Is being a submissive wife really taboo?

[PoetMary]

Nice. Okay, whelp, since this is turning into the reading into things and accusing forum post, I'll be checking out of it now. I find great irony in the 'you're not loving' beatings we give. "Hi, Kettle. You're black." said Pot. And, no, that isn't a racial slur, just, you know, because that's where you're going to take it.

Enjoy your time here.

And I find it interesting that when people are in error they cannot apologize for inappropriate behavior, but instead must do various things to shift the blame to others.

Implying that someone shouldn't be on a chat forum offering ideas due to age is not on topic. It's both illogical, and frankly incorrect.

Correcting someone's grammar in a shameful way and opting out of responsibility by calling it a "joke" isn't a misunderstanding. It's a form of manipulation.

Implying that I'm in the wrong and that I will be calling you racist for engaging with a colloquialism is also manipulative.

 

[PopClick]

Because I hold my "Husband" if that's a more acceptable term for you, in the same respect as God, somehow this is a bad thing?

Yes, that is a bad thing. Your husband is fallible and imperfect. What if your husband told you to murder someone, or do something else that broke one of God's laws? I'm sure you will say no, my Master is a loving person and He would never command such a thing! And that may be true. But the point I am making is that you should not place your husband on equal footing with God, for the simple reason that he (lowercase h) does not belong there. God deserves more respect than any man (or woman).

 

[MarcR]

You can only serve one master. So, if your husband is your master, what role does Christ play?

Honestly, this sounds a bit trollish to me. If it isn't, consider the master thing. No man should be your master. Ever. Enough said.

What about Sarah?

We have one Spiritual master; but we are under various people's authority to varying degrees all our lives as Scripture says we should be.

 

[MarcR]

I didn't call you a troll. I said the post seemed trollish.

Read the Bible. The Word of God specifically says that you can't serve two masters, because you'll hate one and love the other. The Word of God also says that anyone who loves husband more than Christ is not worthy of Christ. So, take from that what you will.

On a side note, when someone writes in a fighting tone as you do, I find it very, very hard to believe the whole submissive bit. So, you're willing to bow and scrape to your husband and call him master and fight everyone else? Fishy, yes?

Scripture also says that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is Head of the church. Scripture also tells us to obey those that rule over you. Scripture also instructs slaves (workers) to submit to their masters (bosses).

I can understand your objection to the capital 'M'; but it is a minor breach, IMO.

I do not believe that any man has any right to subjugate his wife; but this young woman is joyfully submitting herself; as she is instructed to do.

 

[cmarieh]

I've gotten the gasp and eye roll from pretty much every person I have this conversation with (Christian or not) when I say I am a submissive wife to my Master (husband). The truth is I have always had a submissive type of personality and spirit. I do my best everyday to submit to God and my Husband.
This means, I wake up and do my daily devotional and pray, I then kiss Master awake and make food while He chooses our clothes for the day. I sometimes will draw Him a shower then clean the house. It is these things, but mostly it is about listening to Him if He tells me no for something I trust that He has my best interest in mind. This is a rare occurrence though. Being a submissive wife to me is also not arguing withMaster if iI don't like something. There are times where He will for instance leave clothes about the house instead of putting them in the basket, instead of arguing I simply ask "I know you work a lot to give me and us a good life and home and you're tired at night but next time can you please put your clothes in the basket?" And He apologizes and picks up His own mess.

It is about trust, love and honesty. I don't understand why some people think that women being this way is somehow wrong.

I can understand what you are saying here, but I don't agree with 100% of it. I too have always had a submissive personality and that is how God created me and there is nothing wrong with it. However, calling your husband master really bothers me. It reminds me of "I Dream Of Jeannie" where Jeannie would call Mjr. Nelson Master and if you remember she lived in a bottle. God did create women with a voice and we are to use it, but at the same rate the husband is head of the home and we are to submit to him. I am all for wanting to do everything for a husband, but you do know God created you with dreams and it isn't healthy that someone of your age not to have dreams and want to accomplish them outside of a spouse.

 

[cmarieh]

Scientifically, a person's brain isn't fully functioning on a cognitive level until their late twenties. I can't find the correct wording, but basically, most teens are unable to see past the 'now' and determine the long term consequences, good or bad, for their actions or lack thereof. I believe this is what the comment made was referring to.

Stage 3: 7 to 22 years

• The neural connections or ‘grey’ matter is still pruning, wiring of brain still in progress, the fatty tissues surrounding neurons or ‘white’ matter increase and assist with speeding up electrical impulses and stabilize connections. The prefrontal cortex is the last to mature and it involves the control of impulses and decision-making.
• Therefore, teenagers need to learn to control reckless, irrational and irritable behavior. Avoiding drugs, alcohol, smoking, unprotected sex and substance abuse.
• http://nancyguberti.com/5-stages-of-human-brain-development/

I don't agree with this. When has science always been right? There are some wonderful people that their brains are fully developed much earlier, it may just depend on the type of environment they grew up in.

 

[MarcR]

Because I hold my "Husband" if that's a more acceptable term for you, in the same respect as God, somehow this is a bad thing? Yes God comes first in everything I do. But, I will listen to my Husband before anyone else (until the day Jesus returns that is) how is aspiring to be the best wife I can be, a bad thing?

It is your biblical role, IMO. If it were imposed on you it would certainly be wrong; but that is another discussion.

 

[MarcR]

For everyone's information, "helpmeet" simply means an equal that helps. As for a Christian husband and wife who have obeyed God and not married unequally, there is no need for a spiritual "leader", for both are the spiritual leaders in the home.

Actually it is a connection of two words help, and meet meaning appropriate.

 

[MarcR]

I'm with you on society castrating boys and men, but there's a huge difference between what God describes as a healthy, godly marriage and what the OP describes.

I think you totally misunderstand her.

 

[MarcR]

Here's what you're missing. A woman isn't required to treat her husband like he's her master...nor is she required to call him master. Additionally, supporting one's husband does not demand that you allow him to make every decision for you no matter how minute (which, let's be frank, would be odious for most men and completely diminutizing for most women). For example, I know how to dress myself. I've managed to do so for some years now. I don't need my husband to pick out which clothes I should wear each morning.

Thus, the question becomes, "Why would a couple do this?" And the answer is this: They are creating a relationship based on POWER and not based on JESUS.

The fact that Christians who know Jesus intuitively recognize this and come against it isn't problematic.

There is NOTHING within any scripture that demands that a woman be a slave to her husband. And there are certainly specific scriptures that would seem to contradict the idea that a man be a slave-master to his wife. For example, a man is told to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. Christ sacrificed himself on a cross for the Church? Christ didn't micromanage his disciples. He knew them intimately and loved them because of their gifts and flaws both. He KNEW that Peter's impulsivity led him to claim that Jesus was Lord just as it would lead him to deny Christ. He loved Peter.

The idea that a husband would lord it over a woman and try to force her into being some kind of ideal that he has in his head instead of sacrificially loving her is not in keeping with scripture nor the example of Christ.

The lenses that you wear regarding the treatment of men in modern western culture have prevented you from seeing the clear folly of the original post.

It's not a post about "am I really being a Christian wife?" It's a post presenting the BDSM lifestyle as a norm and asking for the approval of Christians. It's a post that is manipulating scripture to support life choices that are not really based in scripture.

I see it in the same spirit as Sarah calling Abraham lord. Scripture does NOT depict Abraham as an abusive husband.

 

[kaylagrl]

I've gotten the gasp and eye roll from pretty much every person I have this conversation with (Christian or not) when I say I am a submissive wife to my Master (husband). The truth is I have always had a submissive type of personality and spirit. I do my best everyday to submit to God and my Husband.
This means, I wake up and do my daily devotional and pray, I then kiss Master awake and make food while He chooses our clothes for the day. I sometimes will draw Him a shower then clean the house. It is these things, but mostly it is about listening to Him if He tells me no for something I trust that He has my best interest in mind. This is a rare occurrence though. Being a submissive wife to me is also not arguing withMaster if iI don't like something. There are times where He will for instance leave clothes about the house instead of putting them in the basket, instead of arguing I simply ask "I know you work a lot to give me and us a good life and home and you're tired at night but next time can you please put your clothes in the basket?" And He apologizes and picks up His own mess.

It is about trust, love and honesty. I don't understand why some people think that women being this way is somehow wrong.

Well to be honest the word master brings up some weird images these days. I wouldnt call or consider my husband a "master". That may be the very reason you are getting the eye rolls. How you run your marriage is your business.My parents have a very 1950s marriage,I do not. My husband was a bachelor for a long time before we married.He told me" Im not marrying you because I need a house wife,Im marrying you because I love you" That meant a lot to me. I think what works for you is fine as long as your husband is respectful of what you do and is not abusive. It can be a dangerous think to teach a woman to be brainlessly submissive. God gave us a brain to use and a woman should never be abused or put down.It doesnt sound like this is the case in your marriage.

 

[Mitspa]

My bad, just friends or family that think like her. Lol
You admire her committed heart to her husband, but what about biblically to her God. As i posted before, the marriage commitment is to the Lord first, cause if not things will change.
What happens when her needs begin to not be met. Then what? It comes down to doing something because you're happy, or doing it because it's right

It sounds like she was trying to say that it was through her commitment to the Lord that she submitted to her husband...Im not even sure this is a real person?

 

[kaylagrl]

Am I the only one here who read Eph 5:22-23? No, it should not be taboo for the wife to be subject to her husband.....however this only will turn out well if he truly loves you as Christ loves the Church. In fact I think about how fantastic it would be if women actually supported their husbands completely. The husbands just might man up and do something mighty if they felt fit to lead instead of lacking courage because even their own wife doesn't have enough confidence in him that he should be respected. Maybe even his kids would follow suit and admire that sort of man. Perhaps they would seek approval from him striving for similar qualities that they revere. Or we can just beat that woman who finds joy in striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman, so we can all go back to castrating the men and boys of today until there is nothing special or sacred about being male anymore.

There is a balance.I support my husband and I know he can make good decisions but I want to be part of any big decision making that affects me. We talk things out together. My father is the type to run ahead and gets himself in trouble a lot of times.My mother is very wise and if he'd listen to her more often things would go well for him.I think men may be good at making decisions,but women are given wisdom and discernment. If both parts weren't needed God would have left Adam single and said "you got this". He didnt,he made women. Yes,some women may "castrate" their husbands as you say but if you have the right balance you'll have nothing to worry about. You know I use to travel and sing for a living,traveled in hundreds of churches and you know what I noticed? Women attending church along a lot of the time. Husbands want to be respected? You want to be the leader of the home? You do the work. You take your family to church each Sunday,not sit home and watch football or hockey. I know many churches have bought tvs so the men can watch the super bowl !!!!! Lead your family in prayer and read the Bible to them. Pray with your wife and listen to her before making big decisions. Make sure your bills are paid on time so your wife isnt stressed. Show your sons how to treat their future wives by the way your treat their mother. Like teaching them to do chores and pick up after themselves. Show your daughters how a future husband should treat them by being gentle with their mother,helping her when she is tired,treating her to a night out sometimes,and helping with the kids and homework. A lot of men want to lead from the arm of the sofa,it doesnt work that way men. Mom doesnt get to do it,neither should dad. Marriage is a partnership,smart people understand that and use it to their benefit.

 

[kaylagrl]

Wow someone who actually understands what I'm trying to say! Thank you Sir for this. All men should have the complete upmost respect, as if they were as important to you as God

Quote...."as if they were as important to you as God" they are not as important as God,there is where your problem lies. There is only one God and he is a jealous God. No other Gods before Him,that means husband/master also.

 

[kaylagrl]

I think your BDSM lifestyle is being mixed with scripture. By your sig you're submitting to a lot more than spiritual leadership, which honestly isn't biblical

Wow I hadnt even noticed that...way creepy!

 

[kaylagrl]

Other than the creepiness of you calling him Master as if its some weird bdsm marriage, just do what makes you happy. But you cant get defensive when the rest of us dont fawn over your submissiveness and pat you own your back for it.

Good point,pride is also a sin.Just sayin...

 

[kaylagrl]

I did not see that one sir and it tells us many times for the wife to submit to her husband you used one verse to support what you where saying and I will remind you if the man is of God and same with the woman why would she have a problem submitting to the man if they are both of God they both will have good interest maybe not all the time but it is better another reason to another to be under equally yoked

The Bible tells us to submit to God,to authorities over us and to one another.Submitting is not just womans work.

 

[kaylagrl]

the point is the curse was not lifted it is still here we can only wait for our Lord to come back and make us hole.

Do you sacrifice goats in your backyard? If the curse wasnt lifted son you better find a flock of sheep quick!

 

[kaylagrl]

so by saying that you don't mean I don't know much help me understand what your intent was by saying that?

I believe he means you have no experiences yet to draw from.Until you live some and actually become married you really cannot say much. If you marry a woman with a mind of her own who disagrees with your decisions sometimes how will you feel about that? You have a lot of life before you and a lot to learn.No one is putting you down.

 

[Rosesrock]

It sounds like she was trying to say that it was through her commitment to the Lord that she submitted to her husband...Im not even sure this is a real person?

Good point...hmmm