Tit 3:3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
Tit 3:4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
Tit 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Before we came to Christ, we did bad things, but after God CONVICTED us of doing those things, then the kindness and love of God came to us
It didn't come by works that we have done, it came by 1) saving us 2) washing us 3) renewing us.
That's all I can say about that, the love of God was shown to us by 1) saving us 2) washing us 3) renewing us. If you can't see that, I can't help you.... but even if you don't see it that way, I don't condemn you or look down on you and I still consider you a friend and a brother in the Lord.