I find it hard to go through my things that need work when I'm barely surrounded by other christians. I honestly don't know how to be a christian. How do you receive something by faith? How do you let God help you through something.
Welcome Storrm! That is a rough situation to be in. God will equip you for his service in one way or another though. I hope that it is through a mentor. Someone you can get close to and receive discipleship from. Is there a church you can attend? But also, through reading. Your Bible first and foremost, but you can read other helpful books as well. Just make sure the authors are solid Biblical teachers.
Also, we are here! Start a thread and ask any question you might have. We would love to help you. I would suggest doing it here in the Singles forum, so that the responses are a little more controlled.
A lot of what you are wondering about comes down to trust. Just trusting that God is going to complete his good work in you (as he promised in his Word, the Bible). Relaxing your hold on your life, letting go of your control over things (mentally, emotionally), and trusting that he's going to work everything out as it needs to be. It's hard to do, but believe me when I say that it makes a huge difference. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because we can look back and SEE that God is faithful and that he really does work every detail of our lives out in a way that honors him and helps us become more and more holy.