Teen son with 26yo woman
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H
Which part has you so chapped?
The part where I rightly tell her she blew it with this kid?
She threw him to the wolves when he was 13.
The kid's 17 now, and less than eight months from being an adult.
The genie's out of the bottle and won't be put back in.
I just tell it like it is.
The part where I rightly tell her she blew it with this kid?
She threw him to the wolves when he was 13.
The kid's 17 now, and less than eight months from being an adult.
The genie's out of the bottle and won't be put back in.
I just tell it like it is.
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You know, in common law, which rules when there is a lack of specific legislation, getting married or providing for your own care, makes you an adult too. Right now in Virginia, we have females as young as 14, considered adults. They changed the law last year, if a girl is under 18, the marriage license has to come under judicial review, but they will still issue it. What is funny is, a guy has to be 18 to marry, no exceptions.
J
And thanks so much for labeling every 17 year old guy as "immature with hormones raging" and "libido of a jackrabbit"(don't even have to look it up a very common prejudice stereotype,presuming that young guys all just can't keep themselves under control and just run after sexual urges toward their opposite gender looking to fulfill them) a tired old saying that gets tossed around in some way because sure there aren't immature girls or women,guys are always the sex crazy ones,if that were true then why are there so many true story documentaries of females getting with guys so "early" in life?
The answer:Guys just like Females have the capacity to be "mature" or "immature" and even impulsively have sexual intimacy or not,17 is an age not a mystery solved,for example at 17 I didn't seek any sexual relations,and even at 25 I'm not seeking any because "I wanted and still do want a serious relationship not some immature one night stand".
Although for some an impulsive relationship can become a "mature relationship" for instance I have a cousin that at 14 or 15 got with a girl he liked about his age and she got pregnant,but instead of their relationship falling apart my cousin got 2 jobs,graduated high school,has multiple kids and he compared to my cousins that are in there thirties and him in his twenties is one whom is "more mature" and still doing great where as other relationships of my cousins are irresponsible so called adults having kids and not taking care of their children,age can play a factor in a relationship's downfall or uplifting,but the age itself tells next to nothing if you know next to nothing about the individual,and even then you can't "be sure" how things will end up,like I honestly thought my impulsive cousin wouldn't be able to handle a relationship and child at such a young age but he decided he would do whatever he could for his new family and things ended up great.
It's not our ages or genders that makeup "who we become" it is our "choices" and "experiences" that shape our lives not how old or young we are in general,because what an individual goes through in this walk of life,can change them to what you may not predict,and we all no matter what age still have "much to learn" God knows all but we don't and so we must "consider" what is "true" not "presume" and "speak out" because we may "hurt someone" without knowing it instead of help them.
The answer:Guys just like Females have the capacity to be "mature" or "immature" and even impulsively have sexual intimacy or not,17 is an age not a mystery solved,for example at 17 I didn't seek any sexual relations,and even at 25 I'm not seeking any because "I wanted and still do want a serious relationship not some immature one night stand".
Although for some an impulsive relationship can become a "mature relationship" for instance I have a cousin that at 14 or 15 got with a girl he liked about his age and she got pregnant,but instead of their relationship falling apart my cousin got 2 jobs,graduated high school,has multiple kids and he compared to my cousins that are in there thirties and him in his twenties is one whom is "more mature" and still doing great where as other relationships of my cousins are irresponsible so called adults having kids and not taking care of their children,age can play a factor in a relationship's downfall or uplifting,but the age itself tells next to nothing if you know next to nothing about the individual,and even then you can't "be sure" how things will end up,like I honestly thought my impulsive cousin wouldn't be able to handle a relationship and child at such a young age but he decided he would do whatever he could for his new family and things ended up great.
It's not our ages or genders that makeup "who we become" it is our "choices" and "experiences" that shape our lives not how old or young we are in general,because what an individual goes through in this walk of life,can change them to what you may not predict,and we all no matter what age still have "much to learn" God knows all but we don't and so we must "consider" what is "true" not "presume" and "speak out" because we may "hurt someone" without knowing it instead of help them.
My older brother passed away last year. Virtually everyone in town attended his service. He was loved and respected by many.His accomplishments, too many to mention. He met, dated, married and enjoyed 46 years of his life with a wonderful woman. He was 18 when he married........she was 17.......so much for the "maturity" argument. Thanks for your insight, Joe.
7
right
well the op should take great comfort in the fact that a few have beaten the odds and made it
no one else read the papers and understand the facts of life these days?
making an arguement for an exeption is simply that. an exception
my grandmother married at 16 to a man in his 20's and had 3 children before the age of 20
EVERYBODY in Europe was into that prior to WWII
nowdays, sex at 13 is not shocking anymore. a few kids without marriage is also not shocking
well how dee doo...abortion is not shocking. alot of people are fine with the 3rd trimester...off with his head
man
wake up
WHY is the op concerned? she should be
well the op should take great comfort in the fact that a few have beaten the odds and made it
no one else read the papers and understand the facts of life these days?
making an arguement for an exeption is simply that. an exception
my grandmother married at 16 to a man in his 20's and had 3 children before the age of 20
EVERYBODY in Europe was into that prior to WWII
nowdays, sex at 13 is not shocking anymore. a few kids without marriage is also not shocking
well how dee doo...abortion is not shocking. alot of people are fine with the 3rd trimester...off with his head
man
wake up
WHY is the op concerned? she should be
I'm not sure scripture really covers this, so I'll just give my personal opinion.
My personal opinion is that having an age gap of a few years isn't such a big deal...
unless one of the people is extremely young.
So in this case, if I was the parent, I'd be concerned.
I do think it's biblical, and reasonable, and probably necessary, to be involved in the life of your 17-year-old when he's making big decisions that can impact his life.
My advice would be to absolutely get involved in this.
But "get involved" could mean a lot of different things, and whatever you do should probably be done with a lot of care and wisdom.
I think talking to the pastor a lot is probably a good idea.
My personal opinion is that having an age gap of a few years isn't such a big deal...
unless one of the people is extremely young.
So in this case, if I was the parent, I'd be concerned.
I do think it's biblical, and reasonable, and probably necessary, to be involved in the life of your 17-year-old when he's making big decisions that can impact his life.
My advice would be to absolutely get involved in this.
But "get involved" could mean a lot of different things, and whatever you do should probably be done with a lot of care and wisdom.
I think talking to the pastor a lot is probably a good idea.
I echo some of the others: there is a reason they don’t want their relationship to be known, and the reason is a good one. I too am surprised that she would want to date someone so young – maybe she is immature. Anyway, I would talk to her, talk to your team leader if that person is mature enough to handle something like this, or to your pastor if they aren’t. Things need to be squeaky clean if you are handling worship. Sneaking around having a questionable relationship isn’t that. Good luck.
This is a very sensitive situation for sure. I'm thankful you and your husband are on the same page and have spoken to your son. Have you spoken to the other person? My first inclination would be to speak to her and let her know how y'all feel and what the expectations are and what you are prepared to do if it does not stop. My prayer is the situation will be resolved before getting out of hand and there are more far reaching consequences. Hugs and prayers from Texas
If there were a 26-year-old man interested in a godly 17-year-old girl, friends, but interested in each other, I'd probably advise him to go talk to her dad. With the ages reversed, it just seems a bit weirder. It would be hard for there not to be a role-reversal in terms of submission and leadership if they did get married-- not saying it has to be that way. Anyway, it would be challenging in some ways if they actually got married.
What are your sons views on dating? I think most Americans have it all wrong on the purpose of dating, thinking dating for recreation is okay, rather than dating with an intention to find a marriage partner. What have you taught your son about this?
I told my kids no dating until they get old enough to get married. In the country we live in, this is less challenging than it would be in the US because there seems to be less social pressure on them to date. Dating too young opens up all kinds of temptation to fornication, and what good is it to date people you have nearly 0% chance of actually marrying?
Why don't you have a talk with the 26-year-old, point out your son is a minor? The fact that she is dating an underaged teen and the parents have this conversation might jolt her a bit to realize that...yes.. she is 26 and this is a high school aged teenager.
They say the brain isn't fully developed until 25-years-old. I suspect some people's brains never fully develop. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to get married.
Practically, I do not like this age difference because of the potential relationship dynamic. The scenario with the man being a bit older makes more sense, IMO. At 17, most men aren't even close to being able to support a wife, either, so why rush to date?
Practically, I do not like this age difference because of the potential relationship dynamic. The scenario with the man being a bit older makes more sense, IMO. At 17, most men aren't even close to being able to support a wife, either, so why rush to date?