in God to teach me how to walk by Faith, knowing all my needs will be supplied and do not need to cheat anyone for my needs to be supplied
Maybe my experience might help, praying so
Stinking thinking is a big crippler Brother, big
Look at Luke 16, about unrighteous Mammon and ask God to reveal to you what you need to know far and aboce this world's dependence on money. God always knows what we need before we even ask.
So I ended up putting my trust in God to teach me how to walk by Faith, knowing all my needs will be supplied and do not need to cheat anyone for my needs to be supplied
Maybe my experience might help, praying so
Stinking thinking is a big crippler Brother, big
Yes Sister, that is a fact Jack. people always showing what they wanted all along as when they, me can be good to another, with the wrong motive to gain something later on down the road.
with saying things like expecting the other to do for them, when they already did for them, before in the past. Kind of like what Luke 16 is talking about. And Luke 14, about how we as people have wrong motives in being friendly and loving to others
That is just a reality of people in general. And Christ is doing his best to show us this, unrighteousness we all have.
Yet Sister we all are here are we not? And by one's thinking in reaction to all the tragedies that befall us all, and the things we have done ourselves, God in God's wisdom and Mercy came to redeem us and teach us how to walk, with no expectations in return for what we do for others or not
Read that whole Chapter, if you will, and ask God to reveal this to you, to be able to live above theses circumstances here on earth that we all are in
Love you, to the understanding of why and how God just loves us all. even though none of us deserve it, ever
Change your thoughts and feelings change right with them, the one's that are dominant, predict how one feels whether right or wrong
with saying things like expecting the other to do for them, when they already did for them, before in the past. Kind of like what Luke 16 is talking about. And Luke 14, about how we as people have wrong motives in being friendly and loving to others
That is just a reality of people in general. And Christ is doing his best to show us this, unrighteousness we all have.
Yet Sister we all are here are we not? And by one's thinking in reaction to all the tragedies that befall us all, and the things we have done ourselves, God in God's wisdom and Mercy came to redeem us and teach us how to walk, with no expectations in return for what we do for others or not
Read that whole Chapter, if you will, and ask God to reveal this to you, to be able to live above theses circumstances here on earth that we all are in
Love you, to the understanding of why and how God just loves us all. even though none of us deserve it, ever
Change your thoughts and feelings change right with them, the one's that are dominant, predict how one feels whether right or wrong
Are you a soldier, and yes then it makes sense to stay focused on what is at hand to not be distracted. because as soon as one is. It can be all over along with the whole platoon in just a few minutes, and if live through it, the thinking of it afterwards, steals, kills and destroys, when what is over and done can't be changed ever, Ans one does not heal until they begin to accept what is as what is, whether they like it or not. And to get passed and over it, does not mean one does not care that it happened, yet it happened and one can't change it, no matter what their tragedy is can they?
Went to my Son's author's tea at his school this morning. The students in his class read their reports or stories to the parents. My shy little boy stood in front of the microphone and read his report on grapefruit, it was so cute.
Then we got to sit with them and eat bagels. It's nice to get some one on one time with him, he read some more of his stories and showed me his artwork. I am very proud of him.
Then we got to sit with them and eat bagels. It's nice to get some one on one time with him, he read some more of his stories and showed me his artwork. I am very proud of him.
M
I'm surrounded by people who are pretty certain that they could live my life far better than I'm doing it. Every single decision I make is under scrutiny and open for ridicule and judgment by a few select members of my family.
I know this happens to people a lot- families are often cruel to each other, I am not the first person to experience this from the people I was raised by/with.
That doesn't make it hurt any less.
I feel selfish, in a way, because I know everyone has their own struggles and pain, and yet here I am somehow expecting my family to show a little kindness just because of my current situation. Just because they're my family. I somehow thought that because of their own pasts, they might be compassionate, rather than angry and demeaning.
This is the type of thing I've just walked out on...
but you can't divorce your family.
And maybe some of them are right about me; maybe they see something I don't. I'm not unwilling to listen...but it's awfully hard to hear any truth when it's buried in insults.
I know this happens to people a lot- families are often cruel to each other, I am not the first person to experience this from the people I was raised by/with.
That doesn't make it hurt any less.
I feel selfish, in a way, because I know everyone has their own struggles and pain, and yet here I am somehow expecting my family to show a little kindness just because of my current situation. Just because they're my family. I somehow thought that because of their own pasts, they might be compassionate, rather than angry and demeaning.
This is the type of thing I've just walked out on...
but you can't divorce your family.
And maybe some of them are right about me; maybe they see something I don't. I'm not unwilling to listen...but it's awfully hard to hear any truth when it's buried in insults.
