Kim: My problem with that scenario would be that you're the only one in that town I know, so if you stopped replying to texts I wouldn't know who to call to check on you. >.>
MollyConner: What you were talking about I see a lot online, but I don't see it at all locally. Maybe it's because I live here in the south. Maybe it's different in other places.
I live in the South (Texas) too but I go to a very liberal university. 0_0 For example it's common to have signs all over the school with things like "Not my President" or "Don't judge!" or "Slut Pride!" or even "Buy your pussy hat now." The only reason I go to that school is because I go free and I guess it's better than going to a more conservative school and having to get loans.
The other day my family was talking and then mentioned that a relative's daughter is a lesbian. The daughter is my age. Anyways, she lives there with her mom and her lesbian lover. They have a bedroom together and the mom allows it. They're Christians too. I made the comment "I don't know how a mom could allow that in her house!" then my uncle said "well we shouldn't judge them...what can she do?" I told him "she could kick her daughter out!" Then my cousin said "yeah but we have to love people no matter what." When did I say I didn't love them? It's like Rick Warren said.
[h=1]“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”[/h]My point is not so much that I'm not judging. It's that by telling me "stop judging," you're essentially judging me...for judging others. At least that's the way I see it. I feel judged when they tell me to stop judging. I don't really care...I don't feel like a victim, but it is annoying for people to keep saying "don't judge."
The other point was the virgin shaming. I expect it as school and I've learned to never talk about it in public. I have female friends in class and I wouldn't tell that I am one because I know they would react negatively or treat me differently. Obviously, I don't lie and say I've been with guys, but I don't talk about it.
But what surprises me is seeing it in the church too. A few months ago during summer I led a Bible study for teen girls on the topic of modesty and the importance of waiting. The girls liked it and I could tell they got a lot out of it. But one of the moms yelled at me. This lady doesn't go to church anymore, thank God. But she yelled at me because she said I was shaming her daughter and that her daughter could do as she pleases. If she wants to wear a crop top, she can. Of course I didn't tell them not to wear certain things but that some articles of clothing can cause men to stumble. I told them that if we love God, we follow his commandments and read his word. I told them that it's important to wait until marriage because the word says so.
So that mom was upset about the modesty talk and because I said that if we loved God we would at least try our best to wait until marriage. I even talked about healing from sexual activity and how God renews us. But this mom was so focused on my "backwards" views that she didn't care to listen when I tried explaining. I was kinda scared honestly...but I had my Pastors' support so at least there's that.