Yep cos they annoying and ring at inapporpriate times. And I dont use my phone for that. I did say that, cos it costs me to txt and if its not that important and they want to have a screeds long conversation I cant really answer.
Yea, I am wary. I just said, if you want to be sociable, go help a neighbour. Or if they want to join a group but feels awkward for first time, ask one of the members to see if any can carpool with you.
They then said they would rather know a few people than many not at all. Im tired of explaining how, you can make friends with other people and dont have to know every single person. But if you dont go to meet new people, you wont ever get to know them.
This is actually quite a simple thing to reason out. And one that perhaps you should be more understanding about.
The two most common reasons a person may say such things...
1) introverted - introverts Are social people, they simply go about socialization in a different way. Shyness can often (but not always) come with introversion. So this person may want friends but not have experience or confidence to approach people casually. I am this way. What you treat as a nuisance or a pest, to me would be a struggle that I wish I could overcome and even frustrate me in my failure to do so.
Introversion is not a defect. It is a personality trait.
2) depression - depression has a way of making you feel isolated, all the time. For some getting out of bed may be difficult, let alone helping others or making friends. It may make someone latch on to another that they feel has stood out to them in some way.
And since depression is more than just controlling your thoughts, it doesn't go away easily. Or for some people, ever.
I would encourage you to not assume this person understands they're being inconvenient. Or to talk down so harshly on someone struggling to make friends. Just because it's an inconvenient thing for you doesn't mean you have to look down on them, because it probably is a compliment to you that they chose you. Instead of being upset with them why not look inward and ask yourself why you aren't more patient or understanding with them?
Sometimes that person that is a fly in the way of your oh so important life is a hurting or desperate person doing their best to reach out and is under the idea that you may be the type that cares. If you can't understand how that's a good thing then that saddens me.
It's a similar mindset to seeing a homeless, hungry person then going home and complaining about what a nuisance they are to your life.
No, they're simply struggling and in need. And if you're unwilling or incapable of helping that is no need to put them down for asking.
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