People you cant talk to

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#42
I cant talk to controlling, arrogant people who think they know what you think and are rude and call other people stupid who just dont think like they do.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#44
oh dear.
imagine if you couldnt talk to women, your mum will keep wondering why you never call her. You just tell your dad everything you want to say to your mum, cos you cant talk to women.

Your phone has a block on it so that if its a woman calling it just goes to voice mail. And everyone else, you have to write down what you want to say cos you cant talk to women, so you go round with a dry erase board or a phrase book and point out what you want to say as you are mysteriously tongue tied when around women

You get diagnosed with a disorder and when christians bring up the topic you can confidently say TONGUES HAVE CEASED (but only around women. ) the cessationists love you and hold you up as their posterboy
 

Mak33

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2019
381
374
63
#45
Are there people you find you just cant have a decent conversation with?
Normal people give and take, wait their turn, listen, and try to understand, but some people you just cant talk with.

They either pushy or arrogant or sarcastic but have no sense of humour so they dont 'get' anything.

What do you do...just avoid them?
I cant talk to some people without them bragging about their country all the time. Its like 'you wouldnt be here if not for us' kind of arrogance and every converstion has to be about how great their country is. What is that, like country chauvinism or something?
Is it because they joined the military and have to prove how right they are to kill lots of people or something? I dont know.

I mean it might be one thing if its just sports. But if its just like how much money they have or how big an army they command then so what?


Hi, I know how you feel, my mom is like that, since we we're kids she's been hot tempered, when she became a Christian she mellowed a little bit, I know we all get to be renewed from our previous selves, I am not questioning the system or the process, it is gradually in it's proper time, but she really is impossible, I talk to her nicely but she will retort back in a very high pitched voice like she wanted to pick a fight every time, I can't talk to her without ending up in a big argument, even if I consult her for some plans, she would always give me a negative feedback and it bums me, it really brings me down. It's harder when it is your own family who is very close to your heart, it breaks me also when we fight over silly petty things, I tried understanding her and I am on the process and praying for her too. I have more to vent out but this is too long, it's just so nice to have someone to talk about having the same kind of situation.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#46
Hi, I know how you feel, my mom is like that, since we we're kids she's been hot tempered, when she became a Christian she mellowed a little bit, I know we all get to be renewed from our previous selves, I am not questioning the system or the process, it is gradually in it's proper time, but she really is impossible, I talk to her nicely but she will retort back in a very high pitched voice like she wanted to pick a fight every time, I can't talk to her without ending up in a big argument, even if I consult her for some plans, she would always give me a negative feedback and it bums me, it really brings me down. It's harder when it is your own family who is very close to your heart, it breaks me also when we fight over silly petty things, I tried understanding her and I am on the process and praying for her too. I have more to vent out but this is too long, it's just so nice to have someone to talk about having the same kind of situation.
its very hard when its your own family.

I have learned some strategies to deal with it but kind of an ongoing battle. Prayer is good.

The picking a fight thing I do not get. And sometimes I have noticed some people deliberately set up a fight just so they can feel superior to other people who dare disagree with them.

i.e someone says something outrgaeously wrong like all XX are stupid. You could just ignore it or challenge it but sometimes challenging them doesnt do anything to change their view. Or you can just say thats just your opinion which most people do not share. sorry.

I feel if you ignore it they are just spilling their hatred on everyone without a check. sometimes you have to say STOP IT and DONT say those things. I had a swear jar for my (former) boss once. He really owed me a lot of pies for each time he would curse someone out.
 

Mak33

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2019
381
374
63
#47
its very hard when its your own family.

I have learned some strategies to deal with it but kind of an ongoing battle. Prayer is good.

The picking a fight thing I do not get. And sometimes I have noticed some people deliberately set up a fight just so they can feel superior to other people who dare disagree with them.

i.e someone says something outrgaeously wrong like all XX are stupid. You could just ignore it or challenge it but sometimes challenging them doesnt do anything to change their view. Or you can just say thats just your opinion which most people do not share. sorry.

I feel if you ignore it they are just spilling their hatred on everyone without a check. sometimes you have to say STOP IT and DONT say those things. I had a swear jar for my (former) boss once. He really owed me a lot of pies for each time he would curse someone out.

Lol, thanks. That's a lot of help, I agree about challenging, it won't make a difference, I would try the ignoring and more praying part. Thanks.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
7,577
3,615
113
#48
I am not sure if I would even stick around if I met them in person but online they can be quite intimidating, even scary when their views are disagreed with.

Im like ok sorry for even responding with a view thats mine and not yours. You are always right and everyone else is wrong or ignorant ok.
That seems to be par for the course if you desire to share the thoughts you have about God.. I consider it a normal thing to be attacked and hated.. Jesus said we would be hated if we believed and trusted in Him.. And so it is.. It can be very hard when you really want the other person to be blessed with the truth.. I have had people i would have died for who ended up rejecting the Way of salvation and walking away from me, shunning me.. It can hurt, hurt real bad.. But such is life in a world full of strife..
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,159
9,249
113
#49
For some reason every time I see this thread I think of that old song, "Smackwater Jack." Apparently there are two kinds of people you can't talk to.

You can't talk to a man
With a shotgun in his hand

AND

You can't talk to a man
When he don't wanna understand
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#50
For some reason every time I see this thread I think of that old song, "Smackwater Jack." Apparently there are two kinds of people you can't talk to.

You can't talk to a man
With a shotgun in his hand

AND

You can't talk to a man
When he don't wanna understand
That’s right, you can’t talk to a man with a shotgun in his hand.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#51
I think that if we have difficulty with others we need to take a very honest look at our own part in the interactions. Have we been kind, patient, understanding and fair? Have we said hurtful things, been judgemental? Have we had any part in provoking the response we didn't like? Do we owe them apologies for our behaviour? Have we been supportive or have we been self absorbed? Is there any truth, however painful, in what people are saying?
Honest self evaluation of our own behaviour and a little bit of humility can repair things that seem broken. Sometimes we do owe someone else an apology. It doesn't matter if you don't think it is a big deal if the other person is telling you that it is. Maybe if we stop being offended and try to see the hurt behind the anger we open up new possibilities.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#52
I think that if we have difficulty with others we need to take a very honest look at our own part in the interactions. Have we been kind, patient, understanding and fair? Have we said hurtful things, been judgemental? Have we had any part in provoking the response we didn't like? Do we owe them apologies for our behaviour? Have we been supportive or have we been self absorbed? Is there any truth, however painful, in what people are saying?
Honest self evaluation of our own behaviour and a little bit of humility can repair things that seem broken. Sometimes we do owe someone else an apology. It doesn't matter if you don't think it is a big deal if the other person is telling you that it is. Maybe if we stop being offended and try to see the hurt behind the anger we open up new possibilities.

I chose to ignore or avoid people who are offensive. I know it is the easy way but I don't want to deal with them because I might say something bad or hurt them back. If I cannot avoid, I just deal with them only professionally.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#53
I chose to ignore or avoid people who are offensive. I know it is the easy way but I don't want to deal with them because I might say something bad or hurt them back. If I cannot avoid, I just deal with them only professionally.
I understand. There are some people who try to provoke or choose to be unkind. Avoiding conflict is not a bad thing. :)
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#54
Can’t is too strong. There are people I prefer not to be around because their character or behavior is unsettling and relating with one another isn’t profitable. There are connections where it’s evident the Lord is at work and desires my presence and others He’ll prick me to avoid.

As a rule, strife is a no-fly zone. People prone to anger, outbursts, or arguments would rarely warrant my willingness to build a bond. The upset is emotionally taxing.

I value tolerance and courtesy. I don’t enjoy being with people who put others down for what they have or lack. I think that’s indicative of an unkind spirit and we each have areas of plenty and places where barrenness may be a factor. That holds true for the poor and wealthy. I don’t want to hear either disparaged.

Because of my heart for the lost, I’m not a fan of overly religious people. While I would never sanction someone’s display of their belief. I find their discourse is often filled with should’s and personal convictions they apply liberally to others. I was won by love and that’s the way I prefer to interact.

The last is hard to term. I don’t think neediness is the right word but it plays a part as does the void. What I’m referencing are frenzied connections where one desires immediacy in closeness and intimating. I don’t know what drives them but I sense their need and feel they’re placing me in a hole of sorts.

But authentic bonds take time and intention to build. I don’t think sharing a challenge means the hearer is invested in my betterment and willing to come alongside. In the same way, there’s a natural cadence in human interactions and intimacy grows with time.

As believers, I feel we should seek the Lord’s input to confirm if the connection bears His will and blessing. And I don’t believe we can have the bonds we seek if we’re forcing the issue or operate in fear.

These days, I like to take my time getting acquainted. I need to know we fit and my availability meshes with theirs. If we let the process take its course we will be where we’re meant. But if we push the issue it will probably wither from too much handling.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#55
I think if you cant talk to someone then let Jesus mediate...you just have to step back.
I wouldnt get involved with needless strife like pulling a dogs ear.

sometimes silence can speak volumes.

as for rich and poor disparity...the difference between rich and poor is the poor cant do anything to remedy their situation but the rich actually can IF they want to. But it is up to the rich to take action, they do have a choice. The poor do not have many choices in life which is why they are poor.

As Christians, we do have spiritual riches to share. So we need to be doing this (sharing the gospel) its never for us alone. The thing is, I have learned early on, is not to give it to dogs who will turn on you or pearls to swine who will only look at salvation as another thing like anything else and not value it.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#57
People who want to talk and NOT listen
story of my life lol
I just had a particularly trying day at school. If ever day is going to be like that I will just go home for lunch.
Hopefully I can recruit a student teacher to help. Otherwise its straight to the Principals office I go....
 
E

enginseer

Guest
#58
Are there people you find you just cant have a decent conversation with?
Normal people give and take, wait their turn, listen, and try to understand, but some people you just cant talk with.

They either pushy or arrogant or sarcastic but have no sense of humour so they dont 'get' anything.

What do you do...just avoid them?
I cant talk to some people without them bragging about their country all the time. Its like 'you wouldnt be here if not for us' kind of arrogance and every converstion has to be about how great their country is. What is that, like country chauvinism or something?
Is it because they joined the military and have to prove how right they are to kill lots of people or something? I dont know.

I mean it might be one thing if its just sports. But if its just like how much money they have or how big an army they command then so what?

Yeah, I noticed that around here. I just got here and the majority of people is quite judgmental or restrictive with a touch of being conceited.
And the general rudeness and unchristlike behavior in the chatroom is quite stifling and distheartening.

My father used to say "if you aren´t welcome then dont stay"
 
E

enginseer

Guest
#59
Are there people you find you just cant have a decent conversation with?
Normal people give and take, wait their turn, listen, and try to understand, but some people you just cant talk with.

They either pushy or arrogant or sarcastic but have no sense of humour so they dont 'get' anything.

What do you do...just avoid them?
I cant talk to some people without them bragging about their country all the time. Its like 'you wouldnt be here if not for us' kind of arrogance and every converstion has to be about how great their country is. What is that, like country chauvinism or something?
Is it because they joined the military and have to prove how right they are to kill lots of people or something? I dont know.

I mean it might be one thing if its just sports. But if its just like how much money they have or how big an army they command then so what?

you might want to rethink what you just wrote. "people sleep peacefully in their beds at night because rough man stand ready to do violence on their behalf." Sure you will find scumbags every where, but unlike your average office clerl or stock jockey and general manager, he will do his job at the potential expense of his life. I am a soldier, and we love peace so much that we are willing to give our lives for it.

so I suggest, you should have a bit more care in what you say about service people. because before long pray that you will never need the help of someone you just spat in the face
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#60
you might want to rethink what you just wrote. "people sleep peacefully in their beds at night because rough man stand ready to do violence on their behalf." Sure you will find scumbags every where, but unlike your average office clerl or stock jockey and general manager, he will do his job at the potential expense of his life. I am a soldier, and we love peace so much that we are willing to give our lives for it.

so I suggest, you should have a bit more care in what you say about service people. because before long pray that you will never need the help of someone you just spat in the face
I didnt write that dont put words in my mouth I didnt say.

sorry you are mistaken and I suggest you be more careful about what YOU write.

I sleep peacefully at night because God gives me sweet sleep and Jesus died for me.
I have already given my life to Him.