Surrounded by a Sea of People, Yet Feeling Completely Alone. (What IS Loneliness?)

[melita916]

2 experiences come to mind that describe loneliness (to me).

1) in my 1st relationship, i was in college, but i would go home on the weekends because i was a sunday school teacher at my home church. my 1st boyfriend would stay on campus, and of course, he would hang out with others, which is totally normal and expected lol. but he would often hang out with one of our female friends a lot. the thought made me uncomfortable but i didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

the one weekday, the 3 of us plus her sister went to starbucks. while we were there, the 1st bf and she would have all the stories about the weekend and conversations they had, and eventually, it was just the 2 of them talking because i had nothing to communicate since i wasn't there. i felt completely alone because i didn't have anything to contribute, and yet they had a ball talking back and forth.

2. i was single, and i read an interesting article online. i was very excited about it. i grabbed my phone and wanted to share this article with someone, but then i realized no one would find it as interesting as i did. heck, probably no one would even care. i felt very alone because i felt like i didn't have a connection with another person.

 

[seoulsearch]

Being lonely stinks, but it's nothing a cold beer under a palm tree can't overcome.

Now I just have to find a palm tree... And I'll have to replace the beer with apple juice.

But throw in a little hut and a tropical island, and I'm willing to try it out!

However... Do tropical islands with huts and hammocks still have WiFi? I think I'd feel a little lost without it!

 

[seoulsearch]

i was single, and i read an interesting article online. i was very excited about it. i grabbed my phone and wanted to share this article with someone, but then i realized no one would find it as interesting as i did. heck, probably no one would even care. i felt very alone because i felt like i didn't have a connection with another person.

Mel, just throw me a holler and you and I can talk about the things we read about serial killers any time! (Reference to posts in skylove's Secret Hobbies thread.)

 

[skylove7]

This thread title is completely OK with me when I'm at WalMart lol
Just sayin'

 

[skylove7]

Love you Kim lol

 

[Ultimatum77]

I'm never alone I got me, myself, and I....jk it's normal don't sweat it....it only consumes you if you let it....put it out of mind and do something else to not feel lonely....

 

[Reborn]

Don't feel rone-ree, Kim.

 

[seoulsearch]

Don't feel rone-ree, Kim.

I admit this completely threw me for a loop for a minute.

I was like, "Rone-ree? What the hee haw is he talking about? That old Bobby Brown song? (In which he sings about his 'sweetest little Roni')."

And then... Shaggy must have blown some smoke in my face... and I finally got it.

 

[Lynx]

I just wish they'd occur more often. The sobering part is that there are many people here I think I could form that bond with here on CC (going on their posts and the few I've seen in chat), but we all live too far away from each other.

Alert: Incoming Carol King song.

"One more song about moving along the highway
Can't say much of anything that's new
If I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it
Being close to you

But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
It doesn't help to know
That you're so far away"

 

[JosephsDreams]

Or a veggie juice.

 

[ladylynn]

Why don't some of you young people work at planning to meet each other sometime? Now you noticed I said "work at planning to meet" A room full of alone or on their own Christians., who, if they worked at it could be real-time friends who are not alone. Utah is a good example of someone who did something about being without a partner. Can't that be done as well with friends too?

Seems like CC would be a great place to meet other Christians. Many have been here for a long time and have been posting for a long time, so it can be a reasonable assumption that our fellow CCers are not ax murderers.

Just wondering why more people don't meet fellow Christians here?

 

[cinder]

Why don't some of you young people work at planning to meet each other sometime? Now you noticed I said "work at planning to meet" A room full of alone or on their own Christians., who, if they worked at it could be real-time friends who are not alone. Utah is a good example of someone who did something about being without a partner. Can't that be done as well with friends too?

Seems like CC would be a great place to meet other Christians. Many have been here for a long time and have been posting for a long time, so it can be a reasonable assumption that our fellow CCers are not ax murderers.

Just wondering why more people don't meet fellow Christians here?

Distance, finances, and work schedules would be the top 3 reasons. And while it would be fun to get together, it really wouldn't be the same as having someone living in your real life community. I have to make a special effort to see my good friend who lives 30 minutes away, even a CC friend who lived an hour or two away would take some special planning to go see.

 

[GrumpyCrumpet]

Why don't some of you young people work at planning to meet each other sometime? Now you noticed I said "work at planning to meet" A room full of alone or on their own Christians., who, if they worked at it could be real-time friends who are not alone. Utah is a good example of someone who did something about being without a partner. Can't that be done as well with friends too?

Seems like CC would be a great place to meet other Christians. Many have been here for a long time and have been posting for a long time, so it can be a reasonable assumption that our fellow CCers are not ax murderers.

Just wondering why more people don't meet fellow Christians here?

Great idea. I think they ought to do that too.

I was a member of a forum once quite a few years ago and some of the membership got to be fairly close and I know a couple of times they organized meet-ups where people would attend for a weekend. I think they had supper someplace one night, a barbecue one day and maybe some activities. If I remember right, the meet ups were in different areas so people had opportunity to attend whatever was close or convenient to them.

 

[melita916]

i've met one person from cc

and i know others have done the meet-and-greet

 

[seoulsearch]

Why don't some of you young people work at planning to meet each other sometime? Now you noticed I said "work at planning to meet" A room full of alone or on their own Christians., who, if they worked at it could be real-time friends who are not alone. Utah is a good example of someone who did something about being without a partner. Can't that be done as well with friends too?

Seems like CC would be a great place to meet other Christians. Many have been here for a long time and have been posting for a long time, so it can be a reasonable assumption that our fellow CCers are not ax murderers.

Just wondering why more people don't meet fellow Christians here?

Hi Lady ,

Many CC'ers here actually have met each other. I've met about 6 people from CC over the years, and they've all been great. But as Cinder stated, time, money, and distance make it tough to keep in touch or see anyone regularly.

Years ago, there actually were plans to have a site-wide CC Meetup. There was an incredible member here who put together an amazing-sounding get-together that was going to last about 3 days, if I remember correctly. I couldn't go that year because I had to plan my vacation time around the needs of a family member. But several other people said they were interested and there was talk about it being an annual event.

Unfortunately, everyone backed out at the last minute, and the whole thing fell apart and never took place. I don't know all the details, but I sure hope the coordinators didn't lose any of their own money.

Putting together even a small event can be a real challenge. Unfortunately, there ARE people here who've had problems with stalkers so the first issue is, how do you get people together while making sure it's safe for them? The second challenge is, how do you make sure it's fair for everyone so that no one gets stuck paying the tab if everyone backs out? (What if someone plans the event, pays a non-refundable deposit or fee that everyone agrees to split, and then everyone else decides to back out?) I know the first thing I would do if I ever planned an event would be to require a deposit that would either contribute towards shared expenses for the meetup or else be refunded if the person followed through and showed up, and I understand why that would deter a lot of people.

Despite the challenges, I definitely hope to meet more CC members in the future, even if it's just one at a time.

 

[jennymae]

I have met two people on cc irl (or they used to be on, leastways), but I think it is of no count since one of them is my sister and the other one is my brother

 

[ladylynn]

Distance, finances, and work schedules would be the top 3 reasons. And while it would be fun to get together, it really wouldn't be the same as having someone living in your real life community. I have to make a special effort to see my good friend who lives 30 minutes away, even a CC friend who lived an hour or two away would take some special planning to go see.

Hi Cinder, In light of some of the posts, I thought it was less about a simple fun time and more about not wanting to be alone and instead having good Christian friends or companions to add to an otherwise alone life. With no one else to bounce ideas off of or spend time with. Having good friends and companions instead of being alone.

At my age after having had marriage and family and now on my own, I see how very easy it is for a human to get used to being on our own. Many of you guys have not had those things and they are worth going for.

 

[ladylynn]

Great idea. I think they ought to do that too.

I was a member of a forum once quite a few years ago and some of the membership got to be fairly close and I know a couple of times they organized meet-ups where people would attend for a weekend. I think they had supper someplace one night, a barbecue one day and maybe some activities. If I remember right, the meet ups were in different areas so people had opportunity to attend whatever was close or convenient to them.

Hi Grumpy, I don't think getting a large group of CC people together is the answer either. People are very different and it takes time to find out if you want or could stand to spend much time with them. Most often when i come on here it's either to communicate with a few good friends or I'm in the Bible study room talking with people., or the forums. I'm thinking the desire to really have people in our lives would or could outweigh the contentment to keep things as they are.

I've often wondered why there wasn't more of an attempt for people to meet one on one as apposed to getting a bunch of people together. That just seems very complicated and I can see why it doesn't work out successfully.

 

[seoulsearch]

Hi Grumpy, I don't think getting a large group of CC people together is the answer either. People are very different and it takes time to find out if you want or could stand to spend much time with them. Most often when i come on here it's either to communicate with a few good friends or I'm in the Bible study room talking with people., or the forums. I'm thinking the desire to really have people in our lives would or could outweigh the contentment to keep things as they are.

I've often wondered why there wasn't more of an attempt for people to meet one on one as apposed to getting a bunch of people together. That just seems very complicated and I can see why it doesn't work out successfully.

I can only speak for myself, but my biggest challenge in meeting someone is time. I get one vacation week a year, so I have to somehow plan for that to accommodate any visits, emergencies, or big events going on in my life. It's impossible.

The next issue is finances. A plane ticket to most of the places I'd want to go to are around $300 average, but obviously it could be a little more or less, depending on where one is going. If the person you're seeing doesn't have enough room to accommodate a guest, you have to look into finding a hotel. If they have no way of picking you up from the airport, then you have to look into renting a car. And then there are meals. How long are you planning to visit someone? You could easily spend a few thousand dollars on what, a 5-day trip, at most?

Even if I drove, most places would take 1-3 or more days to reach. With only a week at my disposal, I would have to turn around and start heading home the minute I arrived.

Someday I hope I'm able to have a freer schedule, but unfortunately, for now, it's just a dream.

 

[ladylynn]

Hi Lady ,

Many CC'ers here actually have met each other. I've met about 6 people from CC over the years, and they've all been great. But as Cinder stated, time, money, and distance make it tough to keep in touch or see anyone regularly.

Years ago, there actually were plans to have a site-wide CC Meetup. There was an incredible member here who put together an amazing-sounding get-together that was going to last about 3 days, if I remember correctly. I couldn't go that year because I had to plan my vacation time around the needs of a family member. But several other people said they were interested and there was talk about it being an annual event.

Unfortunately, everyone backed out at the last minute, and the whole thing fell apart and never took place. I don't know all the details, but I sure hope the coordinators didn't lose any of their own money.

Putting together even a small event can be a real challenge. Unfortunately, there ARE people here who've had problems with stalkers so the first issue is, how do you get people together while making sure it's safe for them? The second challenge is, how do you make sure it's fair for everyone so that no one gets stuck paying the tab if everyone backs out? (What if someone plans the event, pays a non-refundable deposit or fee that everyone agrees to split, and then everyone else decides to back out?) I know the first thing I would do if I ever planned an event would be to require a deposit that would either contribute towards shared expenses for the meetup or else be refunded if the person followed through and showed up, and I understand why that would deter a lot of people.

Despite the challenges, I definitely hope to meet more CC members in the future, even if it's just one at a time.

Hi Seoul, meeting in huge groups is very complicated and it means someone has to be a planner. If one thing goes wrong with so many people the whole thing can crumble like a card tower.

And the possibility of stalkers eliminated since only friends who have known each other would be emailing one another. But I guess not many have done this enough to make it newsworthy?

I guess it just seems a shame to waste this venue. Oh well. Blessings