BROTHER I TRULLY DO FEEL FOR YOU
AT YOUR CURRENT AGE OF 26
IF YOU HAVENT DATED ATLEAST 10 DIFFERENT WOMEN
AND
MANAGED TO GET 1/2 OF THE DATES ON YOUR OWN EFFORT
IM AFRAID A ---HOW TO---
ISNT GONNA HELP MUCH
EVENTUALLY
YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SAY TO YOURSELF
AND CONVINCE YOURSELF
IF ....... THIS IS WHAT I WANT
THEN
I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN
IN MY MINISTRY AND MY BUSINESS AND IN DATING AND MARRIAGE
ONE THING FOR SURE I CAN SAFELY SAY
I NEVER ACHIEVED ANYTHING WITHOUT DECIDING FIRST THIS IS WHAT I WANTED
EFFORT AND INTELLIGENCE ON YOUR OWN BEHALF
WILL ACCOMPLISH AND GET YOU WHERE IT IS YOU DESIRE TO BE
BEFORE
FOLLOWING ADVICE ON A WEBSITE
WHERE IT IS SOMEWHAT OBVIOUS
MANY OF THOSE YOUR TRYING TO GET ADVICE FROM
PROBABLY CANT GET A DATE THEMSELVES
My parents have been together since they were 13 and 15 years old. They married at the ages of 19 and 21. My mother never dated anyone else, and my father only took one other girl to a dance because it was arranged by my Grandma (the girl was a family friend they'd known for years.) As I wrote in another post, my mother gave me the, "Your father and I were virgins when we walked down that aisle," plenty of times while I was growing up.
My youngest brother was a very popular school athlete and had some long-term girlfriends, but was a virgin when he got married at 26. My brother is still very athletic, is now 31, and built like a Marine--he calls me and says, "Kim, these young guys nowadays... what are they thinking???? I try to tell them they're going to regret sleeping with so many women when they meet the one they finally want to marry, because she won't want him."
The man I married was a virgin at 22. Do you know how romantic it is for someone to tell you, "Baby, I waited for you, I saved myself for you and no one else. I love you that much. I am doing this with you because I love you and have not touched anyone else."
If that isn't a killer pickup line, I don't know what is. (Now I'm not advocating virginity as a pickup line in and of itself, mind you, and I'm not saying only virgins have a chance at getting dates, I'm just saying that for me, my husband's stance of being able to tell me that, and knowing it was true, absolutely melted my heart.) I'd only had one other serious boyfriend before him, and he'd only had two other girlfriends.
Some women do not want a guy who has dated scores of women, even if nothing sexual happened, because they will feel like a number at the deli counter--if he doesn't like even the slightest thing about her, she knows he will easily replace her because he is so used to moving on to the next conquest.
And Matthew is right--both men and women all have their styles and preferences and not all women like the approach of extremely confident men. I can think of two incidences where I was talking to a guy, and his hands were visibly shaking, and I thought that was adorable. Yeah, it made me smile to myself and think, "Am I that big and scary?" But it made me try to be even more attentive because I wanted to put them a little more at ease.
This is just my own experience, but the problem I've found with guys who tell me, "You're everything I want and need," is that they seem to have no inclination of what I should want or need, and they have no interest in finding out, because they're too busy telling me how perfect I am for them and how I'd be of such wonderful service to them in their ministry and plans for life. They don't ask--it's more like they decree.
I'm not saying all confident guys are like this, but any man who is so busy telling me how I'm going to fulfill what he needs in his life without bothering to ask me my own opinion as to what I need in my own life and if he could fill the role (which is my decision, not something for him to tell me) is not a man I would continue to talk to.
And, not in all cases, but in many that I've encountered at least, the confident types have slept around a whole lot more. It's not uncommon for me to meet Christian guys my age who are extremely confident and strong-willed, yes. And then you really talk to them... and find out they've slept with 30+ women... while still claiming to be Christians... yes, the past is the past and I know God forgives. But God also doesn't dictate that you have to date someone who is a Christian but has had 45 other sex partners before you! Especially when you didn't go through a phase like that yourself.
This happens to be the first question I will ask a guy who tries to tell me I'm perfect for him: "What's your sexual history like, and what are the numbers?" Yes, some will lie. But if you ask God if he's telling the truth or if something isn't right with what he's saying, and you can't sleep that night, you know something is wrong. And if that's the case, or if his "score" is higher than my own, I immediately move on. I have no interest in feeling like a number in a harem, which is how that would make me feel. (And yes, I've encountered guys who do not want me because I am divorced--and I can understand their stance and accept it.)
I'd rather take the adorably nervous, slightly shy but willing to try, tender-hearted, humble-approach-type guy over that any day, hands down.
But again, it is only an opinion, not absolute.