Cheer up m8 oneliners

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Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#81
Aug 15, 2009
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#81
Everybody has a photographic memory..... some just don't have film.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#82
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
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#82
If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty.... if I'm laughing, it's because I've already done it.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#83
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
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#83
My bank charges me money for not having enough money in my account..... apparently, I can't even afford to be broke.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#84
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
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#84
Never laugh at your wife's choices..... you are one of them.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#85
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#85
CC is like a box of chocolates..... you never know what you're gonna get, but you're sure there's some nuts in there somewhere.:rolleyes:
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#86
Aug 15, 2009
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#86
Why should I press "1" for English when you're gonna transfer me to someone who doesn't?
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#87
Aug 15, 2009
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#87
You know what is good for your teeth besides milk? Minding your own business.....
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#88
Aug 15, 2009
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179
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#88
Sarcasm is wasted when you have to explain it in crayon.....
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#89
Aug 15, 2009
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#89
Don't wear sandals if your feet look like they could swoop down from the sky & snatch your dinner from a lake.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#90
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
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#90
When you're dead, you don't know it, only others do.....
It's the same way when you're stupid.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#92
Aug 15, 2009
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#92
Did you know that if you didn't have FaceBook, you'd have to call 563 people every morning & tell them what you had for breakfast?
 
B

BeyondET

Guest
#93
#93
"Hungryyyyy, Hungry Jack. They gobble 'em up and the plate comes back for Hungry Jack"
 
B

BeyondET

Guest
#94
#94
Surely you don't mean Shirley
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#95
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#95
Some need their beauty rest while others need to hibernate.....
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#96
Aug 15, 2009
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#96
There was a time you'd say "A penny for your thoughts?" Now you you want to give them 5 bucks to just shut up.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#97
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#97
A recent study shows that obese women live considerably longer than men that point it out to them.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#99
#99
648574f7953ea21979cee49b8a250ce1.jpg
........
 
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