caught my son watching xxxx
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@Pontiac
1. Amazing how you join CC and 2 days later (the first posts you made!) you are telling everyone where to go, and when to get off. It would behoove you to get to know people here before you go off the rails on a witch hunt. Unless you are a banned member returning, and you actually do know everyone you are attacking. But, that needs to be dealt with on a different level.
2. So, please let us know how many children you have, and how well they turned out. I hope they are all perfect, because you certainly seem to know everything about everything.
If you are NOT a parent, then just go someplace else. Unless you are recalling some bad childhood experiences you had, and we can all already see whatever happened to you didn't work out for good.
@Marc
At first when you were talking about "spanking naked" I confess to being a bit shocked and horrified. I didn't do that, I can't imagine a woman stripping her pre-teen and/or teenage boys, and spanking them. So, they got hit through their pants! (My daughter never got spanked, because she literally never disobeyed or did anything wrong - she just sort of raised herself perfectly. Maybe watching her brothers was all the information she needed to make good decisions as a toddler and on upwards, as she always did.)
So no, I never pulled down my kids pants and spanked them. And then I remembered - right, that is how I was spanked! And it really stung! There was nothing sexual about it, it was just what parents did in those days. It didn't damage or hurt me in any way. But, when I started being "beaten" which was outbursts of anger, and fists flying everywhere, especially when I was in the right - well, that damaged me! So much that I ran away from home at 17, and never returned. But nothing to do with discipline and getting spanked when I was younger.
But, my husband thought spanking our boys was important, and so did I. As they moved into their early teens, I read something about never using your hand to spank, so I used a wooden spoon. My boys were super athletes, in competitive everything sports. They had HARD butts! In fact, I started breaking wooden spoons over them. And do you know what they would do when that happened? They would all laugh hysterically! They thought it was funny, especially because I made everything from scratch and loved my wooden spoons for cooking.
So, one day, one of them disobeyed me. I told him to lean over the counter. He offered to get the wooden spoon for me, so I could "break it over his butt again!" More hysterical laughter! That was the last time that I or my husband spanked them. And really, they were good kids. They knew right from wrong, and they also knew God. But they were rambunctious boys, not angels, and sometimes they forgot or bent the rules.
So, after that, the threat was "no hockey" if they broke a rule. Since they played almost every day, year round, this was a serious issue. Plus, they had NHL dreams (one did play a bit in the NHL, the other decided on a 5 year scholarship to university), so they took that more seriously, once they were able to intellectually connect the punishment of not going to hockey, with their disobedience.
So, how did they turn out? All are happily married, lots of university degrees, great careers, own their own houses, and never in trouble with the law. How did I turn out, having been stripped naked and spanked? (My parents were not Christians, by the way!) Well, happily married almost 38 years, 4 happy kids, 5 wonderful grandchildren, a good career teaching, now working ministry, and just applying to a PhD program.
In fact, the worst thing that happened to me, was my parents telling me something I did was wrong, to do with morality when I got older, and their answer was "Because we say so!" Even then I would think, "So this is not about what God says, just their random rules!"
So, I think the OP needs to spend a lot of time with his son. Read the Bible together. Read passages about respecting women. Read some psychological and physiological papers about how porn literally damages the brain. And child locks, of course on all devices as some have mentioned. Explain clearly and repeatedly how wrong porn is, from every angle you can. Because it is just that bad.
And when he understands why it is wrong, both in a spiritual and secular way, and he does it, I think he needs to be disciplined. Since you cannot spank, which I think is part of his problem, then find other ways to punish. Take away all devices and fun toys. If he also likes Lego, for example, take it away, and tell him he is not going to enjoy himself in any way for a while, until he understands how evil porn is.
When I grew up, in Canada, we had something called the "strap" at school. It was used to punish kids with 3 black marks. It helped discipline, but I know of 2 examples where children were beaten badly, and that is why it was removed from schools. Because power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely!
Also the OP should explain the reasons why it does not matter what "everyone else is doing." Our society has bent over backwards to adopt liberal views of discipline to mean that any kind of punishment is child abuse.
I was a teacher for many years, my daughter is a social work in Child Prevention, or as I fondly call it "child abduction from their parents." Now, she knows I am joking. She has to follow the laws with regards to punishment. But, there is a vast difference between a irresponsible dad or mom, who are not feeding or clothing their child properly, and maybe hitting them anger, than a parent losing it because their child did some so repugnant, the parent was overcome.
Child abuse is a serious issue, I know! But not one person has spent any time defining the difference between child discipline and child abuse. One group implies every single time you touch a child, you are abusing them. Another group says corporal punishment is ok, because it works! And works well! My kids were spanked, I was spanked, we turned out well. But when I was beaten in anger, that was child abuse.
So, let's not make disciplining a child corporally about abuse. That is simply not true, and not Biblical either!
1. Amazing how you join CC and 2 days later (the first posts you made!) you are telling everyone where to go, and when to get off. It would behoove you to get to know people here before you go off the rails on a witch hunt. Unless you are a banned member returning, and you actually do know everyone you are attacking. But, that needs to be dealt with on a different level.
2. So, please let us know how many children you have, and how well they turned out. I hope they are all perfect, because you certainly seem to know everything about everything.
If you are NOT a parent, then just go someplace else. Unless you are recalling some bad childhood experiences you had, and we can all already see whatever happened to you didn't work out for good.
@Marc
At first when you were talking about "spanking naked" I confess to being a bit shocked and horrified. I didn't do that, I can't imagine a woman stripping her pre-teen and/or teenage boys, and spanking them. So, they got hit through their pants! (My daughter never got spanked, because she literally never disobeyed or did anything wrong - she just sort of raised herself perfectly. Maybe watching her brothers was all the information she needed to make good decisions as a toddler and on upwards, as she always did.)
So no, I never pulled down my kids pants and spanked them. And then I remembered - right, that is how I was spanked! And it really stung! There was nothing sexual about it, it was just what parents did in those days. It didn't damage or hurt me in any way. But, when I started being "beaten" which was outbursts of anger, and fists flying everywhere, especially when I was in the right - well, that damaged me! So much that I ran away from home at 17, and never returned. But nothing to do with discipline and getting spanked when I was younger.
But, my husband thought spanking our boys was important, and so did I. As they moved into their early teens, I read something about never using your hand to spank, so I used a wooden spoon. My boys were super athletes, in competitive everything sports. They had HARD butts! In fact, I started breaking wooden spoons over them. And do you know what they would do when that happened? They would all laugh hysterically! They thought it was funny, especially because I made everything from scratch and loved my wooden spoons for cooking.
So, one day, one of them disobeyed me. I told him to lean over the counter. He offered to get the wooden spoon for me, so I could "break it over his butt again!" More hysterical laughter! That was the last time that I or my husband spanked them. And really, they were good kids. They knew right from wrong, and they also knew God. But they were rambunctious boys, not angels, and sometimes they forgot or bent the rules.
So, after that, the threat was "no hockey" if they broke a rule. Since they played almost every day, year round, this was a serious issue. Plus, they had NHL dreams (one did play a bit in the NHL, the other decided on a 5 year scholarship to university), so they took that more seriously, once they were able to intellectually connect the punishment of not going to hockey, with their disobedience.
So, how did they turn out? All are happily married, lots of university degrees, great careers, own their own houses, and never in trouble with the law. How did I turn out, having been stripped naked and spanked? (My parents were not Christians, by the way!) Well, happily married almost 38 years, 4 happy kids, 5 wonderful grandchildren, a good career teaching, now working ministry, and just applying to a PhD program.
In fact, the worst thing that happened to me, was my parents telling me something I did was wrong, to do with morality when I got older, and their answer was "Because we say so!" Even then I would think, "So this is not about what God says, just their random rules!"
So, I think the OP needs to spend a lot of time with his son. Read the Bible together. Read passages about respecting women. Read some psychological and physiological papers about how porn literally damages the brain. And child locks, of course on all devices as some have mentioned. Explain clearly and repeatedly how wrong porn is, from every angle you can. Because it is just that bad.
And when he understands why it is wrong, both in a spiritual and secular way, and he does it, I think he needs to be disciplined. Since you cannot spank, which I think is part of his problem, then find other ways to punish. Take away all devices and fun toys. If he also likes Lego, for example, take it away, and tell him he is not going to enjoy himself in any way for a while, until he understands how evil porn is.
When I grew up, in Canada, we had something called the "strap" at school. It was used to punish kids with 3 black marks. It helped discipline, but I know of 2 examples where children were beaten badly, and that is why it was removed from schools. Because power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely!
Also the OP should explain the reasons why it does not matter what "everyone else is doing." Our society has bent over backwards to adopt liberal views of discipline to mean that any kind of punishment is child abuse.
I was a teacher for many years, my daughter is a social work in Child Prevention, or as I fondly call it "child abduction from their parents." Now, she knows I am joking. She has to follow the laws with regards to punishment. But, there is a vast difference between a irresponsible dad or mom, who are not feeding or clothing their child properly, and maybe hitting them anger, than a parent losing it because their child did some so repugnant, the parent was overcome.
Child abuse is a serious issue, I know! But not one person has spent any time defining the difference between child discipline and child abuse. One group implies every single time you touch a child, you are abusing them. Another group says corporal punishment is ok, because it works! And works well! My kids were spanked, I was spanked, we turned out well. But when I was beaten in anger, that was child abuse.
So, let's not make disciplining a child corporally about abuse. That is simply not true, and not Biblical either!
I have happy well adjusted kids to show for my methods. You have academic decline, school shootings, gay agenda and abortion rights to show for yours. The results speak for themselves. My daughter graduated High School with an A.S. in chemistry and entered college as a Junior. She seems to have turned out pretty well.
Boys will be boys. Really, nothing to tell mum about. When discussing something with your son it's best not to yell at him. Just tell him calmly that you're disappointed in his behavior but you still love him regardless. I'm sure that your computer has parental controls to limit what he can view. Better yet, ask him to go outside for a game of catch.
P
In response to Angela53510,
She wrote: 1. Amazing how you join CC and 2 days later (the first posts you made!) you are telling everyone where to go, and when to get off. It would behoove you to get to know people here before you go off the rails on a witch hunt. Unless you are a banned member returning, and you actually do know everyone you are attacking. But, that needs to be dealt with on a different level.
2. So, please let us know how many children you have, and how well they turned out. I hope they are all perfect, because you certainly seem to know everything about everything.
If you are NOT a parent, then just go someplace else. Unless you are recalling some bad childhood experiences you had, and we can all already see whatever happened to you didn't work out for good.
I have not at all told anyone "where to go" nor "when to get off" ... I have no idea where you came up with that ... I have, on the other hand, shared the truth of what the Bible says ... Also, I am not a banned member as I signed up for the first time just recently ... That is interesting that you would say that if someone is not a parent that they have nothing to offer any parent and that they should just go somewhere else ... Also, interesting is your attitude that someone new cannot immediately speak the truth of the Bible ... I did not realize the truth had to gain such seniority before it was allowed to be spoken ... I was sort of under the impression that I was joining a Christian site where it would be welcomed immediately ... According to your attitude, if Jesus Himself was to show up and join the site, then you would require for Him to wait a certain amount of time before He should speak truth to anyone ... Somehow that doesn't ring very Christian to me to require one to obtain any certain level of seniority in order to speak truth of the Bible ... Also, it doesn't seem very Christian like to order anyone to go somewhere else simply because they may be childless and passing along what the Bible truly says regarding the raising of children ...
I realize you believe you are extremely Christian like, but it hasn't come through in your words ... Basically telling people to shut up and to go somewhere else because you don't like the truth they have spoken or how long they have been here ... I don't see any requirement in the Bible for anyone to have children to be able to help those to the truth that do have children ... I also do not see anything in the Bible requiring anyone to have any sort of seniority in order to speak anything that is truthful ... As you claim I have gone over sound boundaries, I believe it may just be you that is not standing on very solid ground with your ideas ...
You are probably right that I should just go somewhere else ... There seems to be a lot of people on here that are extremely resentful of the truth and unwilling to listen to any common sense ...
She wrote: 1. Amazing how you join CC and 2 days later (the first posts you made!) you are telling everyone where to go, and when to get off. It would behoove you to get to know people here before you go off the rails on a witch hunt. Unless you are a banned member returning, and you actually do know everyone you are attacking. But, that needs to be dealt with on a different level.
2. So, please let us know how many children you have, and how well they turned out. I hope they are all perfect, because you certainly seem to know everything about everything.
If you are NOT a parent, then just go someplace else. Unless you are recalling some bad childhood experiences you had, and we can all already see whatever happened to you didn't work out for good.
I have not at all told anyone "where to go" nor "when to get off" ... I have no idea where you came up with that ... I have, on the other hand, shared the truth of what the Bible says ... Also, I am not a banned member as I signed up for the first time just recently ... That is interesting that you would say that if someone is not a parent that they have nothing to offer any parent and that they should just go somewhere else ... Also, interesting is your attitude that someone new cannot immediately speak the truth of the Bible ... I did not realize the truth had to gain such seniority before it was allowed to be spoken ... I was sort of under the impression that I was joining a Christian site where it would be welcomed immediately ... According to your attitude, if Jesus Himself was to show up and join the site, then you would require for Him to wait a certain amount of time before He should speak truth to anyone ... Somehow that doesn't ring very Christian to me to require one to obtain any certain level of seniority in order to speak truth of the Bible ... Also, it doesn't seem very Christian like to order anyone to go somewhere else simply because they may be childless and passing along what the Bible truly says regarding the raising of children ...
I realize you believe you are extremely Christian like, but it hasn't come through in your words ... Basically telling people to shut up and to go somewhere else because you don't like the truth they have spoken or how long they have been here ... I don't see any requirement in the Bible for anyone to have children to be able to help those to the truth that do have children ... I also do not see anything in the Bible requiring anyone to have any sort of seniority in order to speak anything that is truthful ... As you claim I have gone over sound boundaries, I believe it may just be you that is not standing on very solid ground with your ideas ...
You are probably right that I should just go somewhere else ... There seems to be a lot of people on here that are extremely resentful of the truth and unwilling to listen to any common sense ...
J
Silver wings Ugly wasn't "downing my answer" he was "making a good point" to add on to my answer though yeah he sounds like he is but that's just "him" and I respect that about him,because I too give blunt "constructive criticism" that can sound like "putting down someone" or the like but it's more of we just are more "to the point" and well a bit "smart aleck like" I can't speak for Ugly but I often express answers that way to "be more direct" because sometimes plain ol simple words can be very fruitful.
J
Well... you do have a point lol,I made "many posts" and got rep power fast through singles forum and miscellaneous forum and got people cheesed at me in conspiracy and corruption forum(had them investigate a supposed cookie that I claimed was taken not one of my finer moments) all within I think under a month of joining Christian chat even getting rep power a bit early but oh well that's the story of Joefizz silly and random excluding scriptures.