I'm curious about the "weaning someone off porn" approach and am genuinely curious as to how this works? I understand that with smoking, there are things such as the nicotine patches, but what act as a "patch" for porn addiction? Would a person go from, let's say, watching "live action" to just pictures of undressed people and then down to nothing?
Well, let's remember what arousal is... you're talking about body chemicals, brain chemicals, blood moving, etc... most people seem to be approach this from a purely mental disciplinary standpoint, but the body is involved here, in a way it's not in some other decisions we make to not sin.
You don't combat biology with willpower. You will lose, almost every time. Ask the millions of Americans who have tried to lose weight this way - they usually gain it back and then more. You know that junk food stimulates the same part of the brain as crack? With arousal, you are getting a feeling - a good one. Persistent in watching porn, (I don't advocate it) and you will condition yourself to become more and more used to the stimuli, and will need more intense and higher quantities to get the same feeling.
Dopamine is involved here - it is also involved in the pleasure of eating comfort food, and the high with using drugs. Some people get hooked on the feeling, the high. Now, not that broad and simple, as with food and drugs there are psychological underpinnings that need to be addressed. And like I said, the porn likely got started to fill a void. Perhaps it was just tons of free time. Perhaps it started with curiosity.
The difference with this is that it is something you inflict on yourself without exterior substances. "Just stop thinking about it." Ok, just stop thinking about a pink elephant. Don't picture a pink elephant. You probably did, however. Simply putting it out of your mind will likely make it worse. You can drive out a demon, and sweep your house, but if you don't replace his presence with more guests, then that one and ten more demons will intrude your house. Your last state will be worse than the first.
I have never struggled with this - I'm not sure exactly how to go about it. But with what I am familiar with other addictions, in reading I mean, that involve the same kind of pleasure that is repeated for the pleasure - that is impulsive. I agree with the earlier poster - perhaps leave the porn and just masturbate without restraint (within the restraint of privacy, of course ^_^ ). I read in a book that one way you could beat cravings of chocolate is to just eat NOTHING but chocolate for a few days. You will be sick of it, and probably won't want to touch it again anytime soon if ever.
And like I said before, if it's not bad enough and relatively easy to just quit, then it probably wasn't an addiction. Because addiction is compulsory, and it is in such a degree that it inhibits your day to day life in some fashion (like hurting and neglecting a relationship, for example). But if it is an addiction, demanding one to "just stop" is WAY oversimplifying the struggle, by claiming it not a struggle with the permeant ease the advice promises. Anyone can quit anything for a period of time, usually. That's not the issue - how to quit FOR GOOD, is the issue. "Just stop" isn't the issue, as I'm sure the poster stopped to write the post... to remain halted is the issue, and "just stop" doesn't advise how to remain pure once stopped. It is an extremely temporary solution, parading as a long-term one.
I'm not criticizing here... I'm just curious as to what the weaning process would look like, exactly.
Not sure I know exactly what I mean! ^_^ Only that thinking from a scientific standpoint, the instantaneous decision to not sin again, and then expecting to not sin again, is not most productive (and hey, it may work for some - some, it probably won't. There should be options, in any case). I know that it is seen as "permittance" and "condoning." But one is not advising to continue AS WERE (which would be permittance, as that is detail of THE SITUATION that would be "permitted"), but advising to gradually step down.
If you want to be consistent, then people who smoke, drink excessively, etc, should be able to just quit, and need nothing beyond that. This is an addiction because of what it does to the BODY. It is compulsory, not because "gee, I'd just love to see how many whips in hell I can rack up today; I'd just love to be stigmatized by everyone at church and I dearly hope they find out, etc" but because of the physiological response the body has come to EXPECT.
So you need strategies to tell the body, "I don't need this much any more" and finally "I don't need it anymore." Dieticians say to introduce a vegetable with your meal. No dietician is going to expect someone with a junk food diet to overnight become a vegan or such. Certainly won't last. But that's essentially the same thing as expecting one to just drop this whole thing cold turkey, if indeed we are talking about a serious addiction.