Wow! The OP could be me, except I used to be an extrovert. Aging has pushed me inward, along with chronic pain and illness.
But I grew up loving camping - I got started in Girl Guides. I used to hike by myself on trails through the Canadian Rockies, and then with my kids and husband when I got older. I lived with wood heat a few years, and I could split a log like no one's business. I remember camping up in northern BC with my kids. My very masculine husband was chopping the first night of our arrival. But he was working in town, so I had to do it the next day. My three boys were cheering me on! I could split most logs first try! It's all about leverage. The boys told ME I was better than dad, but they didn't tell their dad! LOL We did raise them right.
So when I got sick, we moved to camping in a trailer, which is a good thing in your 50's if you are disabled. But yes, I did all the cooking, and I loved baking. I learned a bit in Home Ec, then taught myself with a good cook book. I don't think it is so much that I like cooking and baking, but more that I like eating. My husband can't cook anything! Nothing.
But the garden- been gardening since I was little. I don't like bugs, but I know how to shoo them away or alternately squish them if they are hard on the garden. I actually have a weird variety of wasps that hang out with my veggies. They let me shoo them, and they are so nice. I call them my "friendly wasps." As opposed to the nasty ones that come to campouts and the deck seeking meat and fat.
About 10 years ago, I started in a new church. Two women were speaking Spanish, and I had been studying it. So I tried to speak to them in Spanish and they adopted me as their own. One was actually Brazilian and the other Peruvian. They were the most girly girls I have ever met. One was a hairdresser and she cut my hair, and dressed me up. She was gorgeous. The other got into cake and cookie decorating, and her stuff looks like a picture out of an upscale baking magazine.
But God wanted me to bond with these women. I taught them the Bible, and they helped me with my self esteem. Of course, none of us like scrap booking, and there was a group in our church constantly inviting us. But they were the best friends I have ever had. We moved from there, but when we went back last November, I visited them, and it was like there was no time or distance between us. So yes, a tomboy can have girly friends, and learn and grow.
Just telling you to be open to God's leading. But NOT people trying to shove you into a mold. If you are in a church that believes in "roles" and where women's place is, I would suggest you need to find another church. Read their doctrinal statements to make sure they believe the Bible, but find out if church is a place for the women to play dressup, or a place to grow as a disciple of Jesus.
And don't let these people push you to be someone you aren't! Someone said we are all unique, and I couldn't agree more. God has given us all gifts, and we just need to find them and do them. My girly friend from Peru has the gift of evangelism. She leads more people to Christ in a week than I do in a year. And then follows through with Bible studies in both Spanish and English, creating disciples, not a one time confession.
God has given me gifts, including teaching. But I was a public school teacher, plus my father was a university professor who taught me the joy of teaching. But not everyone has that gift!
As for tools, are you into them? I was forced to make silver jewellry by a old boyfriend, in my teens and early 20's. I learned how to use tools well. I even won a women's hammering contest on the BC logging competition circuit. And I could have, and would have beaten any man! Then I was placed in a situation where I had to build a house. Then a second house. I contracted the second, hired hubby for free to do alot of jobs! I cut down on expenses that way! LOL.
I was at the Occupational Therapist's yesterday getting all manner of splints for wayward joints. She had all the jewellry tools I used, so it brought back a lot of memories. And she enjoyed herself so much doing all these custom made splints. So I am glad I can use a hammer, pliers and all manner of hand tools.
I just want to encourage you to get away from these pastors if they keep doing this to you. If they use the word "role" ask where the word is in the Bible. Because it isn't! Christ set us free from the curse of the law, and the punishment for sinning. Memorize a few key verses and give them back if they start harassing you. And you can always end the conversation by telling them you are going to be looking for a different church if they don't stop teaching and pushing their "other" gospel.
"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Gal. 3:28
"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”—" Gal. 3:13
"if someone comes and proclaims another Jesus than the one we proclaimed, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or if you accept a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up." 2 Cor. 11:4
"not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ." Gal. 1:7
The gospel of Jesus Christ is not and never will be about conforming to roles! It is in fact, about Christ setting us free from our sins, and empowering us to live for him, be disciples and make disciples. Anything else is adding to the gospel, or distorting it!
Oops! Sorry for long ranting post!