Stop beating the kids! Spiritual abuse of Christians

[Willie-T]

I think Ariel was merely trying to draw, and illustrate, a parallel between worldly abuse and Spiritual abuse, seeing if we could apply similar techniques of reparation in both applications.

Admittedly, it was a difficult comparison to follow because there was hardly any leading into the explanation of her intent or expected results. Maybe that will improve.

One of the things my wife, a very longtime teacher and tutor, keeps telling me is that one of the biggest things lacking in teaching — from both teachers and students — is the ability to be able to "recognize problem areas, define goals, and stay on task."

 

[Grace777x70]

I think Ariel was merely trying to draw, and illustrate, a parallel between worldly abuse and Spiritual abuse, seeing if we could apply similar techniques of reparation in both applications.

Admittedly, it was a difficult comparison to follow because there was hardly any leading into the explanation of her intent or expected results. Maybe that will improve.

One of the things my wife, a very longtime teacher and tutor, keeps telling me is that one of the biggest things lacking in teaching — from both teachers and students — is the ability to be able to "define goals and stay on task."

We can all profit from learning how to stay on task." Tell your wife "Thank you for this admonishment!"

 

[Grace777x70]

We can all profit from learning how to stay on task." Tell your wife "Thank you for this admonishment!"

As a matter of fact - give her that $100 bucks you owe me that you still say is "in the mail" and tell her to go buy something nice just for herself.

( oppps...I just flunked the staying on task part )

 

[HEIsRiSen]

Well I hope that you can see that I mean no disrespect in anything I say. I have nothing but respect for anybody, hopefully people are seeing this. If they aren't they will... BLESSINGS!

I admit I did get upset because I felt that the thread was misleading and like I was being attacked. I ask forgiveness for stepping on any toes and I forgive also. I just want people to say what they mean and mean what they say. That is not something above attaining. Love is here, we are all children here and we don't have to spiritually beat or bully anybody. The great commandment is love and I love you all. PEACE!

 

[Stephen63]

I can name five trigger words for many on this forum:

Grace

Sin

Law

Repentence

Baptism

Seems you forgot a few.

Conviction

Works

Fruit

Hyper

Obedience

There might be a couple more..... I'm sure Lauren has a few.

 

[LaurenTM]

I think Ariel was merely trying to draw, and illustrate, a parallel between worldly abuse and Spiritual abuse, seeing if we could apply similar techniques of reparation in both applications.

Admittedly, it was a difficult comparison to follow because there was hardly any leading into the explanation of her intent or expected results. Maybe that will improve.

One of the things my wife, a very longtime teacher and tutor, keeps telling me is that one of the biggest things lacking in teaching — from both teachers and students — is the ability to be able to "recognize problem areas, define goals, and stay on task."

well, since this forum is pretty much self moderating, and there are at least 360 degrees of directions to run off in, yeah

but absolutely

I thought twice and then some before posting anything

an analytical mind can get very frustrated round here these parts

not to mention the petty peeves and desire to somehow score points with others

this is not a teaching platform by any means, but some courtesy would go a long ways..

I also really like the idea of being able to kick people out of a thread when they keep throwing it off track and insist on being heard even though they have nothing to contribute other than discord and immaturity

I might get kicked out of a thread myself...but I am willing to take that chance

I saw that really work on another forum...

when someone is struggling even to express themself, it does not help to bully them and throw water all over them

stating the obvious, but you would not know it is obvious reading this thread

 

[LaurenTM]

Seems you forgot a few.

Conviction

Works

Fruit

Hyper

Obedience

There might be a couple more..... I'm sure Lauren has a few.

yes I do

pentecostal

definitely a trigger since the American Pentecostal Assemblies is basically responsible for what myself and many others went through because they did not rein in their star evangelist and instead allowed him to run through the country with his demons and spread them far and wide

yeah

Pentecostal

hate that word

and you can call me joe blow...since Lauren is not my real name anyway

 

[LaurenTM]

one thing spiritually abused people need to do, is give themself PERMISSION to break free of the abuse

depending on who is doing the abusing, that can be very difficult

churches that spiritually abuse do not create the fruit of the Holy Spirit

they create fruit by another spirit....oppression, depression, fear, guilt, and plenty of resentment

 

[Willie-T]

yes I do

pentecostal

definitely a trigger since the American Pentecostal Assemblies is basically responsible for what myself and many others went through because they did not rein in their star evangelist and instead allowed him to run through the country with his demons and spread them far and wide

yeah

Pentecostal

hate that word

and you can call me joe blow...since Lauren is not my real name anyway

Willie isn't mine, either. LOL I also agree with you about Pentecostalism. But you can't throw out the baby with the bath water. One of the reasons I belong to a denomination called "Vineyard" is that they work hard to show forth the best of both Pentecostalism and Evangelism. Both have much good, along with the not-so-good.

 

[Grace777x70]

Spiritual abuse can rear it's ugly head in every denomination and some denominations may have the appearance of being the main culprits but the reality is that it's form of "spiritual abuse" is just more recognizeable now.

If I can use this analogy with still staying on task - a man can physically hit his wife and we can all see that but he can also abuse her by "putting her down verbally in front of people or alone too".

Both are abusive behaviors only one has more "visibility" which I think goes with the different denominations seemingly having more spiritual abusive cases then some others.

So, as Willie says - not all in a group exhibits these traits and some more or less in some degree or other.

 

[LaurenTM]

Willie isn't mine, either. LOL I also agree with you about Pentecostalism. But you can't throw out the baby with the bath water. One of the reasons I belong to a denomination called "Vineyard" is that they work hard to show forth the best of both Pentecostalism and Evangelism. Both have much good, along with the not-so-good.

your real name isn't Willie? is there anything real in this place? (jking kind of)

hey ~ I know about Vineyard having attended a Vineyard church here and FL..actually, to me, they are still one of the best bets for a fit for me

I'm not looking for perfect but I do expect honestly and accountability and genuine service

 

[LaurenTM]

Spiritual abuse can rear it's ugly head in every denomination and some denominations may have the appearance of being the main culprits but the reality is that it's form of "spiritual abuse" is just more recognizeable now.

If I can use this analogy with still staying on task - a man can physically hit his wife and we can all see that but he can also abuse her by "putting her down verbally in front of people or alone too".

Both are abusive behaviors only one has more "visibility" which I think goes with the different denominations seemingly having more spiritual abusive cases then some others.

So, as Willie says - not all in a group exhibits these traits and some more or less in some degree or other.

and water is wet

whose Willie?

no one here by that name ....

 

[Ariel82]

Haven't read post, but for those who want a more closed private discussion, I invite you to this group. Post should only be seen by members.

http://christianchat.com/group.php?groupid=595

Note: we will kick all jerks and disruptive people from the group. If you repeat anything you learn there maliciously, you will be kicked. Once this group is established it will become invite only.

I have to complete some things for my daughter's class tomorrow...we are having a book tasting and i need to make the centerpieces and menus.

 

[tourist]

and water is wet

whose Willie?

no one here by that name ....

You nailed it to a 'T'.

 

[LaurenTM]

You nailed it to a 'T'.

say what?

lost me on that one.........

 

[Willie-T]

This reminds me of two concepts.
"Its not your fault"
"I accept you as you are"

So much of life is due to circumstance and what our family and society we are born
into. So much of what we become is down to things of chance, bad situations, troubled
people, bad teachers etc. We blame ourselves we could have handled it better or not
done this so it is our fault. A strong part of healing is realising it is not our fault, it just
happened. It is what it is and it hurts and is difficult.

Jesus has zero expectations of us, just wants us to understand He loves us. We cannot
become anything by ourselves, it will always be His work in our lives and us following.
He knows everything about us, the rubbish and the good and still He says you are my
beloved. This is the cross, this is God becoming a man and dying for me. Who knows
nothing, who is confused, and lost, and in a world of lost empty people. And yet he
knocks and asks, "Will you invite me in?"

These two things changed me and still changes me. But it seems few see what is
before their eyes, how deep is the love He has for us.

My family an emotional wreck, in a society of fake everything without any real
knowledge of life and love, chasing after dreams and show, as the kids slowly die
before their parents eyes. But in there Jesus plants a seed. Love matters, love
is the Key, love overcomes and changes all before it in Christ. But it takes years
to build and put in place where a desert blows and fear of betrayal locks hearts
away.

I wish you would quit that. It is posts like this one that confuse me and mislead me to think that you actually CAN be conversant.... and I used to let my guard down, and try. Then, you would revert to the disorganized, convoluted, meaningless strings of posts that usually bear your name. But, I am slowly learning not to be duped by these "flashes in the pan."

 

[tourist]

say what?

lost me on that one.........

You asked who was Willie. If you add a -T you have Willie-T.

 

[Ariel82]

I want to share a funny side of child abuse of a parent by a child.
My youngest daughter was very possessive.
When she used to sleep between us in bed as a baby, I was not allowed to cuddle mum.
As she grew older, I was less than second best, I was nothing, mum was everything.

Over the years it was always I was rubbish, and terrible and anything I said
in a discussion between mum and me was wrong.

We talked about this properly for the first time recently, she is 17.
And she still remembers pushing me away and wanting "my mummy"

Now this is not intended, it is literally part of how she was built.
It has taken great patience to not over-react, and to slowly build things.

So some things in relationships are these deep emotional reactions which
are not chosen, but happen and need to be worked with. And you can definately
laugh about them, because when we understand who we are, we can start to chose
who we want to become. It makes things very hard when we never get to first
base and find out who we actually are and how we react deep down.

Why didn't your wife step in?

My kids did that and I told them sometimes mom is busy, cuddle with dad or play by yourself in your room.

My husband out His foot down and said that we needed time together and the kids needed to learn to sleep in their own rooms once they stop nursing. If they slept in our bed, I was in the middle and they learnt to share.

That isnt an example of a child abusing you. Its an example of a mistake made by parents to allow the child no boundaries and be spoiled into the false belief that parents are servants and not actual parents.

Many have that false belief about God.

If they throw a temper tantrum, then God will give in like their parents.
.that isn't love.

 

[Ariel82]

Why do people believe that the forums are a place to teach or learn deep theological truths.

This is not a church. Its not even really a Bible study, because most people don't do their homework.

Did my original post make you think I was trying to lecture and teach anyone anything?

Or was it more questions and resources?

I have never claimed to be a teacher. I have stated repeatedly that I was just a sheep, discussing with other sheep what the Shepherd has told us.

Obviously, some folks don't like the discussion. Instead of acting like mature adults and finding a thread they do want to discuss.

Well, actions speak for themselves.

Well for now, you can claim victory. I will retreat back into my shell and shut up.

If you want to find me, I will be hidden in Christ.

 

[LaurenTM]

hmmmmmmm.......

you know, I think some people have to compulsively supply answers because it reassures them they Have the answers

then they get all prickly when questioned or defensive

one thing about the cross...your arms are wide open and you cannot defend yourself and since you are naked, there are no excuses either

an open heart can be hurt...but that is what love is about...but at the same time, we can kind of peek out from behind Jesus and offer the little that we have...until we understand better and step out side by side

your heart expands the more of Christ you take in...anyway, it's a picture in my mind and so I try to explain it both to myself and anyone caring to listen I guess