Observations

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F

Funrider

Guest
#1
In general...in my life.

I am beginning to see...some people are better off than others. Different money levels...different friends, different reputations, different levels of success...

And do you know what else?

The fact that God seems to be useless in affecting any of it.

Folks, I tried, I really have tried.
But I'm sick and tired of it.

I am THIS CLOSE...THIS...CLOSE (Picture a human hair's width), to rejecting Jesus.
The ONLY THING holding me steady...is the hope I can have a future with him.

Listen folks, I dont give a flying rip about the crucifix or his death.
I accepted him genuinely 7 years ago. NOTHING CAME OF IT.

I'm waiting on other blessings to have been manifested. NOTHING CAME OF IT.

I'm sick and tired of reading the bible, and being dissapointed.

I'm sick and tired of all of you, and your blind faith in a God that doesn't care for your and your family.

I'm writing this...to identify if ANY OF YOU can give me proof God is good. I'm at my wits end right now.

Right now, I am considering the occult, and freemasonry. I dont care for God's love. I want money, power, fame. God's love isn't helping me pay the bills. God's love isn't important to me.

At this point in the game, I genuinely hate Jesus. I think he wasted his time dying on the cross, and it did nothing to bring me peace and joy.

Here's your chance to sell me on why Jesus is worth a damn.
Begin:
 
F

Funrider

Guest
#2
May I quickly inform you, I am talking to some people, both here and from my church on this. I am getting help and closure. This is wrenching my heart.
 
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#3
Oh yes the world is quite an unequal place. Different money levels? I'm poorer than you. Different friends? Most mine have abandoned me. Different reputations? The people of my own hometown do not respect me and treat me like a joke. Even here on CC, the closest thing to a church for me I'm given almost daily threats of death, torture, or exile. Different levels of success? I'm one of the least successful by way of the world.

For me it just has made me hate the world even more and love God all that much more because the world first hated Jesus.

What's the point in money when you can't take it with you? What the point of fame only to have millions of people hate you and forget about you when the next fleeting fad comes along? What point would it be to own even the entire world only to die and be buried in a box 6 feet under it?

There is real wealth in Jesus, good deeds done in secret are like treasures stored where the thieves and rust cannot touch them. There is real fame in Jesus, he will give us a new name which only he knows. There is real power and strength in Jesus I have found, and this is what I know the most. Learn to love those that hate you and despitefully use you. Therein is the foundation of all real power and strength. I've been beaten many times. The man that endures the beatings and forgives the beater is stronger than the one that deals the blows. All this is possible with Jesus and much more. Don't lose heart because of the wretched world Sir Funrider. Seek after Jesus and may he comfort you.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#5
The problem is, everything is all about you, there is no room for
God in your life, you won't let him in!

God is not like a heavenly genie in a lamp who grants us all
our wishes, he does not give in to the tantrums of a spoilt child
who shouts and screams because he did not get a play station for
Christmas, then says "well I don't love you any more".




Joshua 24:15 NKJV
[15] And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves
this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served
that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in
whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."


1 Timothy 6:17-19 NKJV
[17] Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor
to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things
to enjoy. [18] Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready
to give, willing to share, [19] storing up for themselves a good foundation
for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

Ephesians 2:8-10 NKJV
[8] For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves;
it is the gift of God, [9] not of works, lest anyone should boast. [10] For we
are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which
God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.




Luke 12:16-21 NKJV
[16] Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: "The ground of a certain rich
man yielded plentifully. [17] And he thought within himself, saying, 'What
shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?' [18] So he said, 'I will
do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store
all my crops and my goods. [19] And I will say to my soul, "Soul, you have
many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be
merry."' [20] But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul will be required
of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?' [21] "So
is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God."
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#6
This thread looks very familiar.
 
1

1blessedmom

Guest
#7
I'm Praying for you !
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#8
In general...in my life.

I am beginning to see...some people are better off than others. Different money levels...different friends, different reputations, different levels of success...

And do you know what else?

The fact that God seems to be useless in affecting any of it.

Folks, I tried, I really have tried.
But I'm sick and tired of it.

I am THIS CLOSE...THIS...CLOSE (Picture a human hair's width), to rejecting Jesus.
The ONLY THING holding me steady...is the hope I can have a future with him.

Listen folks, I dont give a flying rip about the crucifix or his death.
I accepted him genuinely 7 years ago. NOTHING CAME OF IT.

I'm waiting on other blessings to have been manifested. NOTHING CAME OF IT.

I'm sick and tired of reading the bible, and being dissapointed.

I'm sick and tired of all of you, and your blind faith in a God that doesn't care for your and your family.

I'm writing this...to identify if ANY OF YOU can give me proof God is good. I'm at my wits end right now.

Right now, I am considering the occult, and freemasonry. I dont care for God's love. I want money, power, fame. God's love isn't helping me pay the bills. God's love isn't important to me.

At this point in the game, I genuinely hate Jesus. I think he wasted his time dying on the cross, and it did nothing to bring me peace and joy.

Here's your chance to sell me on why Jesus is worth a damn.
Begin:
I think I see your problem. It seems like you think you accepted Santa Claus.
 
F

Funrider

Guest
#9
POINT PROVEN, apparently.

I'm done. Jesus is dead to me.
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#10
Contrary to some peoples belief, this is NOT Jesus


 
D

dalconn

Guest
#12
POINT PROVEN, apparently.

I'm done. Jesus is dead to me.
Brother, seriously, search your heart, you need salvation and it comes the same way for each of us. We must walk by faith and trust God through the good and bad knowing that He is working out an eternal plan for us all. We are ALL assured suffering and affliction in one form or another in this life. Eternity is permanent but this life is temporal....focus on the permanent.

May God be with you
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dec 5, 2015
973
12
0
#14
In general...in my life.

I am beginning to see...some people are better off than others. Different money levels...different friends, different reputations, different levels of success...

And do you know what else?

The fact that God seems to be useless in affecting any of it.

Folks, I tried, I really have tried.
But I'm sick and tired of it.

I am THIS CLOSE...THIS...CLOSE (Picture a human hair's width), to rejecting Jesus.
The ONLY THING holding me steady...is the hope I can have a future with him.

Listen folks, I dont give a flying rip about the crucifix or his death.
I accepted him genuinely 7 years ago. NOTHING CAME OF IT.

I'm waiting on other blessings to have been manifested. NOTHING CAME OF IT.

I'm sick and tired of reading the bible, and being dissapointed.

I'm sick and tired of all of you, and your blind faith in a God that doesn't care for your and your family.

I'm writing this...to identify if ANY OF YOU can give me proof God is good. I'm at my wits end right now.

Right now, I am considering the occult, and freemasonry. I dont care for God's love. I want money, power, fame. God's love isn't helping me pay the bills. God's love isn't important to me.

At this point in the game, I genuinely hate Jesus. I think he wasted his time dying on the cross, and it did nothing to bring me peace and joy.

Here's your chance to sell me on why Jesus is worth a damn.
Begin:
You are on the verge of losing your freedom, and verging on becoming a willing captive of Satan. What is it in you that possesses such a sense of entitlement that dares to demand from God? He has a plan for you, and His thoughts toward you are ONLY GOOD, and nothing else!

You want to cast aside His utter love and acceptance of you, even as you are right now for a demonic entity that demands you jump through his hoops and he will claim you and kill you in the end.

To me, it's not a worthy tradeoff.


.
 
F

Funrider

Guest
#15
You are on the verge of losing your freedom, and verging on becoming a willing captive of Satan. What is it in you that possesses such a sense of entitlement that dares to demand from God? He has a plan for you, and His thoughts toward you are ONLY GOOD, and nothing else!

You want to cast aside His utter love and acceptance of you, even as you are right now for a demonic entity that demands you jump through his hoops and he will claim you and kill you in the end.

To me, it's not a worthy tradeoff.
As you say: Prove It.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#17
I don't believe in God because Pragmatism, I believe in God because He's the Way, the Truth and the Life. I haven't had grand miracles in my life, I struggle to hear from God, I struggle to trust Him, I struggle to walk in His Will. I sometimes compare myself with other Christians who pray for something and seem to get it, either straight away or at all - whether it's a job or whatever. I struggle with that stuff. If I believed in God because Pragmatism, I wouldn't believe in God at all. But I do believe in Him, despite Life and its pain. Despite being betrayed grievously by brothers and sisters in Christ. Despite being walked all over by people who should know better. Despite wanting to walk away from God at times. I've come to realise, if I don't have Christ, I have nothing. So I hold on tight to Him, d@mn tight. And yet, He's the one who doesn't let go. It's up to Him. I'll be praying for you.
 
F

Funrider

Guest
#18
I don't believe in God because Pragmatism, I believe in God because He's the Way, the Truth and the Life. I haven't had grand miracles in my life, I struggle to hear from God, I struggle to trust Him, I struggle to walk in His Will. I sometimes compare myself with other Christians who pray for something and seem to get it, either straight away or at all - whether it's a job or whatever. I struggle with that stuff. If I believed in God because Pragmatism, I wouldn't believe in God at all. But I do believe in Him, despite Life and its pain. Despite being betrayed grievously by brothers and sisters in Christ. Despite being walked all over by people who should know better. Despite wanting to walk away from God at times. I've come to realise, if I don't have Christ, I have nothing. So I hold on tight to Him, d@mn tight. And yet, He's the one who doesn't let go. It's up to Him. I'll be praying for you.
For what it's worth, Tintin, I truly appreciate your post. If I may be completely honest with you, even after I decide I've had enough of the walk, I come back..."If I dont have Christ, I have nothing".

Yet, I often feel, if I have Christ, he holds me back from getting everything.

I'll also be honest...I didn't know what the word Pragmatism...or the concept of being Pragmatic meant...then I now also realize...I came to Jesus in the light of Pragmatism...an applicable process where I can work through Jesus' example to better my life.

If Pragmatism isn't the truth, the way, the life...I honestly must reconsider why I even entertained Jesus in the first place. Perhaps I sought the wrong solution.

For the rest of you...money, power, fame matter more to me than Jesus. I truthfully believe Jesus Christ is the son of God, our LORD and heavenly father, who came to us to offer himself as sacrifice for our sinful nature, and that he died, and that I believe, as do you, that he was RISEN FROM THE DEAD in three days, nullified the power of death, and ascended into heaven, as we await his second coming.

The thing is...I really dont care. This: $$$$$$$$$ ...is what I care about.
If Jesus cant bring me $$$$$$, I will find another way, without denying his truth.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,089
8,752
113
#19
For what it's worth, Tintin, I truly appreciate your post. If I may be completely honest with you, even after I decide I've had enough of the walk, I come back..."If I dont have Christ, I have nothing".

Yet, I often feel, if I have Christ, he holds me back from getting everything.

I'll also be honest...I didn't know what the word Pragmatism...or the concept of being Pragmatic meant...then I now also realize...I came to Jesus in the light of Pragmatism...an applicable process where I can work through Jesus' example to better my life.

If Pragmatism isn't the truth, the way, the life...I honestly must reconsider why I even entertained Jesus in the first place. Perhaps I sought the wrong solution.

For the rest of you...money, power, fame matter more to me than Jesus. I truthfully believe Jesus Christ is the son of God, our LORD and heavenly father, who came to us to offer himself as sacrifice for our sinful nature, and that he died, and that I believe, as do you, that he was RISEN FROM THE DEAD in three days, nullified the power of death, and ascended into heaven, as we await his second coming.

The thing is...I really dont care. This: $$$$$$$$$ ...is what I care about.
If Jesus cant bring me $$$$$$, I will find another way, without denying his truth.
If you truly believe your profession of faith, then you are in for a VERY rough ride if your desire is for the other stuff. If you have accepted Jesus, His Holy Spirit will purge out through sanctification ALL the garbage you want to live in.

I pray in Jesus name, that this Truth would sink in.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,525
4,778
113
#20
Hello Funrider,

I've actually been thinking and praying about your thread for several days, and I hope that perhaps I might have something to share that you can at least relate to and might even be of some help. I've read several of your posts in order to try to understand a bit more of your background story, and it seems that the core source of your distress is that you feel you've had to make a choice between God and your dreams, and when you chose God, there was only disappointment.

I think most Christians, in some way, have gone through this. I am adopted and my parents had me in church the very first Sunday after they got me. I was raised on a church pew, so I know the struggles of faith very well, and I have often felt all the same things you've written in some of your threads.

A long time ago, I had a dream too. I wanted a spouse and a family, as everyone else in my own family had achieved. I have no known biological relative, not a single person I know of that shares my DNA, and it seems human that the things we don't have become the things we want the very most. I wanted my own family unit, and something I felt, for the first time in my life, that I could belong to.

The hardest part for me is when God takes the dreams that you hold dearest to your heart... and, seemingly, hands them over on a silver platter to the person who destroyed your dreams. As if everything else wasn't enough, I was CRUSHED when I found out my ex-husband had children with his new wife, while I have always found myself alone and do not have children.

I don't know if it's like this for you, but I know that when I get especially angry, I want to cause a stir that will at least get a response from someone... anyone... because the only way to know that someone realizes how hurt and angry you are is to get a response, and so often, it seems as if God NEVER responds, and therefore, does not care.

In my worst moments, I used to tell God, "Everyone tells me that you died for me. So why didn't you just stay dead? I'm sure I couldn't feel any worse than I do right now, and have, for years."

May I ask, do you ever... tell God exactly how angry and disappointed you are? I surely did. Unfortunately, I also took my anger out on a lot of people who most certainly didn't deserve my arrogant wrath. And I spent many miserable years in bitterness and anger.

I can't convince anyone else as to why they should believe in God because it's a personal decision--we all choose what we will or will not believe in. However, I can tell you why I continue to believe--because in my worst moments, in the times when I've told God I hate Him and that He forces people to obey Him with the threat of hell (I've often told Him, "If I could threaten people with eternal punishment, I'm sure a couple million people would pretend to love me, too"), the amazing thing to me is... (and it can take a lot of time, because I'm obviously stubborn)... Somehow, something eventually gets through to me and I know... that God still loves me. I don't know how He does it, and I don't know of anyone else in this world who would just keep taking the horrible things I think and say... and yet still accept me back every time and love me.

I'm sorry you've been going through such a hard time, Funrider. I've read your posts about seeking money, fame, and fortune. May I ask, and I'm sorry if I missed it in your other posts, but what is the void you are seeking to fulfill with those things? It sounds like there has been quite a bit of rejection in your life... something that left an empty, hollow place in your heart and in your soul that you are looking to fill, and it seems there is belief that these things will fill that void. I understand that well, as I have a void, too--the one I thought would be filled with a family--and I detest it when people say, "Let Jesus fill that void!!!" because the more Christian service I tried to do, the more burned out and resentful I became. I was at a point where I was at the church, taking Bible classes, and studying Scripture in ALL my spare time and it was turning me into a fanatic, not a follower.

We are all a work in progress. May I also add that you also seem to have the ambition to work hard and earn a good living, and that's not necessarily contradictory to God's will. Are there people who have made you feel this way? Many seem to overlook the fact that there were many wealthy, successful people in the bible (Abraham, Issaac, David, Joseph (second only to Pharoah), and Joseph of Arimathea, who provided a tomb for Jesus' body) and you may have those desires on your heart for a reason. God may be calling you to success because through it, you may be able to reach out to many other people.

I feel sad when I read your posts, because I'm all too familiar with the feelings you describe. Please, don't give up. Keep searching. Keep asking questions. Keep talking to people, and keep your heart open.

I can't tell you why you should believe in God because that's a decision you alone can make. But I can tell you, you are not alone in the fact that many of us have been where you are (and are still there, and are trying to find the way out, just as you are.) If I may, I'd like to encourage you to share all your innermost emotions with God ("Cast ALL you anxiety on Him because He cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7) and it is my sincere prayer that something or someone will break through to you... even if it takes time, and you will find a life beyond that wall.

Thank you for your time and patient consideration.

Sincerely,

Seoulsearch