I am going to share my experience with you all and if you judge me, that's your problem.
I've been through a LOT in my life, my parents divorced and remarried, I've been sexually abused, abandoned, forced into seclusion, and any chance of a quality education almost taken from me. People I loved dearly died suddenly. I watched as a year old pup died from parvo, I watched helplessly as the life left her eyes and I was alone while it happened. I was forced to lie in order to go to church.
Then I had the opportunity to leave that cage and I did. But all of that unresolved trauma caused me to have anxiety attacks and depression. I got counseling and I took meds for it.
I am not a violent person. Every person I have hurt physically, I have beat myself up over. I'd get angry at myself and cry.
Except for when my brother and I were learning self defense and I gave him a bloody nose.
The drug I was on was sertraline. The way I understand drugs is this: they go through the system and block certain neurotransmitters in the brain or slow them down considerably. Some block the pathways that exhibit happy emotions while others block sadness, etc. etc.
Depression is really anger turned inwards, unspent nowhere to go causing strain on the body. When I took the sertraline, I was ANGRY ALL THE TIME.
At the time I lived with my Grandma and Grandpa. I love my Grandparents dearly, they have always been more like parents to me than my biological parents. (Please don't misunderstand, I love my parents and now that I'm older and not dependent, I have a better relationship with them)
I started to get violent. I never hit either of my grandparents, to be clear, but I came VERY close. That was when I decided to quit meds and get alternative help through counseling. She taught me coping skills and we worked over forgiveness (which I still struggle with).
I have never been better. Sure, depression and anxiety flare up from time to time, but I know now how to handle it properly.