Just to Vent

[IDEAtor]

Random poem... gets cheesey at the end...

"Her cue to cry"

She lost him not so long ago,
even though he died about a year ago.
Because in her home, she could remember him.
But when she moved out, her memory quit.
Now she remembers the thought of him,
but she cannot see the life she built with him.
And so she cries, trying to recall good times,
but without those cues, she cannot find.
And so she gets angry at her new estate.
A smaller place that she's come to hate.
And as for friends, she has a few that are new.
But as for those they shared together, they are gone, too.
For they turned their backs on the squeaking wheel,
though she's extra support to their family meals.
And so she's lost more than her man recently.
She lost her neighborhood, and community.
But thanks to God and a couple of support.
She's not alone, floundering with two unwanted worlds to sort.
Instead she's got them, and they count her in on a number of meals.
She shares, and they listen, and the concern is "for real...z"
So, while unwanted, and unthinkable, the woman keeps living.
Her new world is a hard one, but she thanks for how God's giving.
And so as I see this, as a witness of chance.
I am compelled to mourn with her, and to ask her to dance.
For there is a time to stay solemn, to be still in deep pause...
but then there's a time to move on, to copy Christ's Cause.
And that's to meet people grieving, and to help them in one's pain.
... to encourage a questioner... to trust in God's Reign.
For all people will fail, with intention or time,
but God's Intention to Love... is Everlasting, Sublime.

 

[IDEAtor]

"A tough topic"

You count on me to speak up.
To be the man, to be the one who breaks the ice.
But do you wonder what's under the ice, once broken?
I was here before fall, before the hardening of heart.
Before the layers piled on, as seasons only grew colder.
I know how the picking never ends, how people try to get through.
But instead of chipping the encasing tomb,
their sharpened optimism grows dull, as metal pieces are frozen into place.
And I know how people can wonder, knocking as casual passer-by,
as if someone will answer.
But the truth is, "CAN anyone answer?"
The questions are so deep, so hidden through time's transparencies,
that they never leave the minute amount of space they take up.
So... I can try to break the ice,
I can intend for us to laugh it off-- but an avalanche can be painful.
I can attempt to get teary eyed, but that will blind me with another seal.
I can try to call for help, but I have no voice in me.
Which brings me to a glaring issue...
then WHY do you wait?
What do you think is worth your patience tested (which deserves more than recognition)?
What do you hope to mine from me?
Don't you get it, I am not like a cave of plunder.
There's no gem with me.
There is confusion at the center.
That's not covered by any warranty.
But I can guarantee,
even though I am in a solid and troubling situation.
If you keep praying, instead of preaching...
there can be a miracle.
And so, don't count on me to lean on you.
But trust in God's Breaking Through.


Prayer:
Lord, while this poem seems dark.
While it seems hopeless in heart.
It is actually shows how Hope continues.
And how You can reach the unreachable.
Therefore, for anyone feeling this sense of need,
or conflicting emotions, I ask that you
add comfort to the difficulty, the impossible pain that somehow happens!
And that You show compassion as you have shown it to me.
Lord, I thank you... and I'll never express it the way I need to...
But I thank you for all Are and Do.
Thank you for your unfailing love.
Just... thank You.
In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[IDEAtor]

"The Fall Trip and Faith"
Part 1 (there may never be a part 2)

Departing for a distant land, a known one, yet unwanted.
I take my pride where it will not stand.
I'm on my own and homeless.

To battle a ride with such aching inside is nothing I ever dreamed of.
But the bumps and the bruising don't mean i'm losing.
Only that there's pain that God knows I'll grow from.

The daylight is rising,
but my eyes are just closing.
The journey is more than I planned for.

I wonder about the chapter closed,
even as I start to doze.
"Is that all, or is there a chance that there's still more?"

And even if there is, what would be in store?
For the promise is nothing this moment.
I can wrestle in my sleep, or stay awake, becoming weak.
Or I can trust that God will grant rest to regroup from it.

Now read Hebrews 12

 

[IDEAtor]

Roller blades are on,
I am set on a sloping path.
I know the breaks should work.
But how long will they last?
I am stepping on the back.
I am crouching toward the ground,
the speed's too much for me.
and a car can't turn around.
I am teetering on my skates,
as gravity throws my weight.
All my fearlessness is recklessness.
And the end is in my way.
I am gulping in the dust,
I am grasping for sky.
I have lost all solid trust...
in the wheels on which I ride.
And the pavement's impatient pulling,
is added threat to rising fear.
In split-second decision,
I know my corpse is near.
But then the pain in my hands and bottom,
they remind me, "You're alive."
So I laugh off near-call collision,
and find the courage to re-try.
I am a bit better now, as I continue blading.
Sure, I still hurt a bit.
But I grow by grace and training.

 

[loverofjesus27]

Ideator, venting since 2016, haha that’s all i learned.

 

[IDEAtor]

A man lost his wife this year. He first entered the choir timidly and mostly wanting to just skip it.
But as the choir director broke the ice, tipped his hat to the senior, and encouraged participation,
that frail shadow of a man became a beaming member of something greater.

Today, during a morning practice, the transfigured example to me had sung for an hour or more.
He may not have had the breath, the beat, or the notes as the sheet music lays out. But the
80-something widower fervently answered the director's call to close in prayer.

If it is possible to hear something shine, then I heard it in this man's hope to be in Heaven.
I witnessed it in the man's thanksgiving and joy, even as he learns how to live without his partner-and-wife of many years.
Yes, the man who is slow to move compels me to count blessings today, everyday.

Even if I see none in my life. Even if I am that closed to what God is doing in me,
I pray I will rejoice as others rejoice. If I miss notes, miss loved ones, miss highlights that heaven alone holds--
I should remember this man. I should think of how God clothes him in light, even as he sits in the shadow of taller men.
Even as he wonders about his worth, I have no doubt that my short time of knowing him is immeasurable in spiritual impact.

Yes, the other night, only the two of us on sat on stage. He was wondering if we should still sing "if there's just two of us."
But even as he posed the question, people started entering through each doorway. And as soon as he saw them, his chest perked up as if to sing praise. He knew he had good company.

And you know what?
So do I.

 

[Solemateleft]

Wow, thanks for sharing... you obviously have both talent and passion with your blessed gift of writing style.. You should have your work published - if you have not already...

 

[IDEAtor]

I walked with you,
and you spotted a penny.
We walked some more,
and found another.
By the end of it all,
you found more money,
a ring and an earring.
Thank you, Father.

 

[IDEAtor]

My walk is nothing to follow. My strength is nothing to lean on.
My words are nothing special. And my imagination is limited.

I am a drab painting that is overly dry. And the more I seek to correct, the more I scratch the surface.
And when I seek to add lines, color, and unique design-- I end up smudging, smearing, and ultimately further ruining
any positive portrayal.

I am a fist that cannot close. A hand that cannot hold on. I am fingers that may try but cannot move.
Yes, I am hindered by weakness. But even when my strength was there, I was fallible. I'm so frail.

I am a heart that needs completion. I race all day and get nowhere at all. I am encased in a state of uncertain survival.
I am expected to bring oxygen to just one person and yet I face asphyxiation and so i skip out on assisting like I should.

I am no one to depend on. I am no one chase after. I am no alias to follow or "like."
I am just somebody who requires hope, Hope that will not Fail.

Otherwise, my time here is a complete waste.

Thankfully, no matter how others may feel,
I have a Hope,
a Future,
a Goal,
and God Himself is the Reason I live.

And He Enables me with more than enough.
More than what I need. More than I want.
More than you expect of me.
And more than I have come to expect of myself.

Himself, the Fullness of God, the Prince of Peace, the Comforter.
Truth and Loving-kindness expressed through the only Ever-Holy Being.
The one who can make all things possible, because with Him they are.
In the name of Jesus, the one who gives authority to love sacrificially, to the glory of the Father.
Yes, the Totality of the Infinite is invested in me.

Even if my faith is lacking, He Provides.
Even if my love is pathetic, He Provides.
Even if my hope, even that, is missing, He Provides.


The hope I depend on is not my own.
But He made himself known.
Because He considered a poor frame, suffering flesh, and heart that could die.
So if He did it-- why can't I?

Alone, I can't.
Selfishly, I won't.

But relying on Him, the Hope of Nations, I will follow Him.
And I will be strengthened by His Word.
And I will believe in Christ and live Abundantly.

Not as i would have it...
but according to His Will.

Therefore, I thank the Lord,
as the old hymn says,
"He hath done good things."

Psalm 126:3
New International Version
The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

New Living Translation
Yes, the LORD has done amazing things for us! What joy!

English Standard Version
The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad.

New American Standard Bible
The LORD has done great things for us; We are glad.

King James Bible
The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
The LORD had done great things for us; we were joyful.

International Standard Version
The great things that the LORD has done for us gladden us.


Prayer:
I need to put my trust in You,
my Living Hope. When i am weak,
please lift me up. And should you strengthen me, help me to be more humble than strong.

My days are said to be numbered. But I do not know the value of them.
At any rate, teach me to count them as a blessing, because You are Everlasting and Good.
Provide as you will. And help me to live accordingly. In Jesus name, amen.

Oh, and do not let this prayer be words slowly written. I mean what is said. You are why i Continue. Amen.

 

[IDEAtor]

I walk towards the reflection,
but it takes me farther from what is real.
I seek the waves, but I miss the summon of something surreal.
I draw nearer to a shining, dancing, glimmer of hope.
But the one in whom I find peace, I have turned my back on.
I am wanting, running, and more thankful than my actions say.
My focus faces the wrong direction.
As love stands off in the distance.

 

[IDEAtor]

"Remembered and blessed"

You say those who mourn will be comforted.
I sing praise because I know it is true.
But I still have moments of remembering.

And the pangs flair up.
As old flames taunt.
I am wounded under the scars,
because my searing past rekindles.

The I am told that the merciful will be shown mercy,
and I know this is true also. But how long until it is found?

The jaw-dropping, face-slapping, time-stopping, sudden turn of events
seem to crank up their torturous shocks to the heart. And I am a spectator of my own demise.

"Blessed are those who are persecuted"... "because of righteousness." But what about those who suffer because of how hurt reverberates?

The endless treading is killing me. When can I simply stand again?
Until then, I believe that people are blessed and that I am one of them.

I choose to focus on those receiving rewards and the one giving them.
Otherwise, I might choke due to holding my breath...
for the wrong reason...
and length of time.

 

[IDEAtor]

"Benefit"

by IDEAtor on 11/5/2017
Ephesians 4:29

[SUP]29 [/SUP]Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up[SUP](B)[/SUP] according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.-- Bible Gateway


Don't rise to fall, rise to shine.
Your works should be a lovely kind.
Not a bitter, "I'm-much-better" kind.
But the type that blows the mind.
Because your sacrifice.
Because you save a life.
Because you restrain to complain
about one's harder plight.
Improve with others,
while helping them.
Don't merely treat those you meet as means to end.
Instead, befriend.
Then, as you reach new heights, you won't give in to condescend.
You'll be alright.
Otherwise,
you will forfeit chance,
to have someone with whom to dance.
To that finish line,
a Better Day.
Because you thought you knew an easy way.
And that would be ironic at worst...
You'd end up last, not tied with first.
So, shine, don't fall. Add true love to all.
And everyone will be much better.
No matter the journey, don't hinder each other.

--IDEA

 

[IDEAtor]

Random thoughts: from the back row

Sitting in the back row,
my head is on the pew-back,
I am weary, starved, and ready to take what is given.
The song is sung,
the pastor preaches while praying.
The message is inspiring and gives hope.
But the tiredness is there.
I am fed, but exhaustion lingers.
Where now?
What now?
To whom can I turn, now?

The drive is slow on purpose.
There is no rush to anywhere.

A heart still grieves.

The motive is love.
The desire is to encourage.
Unity is the hope.
And a miracle is the need.

But none of that is permitted.

"Be patient" is the news.
"Wait" is the command.

And so I turn, rapidly, to become wholeheartedly in agreement.
To listen for God's voice over my own.

And, this time, i hear Him.
I actually get the message.

But is it just me?
Is it just my perception?
Or is there another getting these notes?

Lord, your word speaks about knowledge.
If I have it, let me accept it as you intend.
Wherever I lack, pour in.

I need You, Lord.
Because of your sufficient Grace, I'll always want You.

So, strength is not so important, when I consider How You Never Tire.
And so I endure.
Because You are my Abundant Supply.

Therefore, get the praise, honor, and glory.
i can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

 

[IDEAtor]

Nothing
to
write
or
say
or
do,
I
simply
trust
you.

Still me.
Be You.

 

[revken1]

wow, what a great poem! I absolutely love the stanzas, they work really well. it's almost like one I woulda written

 

[IDEAtor]

"Because I must"

I choose to thank you Lord.
I choose to praise your name.
I choose to point to Jesus.
I choose run after you.
I choose to work for you.
I choose to listen for you,
to listen to you. and to share.
I choose to rejoice in the sufferings of now.
I choose to think on the scriptures that teach, correct, encourage.
I choose life, not death, unless it is for the cause of Christ.
I choose to love someone else today.
I choose to trust, having faith in the Almighty.
I choose to stand the ground I am on, or to move to the Solid Rock, if I am not there already.
I choose to think of others with thanksgiving in my heart, even those who have wronged me.
And I choose to forgive myself, for any wrongs I have done myself.
I choose let you Lord, as if I had a choice, to do Whatever Your Will, as if I have a voice.
I choose to make a gift, to give to another in need.
I choose to look at something simple and see a masterpiece.
I choose to count the blessings, or count in a blessing that others are actually counting.
And I choose to remember Lord that you Gove more than aplenty.
I choose to praise You because no one else Deserves It.
But why do you choose me Lord?
I need the fruit of the spirit.
I need to remain in Christ.
I need to be broken still,
pruned again.
I need to be tended to.
And must be firmly Planted.
Otherwise, I am a mist without Hope,
vapor without Oxygen.
i am me... without You.

So, Lord, I choose to accept what's Given, or Taken away.
I choose to Honor You with what I have, may attain, or have in memory.
I choose to praise your name.
I choose to keep leaning your way.

What else can I do?
Lord, help me make wiser decisions.
i rely on You.

--IDEA

 

[IDEAtor]

"Inspiring steps"

I am the underside of a stairway,
overlooked, passed by, stepped on.

I cast a shadow against the floor.
There is enough room to hide,
but there is room for one.

I promise protection from the elements,
but the wind throws a curve-ball.

I am stuck where I am,
while I watch fans, talent, and visitors
surpass me, non-stop.
I am thankful for the use,
even with neglect.

In fact, it brings me pain to see others rejected.
Like when the season turns, or the doors and gates are locked.
When there are those persons seeking but not finding, because they cannot enter in.

Yes, as mundane as it is,
to see the progress of others--
against encumbering stillness--
I prefer their momentum
to any good dream's demise.

Therefore, I hold my stance,
to uphold others. I stand my ground,
so many more will achieve new heights.

I may be forgotten,
but I will faithfully serve to my best.

I am the underside of a stairway.

 

[tourist]

"Inspiring steps"

I am the underside of a stairway,
overlooked, passed by, stepped on.

I cast a shadow against the floor.
There is enough room to hide,
but there is room for one.

I promise protection from the elements,
but the wind throws a curve-ball.

I am stuck where I am,
while I watch fans, talent, and visitors
surpass me, non-stop.
I am thankful for the use,
even with neglect.

In fact, it brings me pain to see others rejected.
Like when the season turns, or the doors and gates are locked.
When there are those persons seeking but not finding, because they cannot enter in.

Yes, as mundane as it is,
to see the progress of others--
against encumbering stillness--
I prefer their momentum
to any good dream's demise.

Therefore, I hold my stance,
to uphold others. I stand my ground,
so many more will achieve new heights.

I may be forgotten,
but I will faithfully serve to my best.

I am the underside of a stairway.

I'm merely a rung.

 

[Noela87]

My line

Punch and Judy make my story come alive,
Both angry yet meant to be together
I struggle with people and the path of my line.
Be they players or actors,
Meaningful or pretending,
The guard to my limits gets stronger and more defined
Sometimes life purposely throws a curveball
Which confuses you
But because you're sporty
You endure and remain in the ranks.
I love life, it is a gift to enjoy
I feel bad for the poor and downtrodden
But when my life shifts to another direction
I feel enlivened by the thought that my God is with me,
I can trust and fully depend on Him,
Which is beautiful and poetic
Because He is so good and accommodating of all of us.

 

[IDEAtor]

My line

Punch and Judy make my story come alive,
Both angry yet meant to be together
I struggle with people and the path of my line.
Be they players or actors,
Meaningful or pretending,
The guard to my limits gets stronger and more defined
Sometimes life purposely throws a curveball
Which confuses you
But because you're sporty
You endure and remain in the ranks.
I love life, it is a gift to enjoy
I feel bad for the poor and downtrodden
But when my life shifts to another direction
I feel enlivened by the thought that my God is with me,
I can trust and fully depend on Him,
Which is beautiful and poetic
Because He is so good and accommodating of all of us.

I like this poem. "Punch and Judy" is a catchy way to start, truly helping your "story come alive."

I also like the "I love life, (because) it is a gift to enjoy."

All I am saying is, keep writing lines.


--IDEA