Cheer up m8 oneliners

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Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#103
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#103
You know you're dumb when you go to the pet store to buy bird seed & ask how long it takes for the birds to grow.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#105
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#105
If you love something, let it go. Unless it's a balloon...
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#106
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#106
My exercise program is having a lot of stairs in my house and always forgetting things.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#107
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#107
Know why I went off on a tangent? Cos.

(This is a math joke. Nerds will get it. Everyone else move along, nothing to see here.)
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#108
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#108
If you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#109
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#109
I know I'm never going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root . . . . and still be afraid of a spider.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#110
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#110
It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your Facebook page.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#111
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#111
Avoid pawn shops. You'll just get rooked.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#112
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#112
The cool part about naming your kid is you don't have to add 6 numbers to make sure the name is available.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#114
#114
Lynx said:
I know I'm never going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root . . . . and still be afraid of a spider.
Click to expand...
Spiders are gross, that's why:p
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#117
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#117
Can atheists get insurance for acts-of-God?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#118
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#118
I just bought a universal remote. This. Changes. EVERYTHING!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#120
Aug 13, 2014
27,254
9,305
113
#120
It's taken me hours, but I finally put together this IKEA joke.
 
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