This.
The way we approach someone (always in love, of course) is often determined by their spiritual condition. Jesus was a great example in reaching out to people where they were in life, and I think that is the wise and most loving thing we can do. But to reach into someone's life, we often need to "observe" where they are spiritually. You would not respond to an unbeliever in the same way you would a new Christian, and you wouldn't respond to a new Christian in the same way you would a mature Christian.
grace, i'm really glad you brought this thread forward. : ) but, this is a topic still mulling around in my head. yes, i understand the points made about how "christians don't always look like what we expect them to be". of course, i SOOO get that. but the necessity and value of this preconception is sort of bothering me.
so let me ask you guys, do you see any conflict with this statement:
The way we approach someone (always in love, of course) is often determined by their spiritual condition.
and
Jesus was a great example in reaching out to people where they were in life
as i'm chewing this topic over, i find those statements to be inconsistent with one another. to paraphrase:
how do i correctly form my preconceived notion of their spiritual condition before i address them "where they are at" spiritually?
because the more i think about this topic, the more i realize that i don't need to pre-form, pre-assess, or determine anyone's spiritual condition prior to "meeting them where they are at", simply because my behavior isn't altered by this detail. yes, the conversation might flow differently, but that's to be expected.
i wish i could draw a decision tree here, but since you're not in my office, i will attempt to go without that visual aid. : D
i seldom assume much about someone--as far as whether someone is a christian or not. i don't believe that's really terribly reliable--or that the risk of my assumption is worth being wrong.
if someone says they're a christian, i'm going to believe them, but i know that people can make mistakes about that. as i relate to someone, if i suspect what they're saying is indicative of not being saved, i treat them as if they're someone who may perceive wrongly they're a christian. not by calling them a liar, but by asking questions, which is the process of getting to know someone.
You would not respond to an unbeliever in the same way you would a new Christian, and you wouldn't respond to a new Christian in the same way you would a mature Christian.
okay, so for a minute think about HOW you would treat a mature christian from a new one. think about what you would do differently. the fact of the matter is, do the assumptions and differences really exist? i don't think so. mature christians fall into sinful behavior, mature christians stagnate. mature christians are fallible. mature christians are not going to be treated much differently than new ones. no matter how long you're a christian, you don't have it all figured out. if anything the longer i'm a christian, the more i realize just how much there is to work on, and how far i still need to go.
if someone is a christian, i don't assume their condition. i don't need to. i just need to listen, be honest, be myself. i need Christ to shine through me. not my script, not my perfect words, but simply trust that i'm the conduit of His purpose and word. the idea that i need to FIRST ascertain someone's spiritual condition may sound okay at first, but i don't think that's what we're called to do. to do that is to pretend we can see the heart, lacking the wisdom and insight necessary to do just that. in fact, the problems that can arise from those assumptions are a whole other thing.
do my actions change that much? not really. i'm still the same person and the same truth applies. there's nothing in me that is going to overcome their lacking, and my assessments aren't likely going to be the difference. what WILL be is their openness and perhaps my ability to connect with them as the individual they are. to show them Christ. because the truth is that amazing all by itself.
here's what i think is the difference: not assuming about them, but knowing my bible, knowing my faith, and knowing God's character. those things make the difference. it's hard to be "bold and unashamed" when you aren't comfortable with the message you share.
by the way, does anyone else know what i'm talking about? this is starting to frustrate me a little, simply because i'm wondering whether i'm doing a really poor job of explaining this, if i'm missing some elemental point, or that no one sees the world as i do. and if it's a difference of opinion, i'm really fine with that--i just want to make sure i'm not misconstruing things.