Marriage... What advantages are left for men?

[biscuit]

Please do not hang anyone for the sins of their relatives. I do not know of a single divorce anywhere in my family, but that says nothing about me personally. Take people on their individual merits. They don't deserve anything less than that.

I didn't say they shouldn't marry but said it would be a risky proposition. It is for the men to decide since they will be asking for marriage.

 

[biscuit]

My ex-husband was raised in a devout Christian home with no divorce anywhere in his family that I know of. Aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents all married many many years. His father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were and are all pastors. He was raised to remain faithful, live for the Lord and be a good husband and father.

That did not prevent him from having a secret affair and forsaking his family and God to live a life of sin.

Being raised in a stable two-parent home obviously raises the chances of a healthy marriage, but it's definitely not a guarantee.

IMHO, dating is trial-period whereby both men & women have the opportunity to explore each other past for the purpose of making a decision to move onto the next stage of engagement. There are far too many "red flags" that we have a tendency to ignore before it is too late. I am guilty of this also ... but I was wise enough to end the dating process before getting hurt.

 

[biscuit]

I think it is harsh to judge someone based on the actions of their relatives. One must be evaluated based on his/her own individual merits.

You will be surprised how influential family members can be on their blood relatives in relationships matters. Some son & daughters allow mama/daddy, more or less, dictate how to proceed in the relationship. Have you ever heard of mama's boy or daddy's girls?

 

[secularhermit]

Your focus should be on the Lord, and if it is in His will for you to be married, He will bring the right one into your life. You can't look at statistics and think you have no chance of a good marriage. If you are focused on what can happen to you if it doesn't work out, it probably won't work out. If your focus is on God and your wife does decide to leave and take what she can, you still need to focus on the Lord. He will take care of you. There are no guarantees with anything in this life, marriage or otherwise. (Agreed here!)

Feminism is a huge blight on the family and marriage. I totally disagree with it and never will see that it has helped any female, let alone society.

I'm divorced because my husband of over 25 years molested our daughters. Totally turned our world upside down. I never in a trillion years would have thought he would even think of doing such a thing. Our marriage was, it seemed, to be pretty decent, neither of us even considered divorce no matter what we went through. I work a low paying job and have three kids to take care of. We lost everything, husband and father, house, pets, 2/3 of our income, because of his choice.

I dated a couple of men down through the past several years, and what terrible people they turned out to be. Supposedly Christian too. But I can't look at that and think all men are as bad as they were. I just trust the Lord to take care of us, and if He has somebody for me that's great. If not, I can have a full life without a husband. I know that is not your point but as I said, you can't take your focus off God.

You reminded me this: "Ecc 11:4 He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. " When i read those letters in RED.

 

[secularhermit]

You will be surprised how influential family members can be on their blood relatives in relationships matters. Some son & daughters allow mama/daddy, more or less, dictate how to proceed in the relationship. Have you ever heard of mama's boy or daddy's girls?

Isaac was a daddy´s boy!

Samson wasn´t none! (or both, mama´s and daddy´s)

And these accounts are quite difterent.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Good post nautilus. I know it's from 2012 but the thread is reviving. Sad but true. If the trend continues at the current pace, about the only ones getting married in the future will be fully committed Christians, homosexuals, and fools if marriage is not redeemed from the hands of the special interests by this generation. I've read many a story about two people living together and the female having a child from a previous relationship and the court ordering the male to pay child support for a child that is not his own to a female he never married. That's how bad it's gotten. It's crazy. Many males are looking at the liabilities and simply becoming players who practice careful safe sex and enjoy women without living with them, marrying them, or taking responsibility for their preexisting children (if any), etc.... When one gets clingy, they simply dump her and move on. Leykis 101. These males are NOT Christians, of course, but that's where it's been trending since the late 90's. A society in rapid moral decline and the degradation of the male role model and the institution of marriage at the hands of the "progressive" left have been the primary driver for it along with a changing economy that the neocon right bears the most responsibility for creating.

No he isn't the only one. Those are the exact reasons I will probably never get married. The reward is just not worth the risk. Its ridiculous how much I would stand to lose if I got married. Only a fool would jump into it. Even worse in some states they have things called common law marriages where if you lived with a significant other for a set amount of time you might as well be married. So can anyone put forth a valid counterpoint against this?

 

[jeremyPJ]

You are right in that there is no advantage for men getting married nowadays, unless to a Christian Woman. An honest to God Christian woman. I do believe they still exist, but may still be jaded by friends (and family). This is the cause of many relationships I have watched go bad over the years. All this is something I struggle with, hoping not to fall into this trap again. Hopefully third time's a charm lol. Peace and good luck to you men.

I suppose I should elaborate on why I feel this way. My wife was jaded by her friends, they were the type who weren't happy no matter who they were with, and had been with many men. They made her feel like she was missing out on something, by being with me. They were jealous that we had a good relationship, and I came from a good family. So was her older sister, sis was the "golden girl" of her family (pretty, petite, spoiled). But I was a better man than her hubs, thus the undoing. He took me down in many ways too, and so did she. And they, and I all worked together. So other gals were convinced into evil ways, to find to split us. And they had lots of powerful fun doing this. Long story short, they changed her into someone she wasn't. And it ruined our marriage.

This is why I say be careful of friends and family. Also note that we were not in a Christian marriage. I had religious leanings, but nobody else did that was involved. So maybe this made a big difference. For the sake of my future, I hope it never happens again. Christian forever...

 

[secularhermit]

I have seen it "Christians" and undone, even inside those who are leading churches.

Marriage is more than a hope and, at the same time, a lottery where there is too much involved and bet (particularly when there are children; either side, whenever we´re grown up and old)

 

[INTJer]

I think it is harsh to judge someone based on the actions of their relatives. One must be evaluated based on his/her own individual merits.

Someone could come from a bad family background and be determined not to be like them. I think it is more likely that someone from a horrible background will just repeat the same bad patterns, but still there are exceptions.

 

[jsr1221]

Someone could come from a bad family background and be determined not to be like them. I think it is more likely that someone from a horrible background will just repeat the same bad patterns, but still there are exceptions.

I grew up in an alcoholic household who hated each other... If God blesses me with a family I promise that won't happen again with me. Not everyone repeats patterns

 

[ChandlerFan]

Cynicism on the part of men like what is communicated by the title of this thread always causes me to roll my eyes hard...

 

[tourist]

The advantage of marriage is the intimate love that is shared between the two that comes from the One.

 

[Fenner]

I can't believe this awful thread is back.

 

[persNickety]

Welp, I guess there's always sex. That's an advantage.

 

[ChandlerFan]

Welp, I guess there's always sex. That's an advantage.

I feel like such a poser now for having talked about rolling my eyes without actually using the eye roll smiley. Although it looks more like a coy smile than an eye roll lol.

 

[gypsygirl]

i wish i had the power to make some threads go bye-bye. *sigh*

though i confess, it is awfully tempting to create a thread called:

why it's a good thing that some (men) should never marry

 

[zeroturbulence]

I can't believe this awful thread is back.

...................

 

[secularhermit]

i wish i had the power to make some threads go bye-bye. *sigh*

though i confess, it is awfully tempting to create a thread called:

why it's a good thing that some (men) should never marry

Same predicament would apply for those (women) who are above or near their 40... Because men and women have limits (self-imposed too) and that "ugliness" cannot be hidden with a finger.

 

[secularhermit]

I grew up in an alcoholic household who hated each other... If God blesses me with a family I promise that won't happen again with me. Not everyone repeats patterns

Amen!

May the Almighty GOD bless you the more.

 

[gypsygirl]

Same predicament would apply for those (women) who are above or near their 40... Because men and women have limits (self-imposed too) and that "ugliness" cannot be hidden with a finger.

i have no idea what you're saying. nor do i understand what age has to do with ugliness or whether someone should marry.

for what it's worth, my comments were related to scanning some opinions expressed about the "advantages" (or lack thereof) associated with marriage.