see, i don't really feel any need to continually placate someone who isn't listening to me. i will repeat myself maybe once or twice, but then it's time to bid someone adieu and wish them well.
you don't owe anyone more than kindness motivated by love, and respect, in my opinion. and that respect includes yourself.
for me, i personally very seldom private chat, and then, it's usually only with friends. and i'm pretty open about that -- it's both on my chat message, and if one persists, i explain it to them. that leaves people with communication inside the room or over the mic, and prevents a lot of problems.
you know, it's interesting to me what people consider "derailing" or even demotivating in responses. i have also gotten discouraged by some of the responses, but i really am concerned about the fact that you're being so hurt by the responses that you receive that are negative.
see, i would ask you, what is keeping you from focusing on the positive responses, as opposed to allowing the negative ones ruin the experience? i completely understand that some people aren't tactful, kind or even here posting with the intention of fulfilling their own personal agenda and leading everything they say with their unhappiness and misery.
but that is just life, and i think on some level, there is a part of me that is determined to never be bent or too swayed by the folks who are lost, hopelessly clueless, or simply unpleasant. i would say to you, who do you want to drive your actions? the very unpleasant few? can you be content with turning over so much power and will to a few thoughtless, unhappy, or clueless people? every time i give my power and choice away because of something like that, i feel as though i've participated in the theft of my motivation and purpose. and i hate that.
and i really don't want that for you, either, kim. you have too much to share, and everyone pays for that.
go back and read some of your threads, even the ones that you got a "negative" response. read the positive comments, and the great interaction and participation. look at what good happened. i think they speak for themselves. and let it be known, i appreciate the desire, time and effort you make in creating posts that are well-thought out, and seek to stimulate some good discussion in the forum. you don't owe anyone here a surrender to your own narrative, voice, feelings or the manner in how you choose to express them.
i am apparently one of those people who have a pretty limited appetite for a lot of the joking threads (or threads that ask about "my best things"). it's not that i don't appreciate their value, or dislike ever participating in them, or can appreciate that others DO enjoy them, but that's not what is lacking in my life, or the reason i came and stayed here at CC. fun, playfulness and goofing off is something i am pretty good at finding, and manifesting in my own life : D
however, what is definitely missing, and what i have always enjoyed about CC is the ability to come and interact about issues that are closer to my heart and speak more to the matters of faith, relationships, singleness and so on. i've learned much and enjoyed that so much. : )
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